


Got Me Wrong

by ShameInYou



Series: The Staley-Hoon Family [9]
Category: Alice in Chains, Blind Melon
Genre: Drama, Family, Fluff, M/M, Slash
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-08-30
Updated: 2014-09-09
Packaged: 2018-02-15 08:28:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 12
Words: 53,887
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2222334
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShameInYou/pseuds/ShameInYou
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He gritted his teeth as he stood there. Phil fucking Staley. His fucking junkie father, Phil Staley. What the hell, how did he fucking get his number? Layne had not lived in Seattle for years, not since he had been fucked up near death on drugs. Layne harbored alot of hate towards his father. He had suppressed this hate for years. As far as he was concerned, Phil was dead to him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Daddy Issues

**Author's Note:**

> Another "Down In A Hole" spinoff. Layne, Shannon and their children Laina, Shayne and Zaine.
> 
> Layne and Phil
> 
> http://i61.tinypic.com/4tqzhy.jpg

The day began like any other day at the Staley household in LaFayette, Indiana. Layne stirred at dawn, opening his eyes to see it barely light outside, the birds chirping. He sighed and smiled as he felt his husband, Shannon, stirring beside him. Layne sat up, yawning and running a hand through his curly, blonde hair. He looked over at the clock. It was around 6am. He stretched, looking down at Shannon who was slowly moving. Layne reached down and ran a hand down his side, Shannon shivering and smiling.

Layne smiled to himself, getting up and going to the bathroom that was attached to their bedroom. He pissed, one hand on his dick, the other against the wall as he leaned over the toilet, yawning. He then made his way to the sink once he was done. He brushed his teeth, looking at himself in the mirror. He finished up, rinsing and spitting and then came back to the bed, turning the lamp on that was on his nightstand before climbing back in. Shannon had pulled the covers over his shoulder, turned around, looking at Layne, smiling.

"Morning Shanny..." Layne said softly.

"Morning." Shannon smiled tiredly, sighing.

They stared at each other for a moment. Layne bit his lip, smirking down at his husband. Shannon sighed again.

"I know what that means..." He chuckled lightly.

"What?" Layne asked innocently, sucking his bottom lip into his mouth.

"You brushed your teeth. You want sex." Shannon smiled teasingly.

Layne blushed, shifting a bit.

"Yeah well, you gonna give me some dick before the kids get up?" Layne asked softly.

"I guess." Shannon sighed teasingly, throwing the covers down and sitting up, stretching.

He got out of the bed and went in the bathroom, following the same routine that Layne had, pissing and then brushing his teeth.

While Shannon was in the bathroom, Layne had removed his underwear, fetching the lube out of the nightstand drawer, setting it on the bed. Shannon came back out, standing in front of the bed, sliding his underwear down and he climbed on the bed smirking. He straddled Layne, leaning down and started kissing him.

Before they knew it, Layne was on all fours, prepared by Shannon and being fucked by Shannon. Shannon had to work that day; he would have this to think about as he was hard at work at his studio, producing albums. Layne bit his lip and pushed back onto Shannon as Shannon held onto Layne's hips tightly.

Layne loved being the bottom, he felt so protected by Shanny. Shanny had, after all, saved his life, saved him from drugs. They had a wonderful family and Layne loved waking up to his beautiful husband every morning, expressing their love. It was like a routine, they both needed it.

It wasn't long before Shannon struck something inside of Layne that made him shake with pleasure. Shannon chuckled, wrapping an arm around Layne's stomach as he leaned forward a bit, his other hand flat on the bed as he pumped himself into Layne. Each thrust hit this special spot deep inside of Layne, making the lovemaking that particular morning extra special.

Shannon bit his lip, smirking as he pounded his husband this way, making his husband cum. Shannon wasn't done yet as Layne still shook, body red and sweaty from the pleasure as Shannon finished up, pulling out just as he was about to cum, stroking himself and shooting the result of his love for his husband all over the back of Layne's thighs.

It was the perfect start to a perfect morning for the happy couple.

Shortly after cleaning up and resting a bit, the two lovers went into their bathroom, taking a shower together, hands roaming tattooed skin, lathering, rinsing, lips kissing, tongues touching. Both men were refreshed after their shower.

As they were both getting dressed, the children started waking up. Layne barely got his pants on as one of the twins started to frantically turn the doorknob to their bedroom. Shannon was buttoning his shirt up, laughing to himself.

"Daddy Layne? Daddy Shannon! Open!" A little voice sounded.

Layne walked over, fixing his pants, unlocking and opening the door.

"Morning sweeties..." Layne smiled down at his 4 year old twin boys, Zaine and Shayne.

Both boys had just woken up, hair disheveled, staring up at their father.

"Daddy we're hungry!" Shayne wined.

"Let me finish getting ready and I'll fix something for you guys, okay?" Layne smiled. "Go to the living room and turn on your cartoons."

"Okay!" Zaine exclaimed.

Zaine took Shayne's hand and the two boys scurried off down the hall.

"Don't run sweeties!" Layne called after them, sighing and smiling.

He put a shirt on, joining Shannon in the bathroom to comb his hair as Shannon was combing his own.

"I love you Shannon." Layne smiled.

"I love you too Layne." Shannon smirked.

Once they were finished, the morning began. Shannon went outside to fetch the paper while Layne went into the kitchen, looking around to see what to cook. He started a pot of coffee for he and Shannon. Once he started whipping up something for breakfast, Shannon was back in the kitchen, on his cell phone already, making business calls to the musicians manager who he was supposed to be working with in his studio that day. He had the paper opened over the table, reading local news.

The twin's loud giggling and cartoon noises from the tv could be heard in the kitchen. Layne smiled to himself. He was multitasking as he cooked bacon and pancakes, rushing over to grab a mug for Shannon that said "#1 DAD" on it, filling it with coffee.

He rushed over, setting the coffee filled mug down on the table beside Shannon, pouring sugar and creamer in it that he had quickly grabbed from the fridge, setting them down, quickly stirring it for Shannon. Shannon turned his head facing Layne while he was still on the phone, yammering away, pausing and mouthing the words "thank you" to Layne and then puckered his lips. Layne quickly kissed him and smiled, putting the coffee stuff away and getting back to cooking.

Just as he was finishing up, Shannon had gotten off the phone, sitting at the table and reading the paper quietly. Their 11 year old daughter Laina had finally woken up, tiredly trudging into the kitchen, putting her hair behind her ears, her bedroom shoes scuffing along the floor as she made her way over to Shannon, hugging him.

"Morning honey." Shannon smiled at her.

"Morning daddy..." She smiled.

She then walked over to Layne and hugged him.

"Breakfast's ready sweetie, go sit down and I'll fix you're plate..." Layne smiled warmly at her.

Laina smiled and walked over to the table. Shannon folded the paper back up and set it to the side.

"Boys! Get in here, breakfast!" Shannon yelled to the twins.

The scurrying of feet could be heard as the twins ran into the kitchen, climbing in their chairs. Layne smiled as he fixed plates, walking back and forth as he set everyone's plates down. Shannon's first, Laina's, then the twins.

"Chocolate chip pancakes! Oh boy! Thanks daddy!" Zaine screamed, picking one up with his hand and biting it.

Shayne mimicked him.

Laina frowned at her little brothers, rolling her eyes and shook her head as she used her utensils to cut her pancakes and eat them. Layne finally sat down and began eating his bacon, sipping his coffee and smiling at his family.

They were so perfect. Things were so perfect. Layne asked Shannon about the band he was producing that day. Shannon talked about that briefly and then they started talking to the kids over breakfast.

The breakfast was nice and Shannon and the children were nice enough to clean up after they were all done. Layne sat on the couch in the living room, watching the morning News.

After everyone had cleaned up, they came back in the living room. It was almost time for Shannon to leave for work.

Shannon sat on the couch, Laina hugging him as they watched the news. The twins had fetched their gameboys and were laying on the floor, gameboys facing each other, having a battle on their pokemon games.

"Well everyone, I better get going." Shannon replied, kissing Laina's cheek before standing up and stretching.

Layne stood up as well.

"Boys, tell daddy Shannon bye, he's gotta go to work." Layne said to the twins.

They looked up from their gameboys.

"Bye daddy!" They said in unison.

Shannon chuckled to himself, shaking his head. Shannon and Layne walked to the door.

"Call me on your break?" Layne said softly, wrapping his arms around Shannon.

"Yeah. MMM This morning was so great...you were so hot..." Shannon almost whispered.

Layne blushed and chuckled. "Get outta here..."

"Give me a kiss first..." Shannon smirked.

Layne leaned in, pressing his lips to Shannon's. Shannon tilted his head, sighing as they kissed. Shannon pulled away slowly, looking into Layne's eyes.

"I'll see you later today." Shannon smirked.

"Alright, Love you, have a good day." Layne smirked.

He watched as Shannon got in his Galaxie. Shannon waved before he drove off, Layne sighed and waved back and closed the door once Shannon was gone.

Layne turned around to the kids and smiled.

"What do you rascals wanna do today?" He asked, putting his hands on his hips.

"Fun Zone! Let's go to the Fun Zone!" Laina exclaimed.

This got the twins started, they put their gameboys down and perked up.

"Fun Zone!"

"Ooooh Fun Zone daddy!"

Layne sighed, furrowing his brows.

"Guys...why don't we do something else? We always go to the Fun Zone...why don't we go see a movie? Or we could go to a museum?" Layne smiled.

The kids ran over to Layne, standing around his legs, Laina hugging his waist, the twins tugging on his jeans.

"Fun Zone daddy, please we wanna go to the Fun Zone!" Laina begged.

The twins echoed her sentiments. Layne rolled his eyes and sighed as he looked down at the children, who looked up at him with the most precious pouty faces. He was a sucker for his babies. He always gave into them.

"Alright alright, Fun Zone..." Layne sighed.

The children screamed, linking hands and spinning in a circle in front of Layne. Layne smirked, shaking his head. He clapped his hands.

"Well go ahead, take your baths, get dressed and we'll head out!" He smiled.

* * *

Before he knew it, the kids were piled in the car, chatting excitedly. Laina fumbled with the radio, turning on B*Witched and singing loudly. Layne smiled, shaking his head. It was always a noisy ride with the kids. The twins decided to wear their capes and they were in the backseat, pretending they were superheros, making fighting noises and flying noises. Laina had her favorite toy with her, a pink My Little Pony horse with rainbow colored hair. She combed it and sang loudly to herself.

They finally made it to the Fun Zone. Layne cursed internally. The Fun Zone was fucking packed.

They got inside and there were rugrats everywhere, running around, playing games, winning tickets, getting prizes. Layne sighed as he paid for some tokens for his children.

"Laina, watch your brothers!" Layne called as the children ran off with their tokens.

Layne had came prepared. He had a book with him to read. He went to the nearest empty table and sat down, opening his book and beginning to read. He had become accustomed to blocking out the noise of screaming parents, screaming children and loud games.

There was always something interesting going on at the Fun Zone. Layne would look up every now and then for the kids. At one point he saw Laina playing a game, the twins standing around her. She waved her pony around when she won and tickets poured out of the machine. He smiled to himself and chuckled, shaking his head and going back to his book.

Nearly 2 hours later, Layne was sat back in the booth he was sitting in, legs stretched out, halfway through his book when he heard Shayne screaming his name.

Layne closed the book, furrowing his brows to see his baby standing in front of him, face red, tears streaming down his face.

He slide up, Shayne running to stand between his legs.

"Baby, Shayne baby what's wrong, what is it?" Layne asked, heart breaking at his boy's tears.

He reached his hands up, stroking his son's cheeks, wiping the tears away with this thumbs.

"This boy took all of my tickets!" Shayne cried, sobbing.

Layne frowned, brows furrowed, kissing Shayne's forehead.

"Who baby? Who took your tickets?" Layne asked.

Shayne looked around. He stuck his arm out, pointing.

"He did!" Shayne frowned.

Layne saw the little brat that Shayne had pointed at. The boy was pushing other kids around. Layne saw with his own eyes that the bully brat was taking other kids tickets as well.

"That little fucking devil. People need to raise their kids right I swear..." Layne mumbled to himself.

Shayne put his fingers in his mouth and sobbed hysterically, crying. Layne left his book on the table as he sighed, picking his sweet boy up. Shayne wrapped his arms around Layne's neck and cried into his shoulder as Layne walked around, dodging little kids and trying to find Laina and Zaine.

He finally came up to them, they were playing another game. He waited until they finished.

"Laina!" Layne yelled over the noise as Laina grabbed the tickets that were spilling out of the machine.

Laina jumped and looked at Layne. "What daddy?"

"Laina I told you to watch your brothers, some brat took all of Shayne's tickets sweetie." Layne sighed.

"Daddy...I am watching them...I told you not to wander away Shayne!" Laina pouted.

"It's okay sweetie, just watch out for that kid okay? I saw him taking other kids tickets too. I wonder where his parents are..." Layne replied.

"Okay daddy." Laina smiled.

Layne kissed Shayne's temple as Laina and Zaine ran off into the abyss of rugrats, holding hands.

"Sweetie do you want more tokens? Daddy can get you more tokens and we can play some games together and get you some more tickets..." Layne cooed.

Shayne sniffled and nodded at Layne. Layne smiled warmly at him. He set Shayne down and Shayne held Layne's hand as they went to the token machine. Layne let his hand go so he could put some more money in and get some tokens.

"C'mon sweetie, let's go play some games..." Layne smiled, holding his hand out.

Shayne smiled and sniffled, holding his dad's hand as they went to a wack a mole game. Shayne giggled as Layne put some tokens in and they both played, hitting the moles as they popped up, getting a high score, tickets just pouring out of the machine.

They went around, playing a few more games together, winning massive amounts of tickets.

Layne kneeled down, squeezing Shayne's shoulder.

"Feeling better sweetie? We got more tickets..." Layne smiled.

Shayne smiled and nodded, stepping up and hugging his daddy. Layne hugged him tight and just happened to look over his shoulder.

He saw Zaine playing a game, tickets wrapped around his arms as he played. He suddenly saw the bully come up to his other sweet baby and shoved him into the game. Layne scoffed, frowning.

Zaine looked behind him and the boy shoved him again, taking some of his tickets. Zaine started sobbing.

"Oh hell no, you little fucker!" Layne mumbled, standing up, grabbing Shayne's hand.

Layne was about to walk over and give the little bully a piece of his mind when suddenly, he stopped dead in his tracks as Laina walked up.

Laina was older then the bully. She frowned, shoving him away from Zaine. Kids were gathering around the bully. Laina was shoved back by the bully.

Layne was angry.

"Where's this kids parents!?" He yelled, looking around.

He looked back over to see Laina hold her My Little Pony doll up in the air and she suddenly chucked it at the bully, hitting him right on the forehead.

"ooohh...." Layne winced, cringing.

A loud scream could be heard from the boy and the little rugrats nearly ate him alive, stealing all of his tickets, Zaine joining in grabbing some himself.

Layne smiled, looking down at Shayne, who was smiling himself.

"You see that sweetie, that's what happens to bullies." Layne smiled.

The rugrat crowd dispersed and everyone went back to playing games and having fun and the bully just lay there on the floor for a second, a bit knot on his forehead from where Laina hit him with her pony doll. He sat up, frowning and sniffled, walking away.

Layne took Shayne back over to his brother and sister and Layne went back to his booth, continuing to read his book.

He looked up a few minutes later to see his children at the prize barn, picking out prizes with their tickets. He smiled to himself. They had been there nearly four hours, finally they were going to get ready to go.

As Layne was sitting there though, more drama unfolded. An angry woman stood in front of him, asking if he was the parents of the unruly children who were at the prize barn. Layne frowned, standing up, nodding. He looked down to see little bully brat looking up at him, the red knot on his forehead, a frown on his little ugly face.

His mom preceded to "curse" Layne out. It ended up turning into a big argument. Layne quickly shut the woman down, telling her how her little bully was shoving other children, taking their tickets. She told him the little brat had it coming. The argument wasn't serious and eventually Layne got the last word. He was so glad when his children were ready to go. He walked away from the petty woman.

There was always an adventure at Fun Zone.

* * *

"Daddy we got this flower for you and Daddy Shannon!" Laina exclaimed, holding up a giant plush flower in which the stem could be bent.

"Aww thanks kids...I love it. It's so sweet." Layne smiled.

The kids were all decked out in prizes. Sunglasses, bracelets, rings, candy. It had been a fun day. Next, Layne stopped by an ice cream shop, taking the kids inside for ice cream.

He sighed as they sat there, licking their cones. He wished Shannon could be here. He loved sharing cones with Shannon. He shook his head, now was not the time to have dirty thoughts about Shanny.

Once they were finished up, they headed back home.

The kids all went off to do their own things when they got home. Layne went into he and Shannon's bedroom and wrapped the plush flower around the bed frame, smiling to himself. He got more comfortable, changing into lounge shorts and a t shirt. He felt a little tired. He grabbed his cell phone and laid on the bed, calling Shannon.

The phone rang and rang and finally, Shannon answered the phone.

"Hey Layne."

"Hey Shannon. How's it going?" Layne asked.

"It's going good. Working hard, good tunes. Is it going good over there?" Shannon asked.

"Yeah, we just got back from Fun Zone." Layne smiled into the phone.

"Oh god. I know you're exhausted." Shannon chuckled into the phone.

"Very." Layne smiled.

Layne started telling Shannon about the adventure he had at Fun Zone and Shannon started telling Layne about what was going on in the studio. The phone call only lasted about 30 minutes before Shannon had to go.

After speaking with Shannon, Layne laid there until he fell asleep.

* * *

Layne didn't nap for very long. He woke up, yawning and stretching. He ran his hands through his hair. He looked at the time. 4pm. Maybe Shannon would be finishing up soon and coming home. He hoped Shannon would be home for dinner.

Layne got up, walking out into the hallway and down the stairs. He smiled when he heard his babies giggling.

"What cha rascals doing?" He asked, smiling as he walked into the living room.

"Watching the Flintstones daddy!" Laina giggled.

They were all laid on their stomachs, looking up at the tv, Laina in the middle and the twins on either side of her. They were so cute. Layne smirked and walked into the hallway downstairs where there was a phone on an end table and their answering machine. He saw the red light blinking. He hadn't heard the phone ring at all while he was asleep.

He furrowed his brows and pressed the play button, standing there, wondering who it could be, arms crossed.

The message started to play back.

_  
BEEP!_

_Uh...I hope this is the right number, I'm not sure. Layne, is this Layne Staley's residence? If so, Layne, it's me, your father, Phil Staley. Layne, I know, I know we haven't been on the greatest terms...Layne please just call me. I want to get to know you son...I know this is random and, just please give me a call. Talk to me son. I swear this time, this time it's different. I've been thinking about you and it took me a long time to track you down...please, I just want to talk to you. I hear you've got kids now Layne...my grandkids...Layne I'd love to meet them. Layne please don't ignore me, please don't be angry with me. I'm hoping we can talk, we can just bury the hatchet...we're both clean now, at the same time, I want a relationship with you son. Please, just, please call me...Here's my number....call anytime, I'd love to speak with you. We don't have to do anything but speak for now...okay well, bye son.  
_

Layne stood there, white as a ghost, his blood pooling to his feet. His heart started beating fast. He could feel a million emotions running through his veins instantly because of this one phone call. He felt like he was in a dream. He rewinded the message and listened to it again. He listened to it 3 times, trying to process this.

He gritted his teeth as he stood there. Phil fucking Staley. His fucking junkie father, Phil Staley. What the hell, how did he fucking get his number? Layne had not lived in Seattle for years, not since he had been fucked up near death on drugs.

Layne harbored alot of hate towards his father. He had suppressed this hate for years. As far as he was concerned, Phil was dead to him.

When Layne was a child, he could remember his dad was there, then he could remember, suddenly he was not. His dad left them. When he was 8 years old, a traumatic event happened that would fuck him up for years. His world was shattered when he was told his father was dead. He was confused and he missed his dad. Years later as a teenager, he would learn that his family had lied to him. His dad had been around the whole time, but he was a fuckin' junkie. He was doing it all, crack, heroine. He didn't care about any of his kids. He just cared about getting high.

Layne became a rockstar and Phil eventually saw Layne on the cover of a magazine. Phil contacted Layne and wanted to be apart of his life. Phil promised Layne that he had been clean of drugs for 6 years. Layne was skeptical, but still yearned for a relationship with his dad. He let his dad back into his life around that time.

Things quickly went downhill. Layne started using drugs and when Phil saw, Phil started back up again as well. Phil started using Layne for money, coming over all the time wanting to be high. It really fucked Layne up.

Eventually, Layne had to cut his dad off, tell him to stop coming around. The hurt and guilt ate at Layne. He blamed his father for the beginning of his drug spiral. It was part of it. Part of the reason why he was so fucked up, so fucked up that he had pushed Shannon away those years ago when Shannon was pregnant with Laina. He blamed his dad for everything. Blamed him for starting the chain of events that would send Layne into a drug daze, missing the first 6 years of Laina's life. Thank god Shannon came to Layne's condo on that faithful day and forced Layne to come meet his daughter.

The last time Layne had spoken to his father was at Thanksgiving 1997. Layne was bad off on heroine. He couldn't hardly live without it. Layne looked like shit. His hair was long and stringy, his skin was pale, he was sweaty. His dad showed up around that time. His dad was finally clean. He had kicked heroine. The man who had helped Layne get addicted, took his money so he could get high, the man who caused all of Layne's anguish, was fucking clean. And Layne was fucking suffering, trying to get help, but nothing was working. Layne was fucking bitter. Layne was fucking angry. That was the last straw.

He cut his father off for good. That was the last time he had seen him.

Once Layne got up with Shannon, he left Seattle. He left it all behind. He went to rehab, got aggressive treatment and got clean. Shannon and his daughter, that's what got him through it. Layne would NEVER be a shitty father like Phil was. Layne loved his children unconditionally and he would do ANYTHING for them and he would ALWAYS be there for them, unlike Phil.

Layne stood there, replaying the message again. He was getting angry. His eyes were pooling with tears. How dare this fucking guy call his private home. Grandchildren? He wasn't a father to Layne. He didn't deserve to see how Layne was living. He didn't deserve to see Layne's beautiful children.

Layne fucking hated him. Why did he think he could just call and fucking talk to Layne? He had no right! Who did he think he was? And more importantly, how the fuck did he get Layne's number? Layne wanted nothing to do with anyone in Seattle.

He was living clean and happy now with his husband and his babies. He would NEVER go back to drugs. He didn't trust his dad. Layne was so angry.

He started sobbing loudly in the hall. He replayed the message again, sobbing, a pain in his chest. He fucking hated him. He fucking hated Phil.

Something inside of Layne snapped. He saw rage, he saw fury. He couldn't control himself as he started to have a nervous breakdown. He ripped the answering machine out of the wall and threw it down the hall, it hitting against the wall, making a loud noise and knocking things over.

Layne cried hysterically as he thought about all the shit Phil had put him through.

He ran through the house, up the stairs as he cried hysterically, trying to get away from the kids as he had his nervous breakdown. He was angry as he came into the bedroom, slamming the door closed, screaming obscenities to himself, throwing shit around.

He punched the mirror in his bedroom he was so angry, his knuckles bleeding. He fell to the floor in a mess, hands over his face, sobbing hysterically. He had no right. Layne was terrified. He didn't want to be bothered by anyone. Only the people he allowed in his life, those were the only ones who had the right to speak to him, and that was only a handful of people. Phil wasn't one of them. How the fuck did he get his number? Layne screamed and got up, getting a lamp and throwing it across the room, it shattering.

* * *

Shannon was working on a song when his phone started ringing. He stopped what he was doing to look at it. It was home. He furrowed his brows, turning around in his chair, putting a finger in his ear and the phone to his other ear.

"Layne?" He asked.

"...Daddy!" Laina cried into the phone.

"Laina? Honey...Laina what's wrong?" Shannon asked, heart racing.

He got up, quickly walking into the hall, pacing back and forth.

"Daddy...daddy Layne's crazy!" Laina cried.

"What honey? What are you talking about? Is everything okay sweetie?" Shannon asked.

He could have sworn he heard more crying in the background.

"No! Daddy he's breaking things, he's crying. I don't know what to do. Daddy I'm scared. Daddy please come home I'm scared! I think somethings wrong with daddy Layne's brain!" Laina cried.

"What? Baby baby just take your brothers and sit tight, I'm coming home okay?" Shannon exclaimed, heart racing.

"Please hurry up daddy, we're scared!" Laina sobbed.

Shannon hung up the phone. He yelled at the intern.

"Rodney! I got an emergency! I gotta go! Finish this up!" Shannon screamed before running out of the studio.

He was shaky as he got in his car and started for home. He sighed as he steered with one hand and ran his hands through his hair with the other. He didn't understand what was going on, he didn't understand what Laina was crying about. Just that something was wrong with Layne and the children were scared. Shannon was scared as well.

He arrived home in a matter of minutes. He rushed out of the car, slamming the door and ran on the porch and tried to open the door but it was locked. He shakily fumbled, dropping his keys as he was trying to unlock the door. He finally did and he rushed in the house, looking around.

"Layne!? Kids!?" He screamed.

"Daddy!"

He heard Laina's cries. Shannon turned to see the kids on the couch, hugging each other, crying. Shannon ran over to the babies and kneeled down in front of the couch, reaching out and rubbing their faces.

"You guys okay? Where's Layne?" Shannon asked.

"Daddy Layne's upstairs..." Laina cried.

The twins sobbed as well. Shannon pulled the children into a group hug.

"I'm sorry guys, I'm here now, it's gonna be okay. I'll go see what's going on okay? It's gonna be okay, I swear. I love you guys..." Shannon sighed, kissing their cheeks.

He sighed, getting up and walking around downstairs. He noticed that the answering machine had been ripped out of the wall and thrown down the hall, and things were overturned on the floor.

"What the fuck..." Shannon mumbled to himself.

He rushed to the stairs.

"Layne!? Layne babe!?" Shannon called as he rushed up the stairs.

When he got upstairs, he could hear loud sobs coming from the bedroom they shared. Shannon's heart was racing. He ran over to the bedroom and pushed the door open.

"Layne? Lay-OH MY GOD! Layne!" Shannon exclaimed running in.

His husband was laying on the bed, arm bloody. The room was a mess, the mirror was broken, shards on the floor, a broken lamp was on the floor, drawers were pulled out and clothes were everywhere.

"Layne...what the fuck is going on!? I don't understand babe...the children called me scared to death....what...why?" Shannon stuttered.

It was obvious that Layne had tore the room up. Shannon didn't understand Layne's behavior. Layne was laying on the bed a mess, crying, tears pouring down his red face.

"Shanny...I'm sorry, I'm so fucking sorry...I'm horrible..." Layne sobbed.

Shannon grabbed Layne's arm, trying to see if he was seriously hurt. He saw cuts on his husband's knuckles. He didn't see anything else.

Shannon's eyes started to tear up.

"Layne...why did you do this? Tell me what's going on, you've scared the children! What the hell is going on!?" Shannon cried.

Layne's heart broke. He felt sick to his stomach. He hated himself for the way he had reacted. He couldn't control himself.

"Shannon I'm sorry. I'll clean everything up...I'm sorry..." Layne sobbed.

Shannon sniffled, tugging on Layne. Layne cried as he sat up and Shannon wrapped his arms around his husband.

"Tell me what's wrong Layne...please...I'm fucking scared..." Shannon sobbed.

Layne pressed his forehead to Shannon's, running a bloody hand through Shannon's hair.

"My fucking dad called Shannon...I fucking hate him...why did he fucking call this house...Shannon I'm sorry, I just snapped...I fucking hate him..." Layne could barely get the words out as he choked up crying.

Shannon's presence calmed him down. Shannon shushed him.

"Layne babe...Layne, I'm so sorry...you don't need to act this way over this...you have children now...we'll get to the bottom of this later...are you okay Layne? Are you gonna be okay?" Shannon nearly whispered.

"I don't know Shanny...I feel so fucked up...I don't want anything from the past coming back to my new life with you and the babies...Shannon please protect me...Shannon please...I'm sorry I scared the babies...I"m sorry for the mess...I'm sorry!"

Layne was getting hysterical again. Shannon sighed, hugging his husband tight.

"Layne it's okay. I'm here, I'm gonna protect you...no one's gonna hurt you anymore...it's gonna be okay. I swear to you babe...you're alright, I'm here now."

Shannon rocked Layne back and forth, sighing, closing his eyes.

He knew about Layne's dad. Layne had confided in him before, that was back at rehab. Shannon could remember some of the details, not all of them. Shannon sighed.

Layne needed some help. This was crazy how Layne had tore things up over his father calling. Layne needed counseling. Shannon didn't want the kids to ever witness their father acting this way ever again.

Layne was such a good father. It broke Shannon's heart that the kids had to see him like this. Layne held onto Shannon for dear life as he sobbed.

"I hate him Shannon. He was never a father to me. He fucking left me. Everything was his fault...everything. If it wasn't for him, I wouldn't have almost died...." Layne rambled on, sobbing loudly.

"I know, I know Layne. Things worked out this way for a reason. I love you so much. I love you so much." Shannon kissed Layne's cheek.

Eventually, Layne became really tired and laid down on the bed. Shannon sighed, running his fingers through Layne's hair as Layne fell asleep, exhausted from his breakdown.

Shannon got up, calling his mother. The kids would be staying with her for a few days so they could work this daddy issue thing out with Layne.

Shannon arranged things with his mom, got the kids ready, and shipped them off to his mother's house. Once the kids were gone, he cleaned up Layne's mess around the house.

He got the answering machine and plugged it back up, replaying the message.

 

__  
Uh...I hope this is the right number, I'm not sure. Layne, is this Layne Staley's residence? If so, Layne, it's me, your father, Phil Staley. Layne, I know, I know we haven't been on the greatest terms...Layne please just call me. I want to get to know you son...I know this is random and, just please give me a call. Talk to me son. I swear this time, this time it's different. I've been thinking about you and it took me a long time to track you down...please, I just want to talk to you. I hear you've got kids now Layne...my grandkids...Layne I'd love to meet them. Layne please don't ignore me, please don't be angry with me. I'm hoping we can talk, we can just bury the hatchet...we're both clean now, at the same time, I want a relationship with you son. Please, just, please call me...Here's my number....call anytime, I'd love to speak with you. We don't have to do anything but speak for now...okay well, bye son.  


"Oh boy..." Shannon sighed to himself.

His poor sweet Layne. Layne had been through so much in his life. Why the fuck did his father want to do this shit now. Layne wasn't ready to fucking face this. Shannon supposed Layne would have to. The guy sounded like he really wanted to see Layne.

This would be his last fucking chance. If he did anything to hurt Layne, anything at all, Shannon would see to it that he never fucking heard from Layne ever again.

The hardest part would be getting Layne to talk to the guy. Shannon would see about getting Layne a shrink. Layne obviously had this pent up inside of him for a while. Shannon didn't like that. He was concerned about his husband. His husband needed to free himself of every demon. Drugs were gone but this one needed to be dealt with.

Shannon sighed, going back upstairs where Layne was sleeping. He got more comfortable and laid on the bed, spooning Layne. Layne woke up and turned around, throwing an arm over Shannon's torso and crying lightly into his chest. Shannon sighed, holding Layne tight.

"It's gonna be okay Layne. I'm gonna protect you..." Shannon whispered again.


	2. Perfect Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Layne...I think you should really talk to someone. Yesterday was crazy babe..." Shannon started. "I'm alright Shannon. I swear. Yesterday...I'm sorry about yesterday. I should have had more self control. I'm fine, really Shannon. I promise I'm okay. I don't need to go talk to some stranger about feelings." Layne replied.

Shannon woke up the next morning and sat up, stretching. He yawned and looked around the room. Layne wasn't there. He sighed and sat on the edge of the bed, rubbing his face.

He sighed when he thought about what had happened the previous day. He had to go back in to the studio. He had a job to do right now. He prayed that Layne's dad didn't fucking call again anytime soon. Shannon stood up and stretched. He put some lounge shorts on and went out of their bedroom, wrapping his arms around his chest as he walked downstairs. He heard the clinking of dishes in the kitchen. The house was really quiet without the kids there.

"Layne babe?" Shannon said softly as he walked into the kitchen.

Layne was emptying the dishwasher. He was dressed already. He looked back and smiled warmly at Shannon.

"Morning Shanny..."

Layne walked up to Shannon and Shannon wrapped his arms around his husband. He was still worried about him. Layne smiled and softly kissed Shannon's lips, keeping his nose pressed against Shannon's, arms wrapped around him.

"You doing okay?" Shannon said softly as they rubbed their noses together.

"Yeah, I'm alright..." Layne smiled softly, kissing Shannon again.

Layne's hands fell to Shannon's hips, and he slid them around to Shannon's ass, squeezing. Shannon bit his lip and laughed lightly, stepping away from Layne, holding onto his wrists.

"Layne, I have to get ready to go to the studio..." Shannon blushed.

"You slept sort of late. I let you sleep, I know it's rare these days. The kid's are at your moms, so I figured I'd just let you sleep. Are you hungry? Do you want me to whip you something up before you go?" Layne said softly.

"Nah. I'll stop and get something on the way babe. Layne are you gonna look around the phone book and make an appointment with a therapist?" Shannon came out and asked, holding onto Layne's hands by now.

Layne furrowed his brows at Shannon.

"No." He bit his lip.

"Layne...I think you should really talk to someone. Yesterday was crazy babe..." Shannon started.

"I'm alright Shannon. I swear. Yesterday...I'm sorry about yesterday. I should have had more self control. I'm fine, really Shannon. I promise I'm okay. I don't need to go talk to some stranger about feelings." Layne replied.

"But Layne, I think you really need to talk about this. Don't keep this shit bottled up. I don't want you snapping and breaking shit again in front of the kids..." Shannon pouted.

Layne stepped back up to Shannon, looking into his eyes.

"Shanny...I'm sorry. I promise I won't. I'm fine, honest. If I need to talk about it, I can talk to you for free. You already know the deal pretty much. I'm really okay Shannon. I swear." Layne pleaded.

Shannon looked at Layne unsure. He couldn't make his hubby do anything. Layne smiled and kissed Shannon's lips again. He pulled away, pursing his lips and smiling, looking into Shannon's eyes.

"What if he calls again Layne, leaves another message?" Shannon frowned.

Layne sighed, putting his hands on Shannon's cheeks. He looked straight into his eyes.

"Babe. I swear to you I'm fine. If he calls again, I might answer the phone if I can get it on time and tell him to fuck off. I thought about what happened yesterday. I feel really bad about it. It won't happen again. I swear. I'm okay. I'm not crazy. I'm fine. Don't worry Shanny, honest..."

Shannon sighed and put his hands on Layne's hands. He brought them down and held them again, looking down and then back up at Layne.

"Well alright then. Why don't you go get the kids and bring them back home then?"

"Why don't they just stay over there one more night, and you and I can have the house to ourselves for one night..." Layne smiled warmly.

Shannon's eyes widened. He smirked. He never thought about that. The Phil thing was for now, forgotten.

"Wait...that's actually a pretty good idea. Mom won't mind keeping them. She loves them..." Shannon smirked.

He and Layne embraced. They started kissing again, making out in the middle of the kitchen. After a few minutes, Shannon pulled away.

"Layne...you're a fucking tease! I need to get ready to go to work...fuck!"

Layne chuckled lightly. Shannon smirked and then turned around and went back upstairs to their bedroom to get ready to go to work. He took his shower and he got dressed in his usual attire, baggy blue jeans and a button up shirt. He put his beige hat on and grabbed his cell phone, his wallet and his keys and made his way out.

Layne met him at the door. Shannon wrapped his arms around him and hugged him.

"You're gonna be okay right?" Shannon asked again, looking into his eyes.

"Yes Shannon...yes! Stop worrying babe..." Layne sighed and smiled.

"What are you gonna do while I'm working?" Shannon asked, pouting.

"MMM clean up a bit, gonna go out and get a new mirror..." Layne smiled.

Shannon laughed lightly. They embraced again, shared one last kiss and told each other they loved one another, and Shannon was out the door, getting in his Galaxie, on the way to stop and get something to eat and then go into work.

He sighed as he drove. He was still slightly worried about Layne. He then thought about the fact that they would have the house to themselves that night. That put a smile on his face.

He stopped and got a bagel and a coffee and continued making his way to his studio, just in time to meet with the band he was producing there. He set to work, with Layne in the back of his mind.

* * *

Rodney was sitting beside Shannon. Shannon was showing him how to use the mix board. Rodney was a pretty smart kid. Shannon patted his back and smiled, swinging around in his chair and getting up and going out into the hall, leaving Rodney to do a bit of producing for a few minutes. Shannon took out his cell phone to call his husband. His heart raced as the house phone rang and rang and he got the answering machine.

Shannon ended the call and then dialed Layne's cell phone number. It rang a few times and his body pooled with warmth as he heard his husband's voice.

"Helloo?" Layne said slowly and seductively.

"Layne? How are you doing babe?" Shannon asked into the phone, biting his lip.

"I'm fine Shannon. How are you doing?" Layne asked, chuckling a bit.

"Fine. Things are going smoothly. The band was arguing a bit earlier but they sorted it out. What are you doing? Are you at home?" Shannon asked, running his hand through his short, choppy locks.

"No. I'm in town getting us a new mirror babe..." Layne chuckled.

"Oh, cool. So um...you're doing okay right?" Shannon asked softly.

"Shannon...jesus babe...I've told you a million times today, I'm fine! Stop worrying about me!" Layne exclaimed into the phone.

"I know, I know, I can't help it. You didn't get any strange calls did you?" Shannon asked.

"No Shannon. Babe you worry too much. I'm gonna make all you're worries go away this evening when you get home." Layne smirked into the phone. "What time are you gonna be done?"

"Not sure, might be here until 8 tonight. I'll call and let you know." Shannon smiled.

"How many more times are you gonna call me today babe? I am okay Shannon. I'm fine. I'm happy. I shouldn't dwell on shit from the past. I am way past that. I got you and the kids now. You guys are my life. We're perfect. You're perfect Shannon. I'm so in love with you..." Layne smiled into the phone.

"Aw babe...I love you too. I don't know, I'll call you again in a few hours. I just need to know you're okay. I'm gonna get going now. Can't leave the intern in there too long by himself." Shannon smiled into the phone.

"Kay babe." Layne smiled into the phone.

They said their goodbyes and Shannon ended the call on his cell phone, putting it in his pocket and standing there, sighing and smiling to himself. He went back into the studio, exclaiming Rodney's name, slapping him on the back, scaring the shit out of him.

* * *

Later that day

Shannon was curious as to what Layne had planned for them that night since the kids weren't there. When he got home, he walked into the house, quickly locking the front door behind him.

"Layne!" Shannon called as he began to make his way to the staircase.

"Layne I'm home babe! Where are you!?" Shannon yelled.

"In the bedroom babe!" Layne called.

Shannon smirked as he made his way to their bedroom. He started unbuttoning his shirt before he even got into the room. Once Shannon got in the room, he gasped.

He blushed as he looked at their bed. It was made up with dark red, silky sheets. There were rose petals sprinkled all over the bed.

"Layne what have you done?" Shannon smiled as he began getting undressed.

He could hear bathwater being ran from their bathroom.

"Do you like the bed babe?" He heard Layne's voice.

"Fuck yes." Shannon smiled as he got undressed.

As soon as his last article of clothing was off, Layne spoke again.

"Come in the bathroom babe..." Layne called.

Shannon walked into their spacious bathroom. They had a huge, circular, white porcelain tub in the corner of the bathroom. Layne stood there, stark naked. He turned around, smiling warmly at Shannon. He held his arms out and Shannon walked over to him, face red as they embraced.

"How was your day?" Layne asked softly, hands roaming Shannon's skin.

Shannon sighed and relaxed into Layne as he started placing soft kisses to Shannon's neck. The bathroom smelled lovely. He noticed there were bubbles in the water. The bathroom smelled like lavender.

"It was alright...but I'm glad I'm finally home...what do you have planned?" Shannon smirked, sighing.

"A warm bath...and then lovemaking on the bed..." Layne nearly whispered, sucking on Shannon's earlobe.

"Layne..." Shannon moaned, shuddering as Layne cupped his face and sucked on his earlobe.

Shannon sighed, eyes heavy when Layne pulled away. He opened his eyes and Layne smiled warmly, taking his hand. The two men stepped into the bubbly bath, sitting down. The water was just the way the both men preferred, as hot as it could get without burning the skin. Steam pooled off of the water as they sat in the tub.

"This feels so fucking good Layne...thanks..." Shannon sighed as he dipped down in the tub, submerging himself under the bubbles and water for a second, coming back up and rubbing his face, rubbing his hair back.

Layne smirked and tilted his head, doing what Shannon did. His curls disappeared when he came back up, wiping his face and slicking his hair back with his hands as well. Shannon relaxed against the edge of the tub, a content smirk on his face. This was nice, sitting here with his husband in the warm tub. The smell of lavender was relaxing and it soothed his muscles.

Suddenly as his eyes were closed, he felt the water slosh back and forth as Layne scooted closer to him. He felt Layne's arm wrap around his stomach. He let out a slow, deep breath when he felt Layne's lips connecting to his neck. He tilted his head so Layne could get better access.

A soft moan escaped Shannon's pouty lips as Layne sucked on the tender, wet flesh of his neck. Layne had his arms wrapped around Shannon's torso, turned slightly in the water, placing gentle kisses along Shannon's neck, stopping to suck on the flesh in various places. He trailed his lips up to Shannon's ear, sucking the lobe into his mouth. He sucked it fast and hard, a smirk playing on his lips as the water splashed as Shannon gasped and squirmed, holding onto Layne's arm that was wrapped around his stomach. Layne kept his grip tight on Shannon so he couldn't escape.

Shannon whimpered, shrugging his shoulder, moaning lightly as Layne continued. Layne let out a soft laugh, Shannon's earlobe between his teeth. He tugged on it lightly as he pulled away, licking his lips.

"Fuck Layne...you tease..." Shannon nearly whispered as he looked over at his husband.

"Let's kiss." Layne whispered.

They moved around the tub, sitting in the middle of the bubbly water, legs bent at the knees and intertwined together, hands trailing moist skin as they pressed their lips together, starting out with soft, gentle kisses.

"I love you so fucking much..." Layne whispered against Shannon's lips.

"Love you too..." Shannon sighed as their kisses started getting deeper.

Shannon moaned as Layne started kissing his bottom lip, taking it between his lips. Layne's hands trailed up and down Shannon's back as they sit, intertwined together.

"Fuck babe..." Shannon moaned against Layne's lips as Layne ran his tongue along Shannon's lower lip.

Layne moved his moist, dripping wet hands up to Shannon's face and cupped it as he gently pushed his tongue into his husband's mouth. Shannon sighed into the kiss, reaching his hands up to wrap them around Layne's wrists. He tilted his head as their tongues moved together gently, slowly, sweetly.

Steam still pooled from the hot bath around them as they made out. Layne's hair was falling into his eyes, water dripping from the tips and down his face like tears.

After a few minutes of soft, sensual tongue caressing, Layne pulled away, slicking his hair back again, blinking slowly, looking at Shannon.

Shannon's eyes were heavy. He was so relaxed. His lips were red and kiss swollen, mouth still slightly agape. He slowly opened his eyes, half lidded, looking at Layne.

"Oh my god Layne, that was so sexy..." Shannon sighed, smiling warmly.

"You're so sexy..." Layne smiled, licking his lips. "I wanna give you a massage babe. You've been working so hard all day. You deserve a massage."

Shannon didn't refuse that. They were silent as they moved around again, this time Layne's long legs stretched out and Shannon sitting between them, his legs stretched out as well. Shannon cupped some of the warm water, throwing it on his face and hair, slicking his hair back again and sighing.

Layne ran his hands up and down Shannon's back, squeezing the skin with his hands as he moved up and down, staring at the tattoos that adorned his husband's back. Shannon sighed, eyes closed and leaned forward slightly as Layne worked his lower back, kneading the skin in his hands underwater.

A series of deep breaths escaped Shannon's lips. He rubbed his forehead. He felt so relaxed in here with Layne. This was quiet and nice.

Layne chuckled lightly as he worked Shannon's back.

"Feel good babe?" Layne smiled.

"Yeah...so good..." Shannon nearly whispered.

Layne smiled, trailing his hands up Shannon's back, out of the water and up to his shoulders. He rubbed up and down Shannon's shoulders and neck. He ran his hands up to the back of Shannon's head, massaging the skin.

Shannon couldn't help but let out a low moan as he leaned back into Layne's touch, his head moving back and forth as Layne worked him. He was a sucker for a head massage. Shannon felt so fucking relaxed, he thought he would pass out. His eyes were heavy and he felt so relaxed and content.

He smiled when he heard Layne's chuckles. He pouted when Layne stopped, trailing his hands to Shannon's shoulders. A smile returned to his lips again as Layne started massaging his shoulders.

"Oh my god Layne...that's so fucking good. I fucking love it." Shannon moaned, arching his back slightly.

Layne was very good with his hands. He knew all the ways to make Shannon feel good. Shannon loved it. Shannon relaxed under his touch, eyes heavy, mind going blank. It was just he and Layne, in this lovely, warm atmosphere. He was nearly falling asleep.

"Shanny? Baby? Shanny!" Layne called after a while, rubbing his shoulders. "Baby you awake?" He giggled.

"Huh? Yeah, fuck yeah, you done with the massage?" Shannon asked, lifting his head up, eyes heavy, glancing over his shoulder at his lover.

"Yeah babe. I'm starting to prune, let's go to the bed." Layne smiled warmly.

"Alright..." Shannon yawned, stretching.

Water splashed as they moved around and stood up. Layne pulled the plug on the drain and the water started to go down. They stepped out, still suddy from the bubbles, but not caring. They quickly dried off and walked out into the bedroom, holding hands.

They didn't have to close and lock their bedroom door. There were no curious children in the house that night. Layne lightly pushed Shannon back on the bed. Shannon fell back on the bed in a light thud, arms thrown over his head, some of the petals on the bed bouncing slightly on impact. He looked up at Layne as Layne crawled on the bed, straddling Shannon, hands on either side of him, flat on the bed. He leaned down, kissing his husband's lips.

"Layne, mmm babe..." Shannon moaned against Layne's lips.

Layne started grinding himself against Shannon as he kissed him with the gentle kisses.

Shannon moaned against Layne's lips, their tongues finally meeting with each kiss. Layne kept his forehead pressed to Shannon's, their noses touching as he grinded his husband slowly.

He spoke against Shannon's lips, their lips brushing together.

"Tonight's about you babe. I fucking love you so much. I appreciate you so much. You fucking saved me. You fucking protect me. I love you so fucking much. I owe you every thing Shannon Hoon. Tell me. Tell me what it is you want me to do. I'll do anything to you. Anything you want." Layne said softly, kissing Shannon's lips.

Shannon's chest pooled with warmth. This whole thing was romantic. Layne was so fucking romantic. The love he felt for his husband was through the roof right about then. He could feel the heat all over his body. His toes curled. He loved the feeling of their skin together, soft and touching.

Layne continued to kiss Shannon's lips as Shannon was silent. Finally, Shannon moaned against Layne's lips.

"I wanna fuck you." He whispered loudly.

Layne laughed lightly, nuzzling his nose into Shannon's.

"But first..." Shannon sighed as they kissed.

"First, I want you to fuck me." Shannon breathed.

"I can do that." Layne laughed lightly against Shannon's mouth.

He moved his lips to the other side of Shannon's neck, sucking on the flesh. Shannon brought his arms down to hold onto Layne's waist as he grinded him.

Shannon arched his back, biting his lip.

"I want you to fuck me with your tongue Layne." Shannon breathed.

"Hmm?" Layne asked, lifting up and looking down at his husband, straight into his eyes.

"I want you to stuck your tongue in me. I want you to fuck me with your tongue, then I'm gonna fuck you." Shannon blushed, looking up at his husband.

"Anything you want. I'll do anything for you." Layne bit his lip, looking down at Shannon.

They looked at each other and laughed lightly. They shifted around the bed. Petals were matted all over Shannon's back and ass as he turned on all fours, arranging the pillows so he could rest against them comfortably.

Layne grabbed the lube, brushing the petals from his bum. Layne popped open the cap of the lube. He poured some on his fingers. He was on his knees and he leaned forward, his erection pressing against Shannon's ass as he stuck his fingers towards Shannon's mouth.

"Taste this babe..." Layne smiled.

Shannon furrowed his brows slightly, looking at Layne's fingers but then slowly wrapped his lips around them, sucking the liquid off of Layne's fingers. He moaned lightly as he slowly pulled off, licking his lips.

"MMM, cherry, right?" Shannon smirked, looking over his shoulder.

"Yeah...it's flavored lube..." Layne blushed.

"So many surprises tonight..." Shannon smiled warmly.

Layne smiled as he put the lube on his first two fingers. He leaned down, pressing kisses on Shannon's cheeks before slowly working his fingers in Shannon's opening. Shannon arched his back and gasped at the contact. He bit his lip, eyes falling closed as he sit there on all fours, hands flat on the bed in front of the pillows.

"I love when you're inside of me..." Shannon moaned, pushing back on Layne's fingers.

Layne thrusted his fingers in and out, smiling and watching the reactions from his husband.

"I think that's good enough Layne, put your tongue in there, please..." Shannon moaned after a few minutes.

Layne chuckled to himself, pulling his fingers out, putting them in his mouth and tasting the mixture of the lube and his husband. He pulled them out of his mouth, making a loud popping noise and he shifted around, getting more comfortable. He laughed lightly as he grabbed Shannon's cheeks, squeezing them sensually and rubbing his hands up and down the flesh.

Shannon moaned, pushing back against his husband's touch. Layne pulled his cheeks apart, eyes moving along his crevice to his stretched hole. Layne smiled, leaning down, darting his tongue out as he ran it down Shannon's crevice. Shannon rested against the pillows now, burying his face into them, his hands on top of his head. He shivered as he felt Layne's tongue moving along his crevice.

Layne's eyes fell closed as he explored familiar skin blindly, with his moist tongue. He ran it over Shannon's puckered hole. Shannon moaned lightly when he felt Layne's tongue run over it. He sighed as he felt Layne's tongue move down further to his peritoneum. Layne prodded it with his tongue, licking the tender skin that separated his testicles and anus gently. Shannon shifted slightly. Layne squeezed Shannon's cheeks as he tasted his skin.

"Layne please...don't tease...put it in me..." Shannon moaned.

Layne laughed lightly, sliding his tongue back up, going over Shannon's hole again, tongue darting past it again and back up his crevice. Layne pressed kisses to Shannon's lower back when he got up there, eyes darting up to see his husband's shoulders flinching.

"Layne this is torture. Don't torture me, please..." Shannon said softly.

His tone of voice tugged at Layne's heart strings. Layne decided to be a good boy and he darted his tongue out again, holding Shannon's cheeks apart again, squeezing. He closed his eyes as he guided his tongue down and to the hole. He held his tongue out as far as it would go and he started to prod his husband's hole, sticking it in and out, moaning lightly.

"MMM holy fuck, that's what I want...oh god you're so good with your tongue babe, I swear!" Shannon moaned, throwing his head back, lifting himself up again.

He pressed back on Layne's tongue, mouth agape, practically drooling. He loved when Layne tongue fucked him. Layne had a long, pretty tongue.

Layne sighed as he continued to use his tongue, pushing it against Shannon's opening, and in as far as it would go. He pulled it out, switching from rimming him to tongue prodding.

He pulled off, pursing his lips and stuck a finger inside of Shannon, pressing it in and out, kissing his cheek, sucking on the flesh, leaving a hickey on one of Shannon's most intimate places. He was marking his husband as his own.

"Fuck Layne, that's so good. I wanna cum so bad..." Shannon moaned.

"Fuck me and cum..." Layne breathed against Shannon's ass.

He quickly shoved his tongue back in Shannon's opening again. Shannon let out a moan.

Layne opened his eyes, tongue still hanging out of his mouth as Shannon pulled away. Layne sat up on his knees, wiping his mouth and watching Shannon.

Shannon was so hard. He needed a release. He grabbed the lube. He didn't even have to tell Layne as Layne laid against the pillows, holding his legs up for his husband. He was ready to please his husband in anyway he wanted.

Shannon quickly straddled Layne, following a similar routine, shoving two sticky lubed fingers inside of Layne's anus, moving them around and stretching him. Shannon bit his lip as he shoved his fingers inside of his husband, looking down into Layne's eyes.

Layne's pretty blue eyes watched Shannon's, a lustful smirk on his face. Shannon sniffled and pulled his fingers out and looked down, grabbing the lube again. Layne looked down and watched as Shannon coated himself, stroking his already wet cock.

Shannon replaced Layne's hands, holding Layne's legs up as he pressed his hard cock against Layne's ass. He was so hard he didn't have to guide himself. He looked down, licking his lips as he pressed himself against Layne's anus.

He thrusted forward, pushing on the backs of Layne's knees as he slowly pushed himself in. Layne moved up slightly, eyes closed, brows furrowed, mouth agape as a sweet moan escaped his pouty lips. He loved it when Shannon filled him up.

Layne smiled to himself as Shannon began to fuck him. He lay there, the curls in his hair forming again as it dried, staring up at his husband as he fucked him.

Shannon's brows were furrowed slightly as he pushed into Layne, lips pursed as he looked down at him. Shannon was so sexy to Layne as he fucked, his strong, tattooed arms holding his long legs up so he could have access to what was his.

They stared into each other's eyes for a moment, until Shannon's fluttered close, a moan escaping his lips.

"So tight...always....feels good..." Shannon breathed as he moved against him.

Layne sighed and arched his back, letting out a soft giggle, moving his arms up and down the bed. He grabbed some of the rose petals and showered them over his chest before raising his arms over his head, wrapping one of his hands over his elbow as he bit his lip, closing his eyes and enjoying the feeling of his husband fucking him.

"I'm gonna cum..." Shannon breathed as he started speeding up his thrusts.

Layne brought a hand down to his mouth, sucking on his finger as he watched Shannon in the heat of passion. Shannon's brows were furrowed, his eyes shut tight, his mouth opening and closing as he moaned.

Layne's legs dangled with each thrust.

"cum for me Shannon. Just for me. You fuck me so good. It feels so good..." Layne moaned, teasing his husband.

"Fuck!" Shannon gasped, his face turning red as he gripped Layne's legs tightly

He tensed up, back arching as he shook against Layne as he came, spilling himself inside of his lover.

Layne moaned, pulling his finger out of his mouth as he felt the warm liquid inside of him. Shannon kept his eyes closed as he thrusted a few more times before pulling out, on his knees, breathing hard, looking down at his husband.

He smiled warmly as he breathed, running a hand through his messy hair.

Layne smiled at Shannon, putting his finger back in his mouth, snaking his free hand down to his erection.

No words were spoken as Shannon moved around on the bed, laying on his side beside Layne, flower petals sticking to his sweaty skin. Layne's eyes fell closed as he stroked himself, sucking on his own finger.

Shannon watched curiously, throwing an arm around his husband's stomach, kissing his temple and resting his head against Layne's as he looked down at Layne stroking his rosy cock.

Shannon wanted to watch as Layne came but he couldn't resist. He started kissing Layne's cheek. He smirked as he reached over, pulling Layne's finger from his mouth. He pulled his face to his and pressed his lips to Layne's diving his tongue into his mouth. Layne moaned against Shannon's mouth as their tongues battled. Layne was a pool against Shannon.

Shannon silently snaked his hand down Layne's long torso and down to his cock. Layne dropped his hand as Shannon took over, stroking his husband with ease.

"Now I want you to cum for me..." Shannon whispered, before reconnecting his lips to Layne's.

Shannon stroked him sensually, thumbing the tip. He laughed against Layne's mouth as Layne moaned.

"Faster please hubby, faster..." Layne moaned, pulling away for a second.

Shannon complied, sighing against Layne's mouth as he stroked him faster, Layne's precum making his fist move up and down with ease. Eventually Layne started bucking his hips up into Shannon's fist. Shannon knew he was close. He laughed softly against Layne's mouth, prodding his tongue against Layne's the way that Layne had been prodding his tongue against his asshole. He smiled as they kissed, lips brushing together as Layne came. Their faces lingered close together as Layne moaned, eyes shut tight. Shannon looked down as he stroked Layne, Layne shaking as he bucked his hips and the white liquid shot out of his tip like a spouting water fountain. Shannon fucking loved it.

"So hot..." He whispered, kissing Layne's temple.

Layne rested against Shannon, brows furrowed, eyes closed, breathing heavy as he relaxed.

Shannon rubbed his chest, moving the petals around.

The two men lay there, relaxed and content with the world at that very moment.

"This was a great idea Layne." Shannon sighed after minutes of silence.

"Yeah, it was." Layne sighed and smiled.

Shannon leaned over and kissed his husband again.

"You're the best thing that ever happened to me Shannon. You're the only person in my life who hasn't fucked me over. I'm so glad I'm married to you. You're the only one who matters to me..." Layne sighed and smiled, stroking Shannon's cheek.

Shannon smiled, holding Layne's hand and staring down at him.

Things were so perfect between them. They weren't even thinking about the previous day's events anymore. Tomorrow the children would be home and they would continue on with their wonderful lives.


	3. Family Is Everything

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Don't hang up, please." Shannon furrowed his brows, putting the phone back to his ear. "Excuse me?" He asked. "Is this Layne Staley's residence?" The voice asked.

Things had pretty much returned to normal in the Staley-Hoon household. The kids were back home and they were a happy family again. The kids didn't seem to be phased by having to stay with grandma for a couple days. When they went to pick the kids up, the kids were excited to see their dads.

* * *

Layne had taken the kids out to see a movie. Shannon didn't feel like going. He was sitting on their bed in the bedroom, acoustic guitar around him. He was slowly but surely getting back into music again. Lately he had been feeling inspired.

He felt like he hadn't sang a song, seriously, in years. Not since he opened his studio. Sure, sometimes he sang background vocals on some of the people's records that he produced, but he had sort of pushed his talent to the curve once he had gotten off drugs and started his studio.

He had a 4 track tape recorder sitting in front of him on the bed. He was fumbling around on the guitar. He hadn't written anything yet. He was just experimenting. He had just recorded himself playing a song on his acoustic guitar and singing. It was easier to do things like this when he was alone and the kids and Layne weren't bothering him.

He strummed his guitar idly, sitting there and staring at the 4 track tape recorder. He was kind of scared to hear the playback. He didn't know how it was gonna turn out. He took his guitar off, setting it beside him on the bed and grabbed his 4 track, holding it in his hands and stared down at it for a while before he rewinded the tape and pressed play.

He blushed as he heard his voice.

"Um, Okay, here goes... a one, a two, a three..."

He could hear himself strumming his guitar and he started singing the song he was playing.

He kept his eyes closed tight as he listened to his voice against the acoustic guitar. He slowly opened his eyes, staring down at his recorder. It wasn't that bad really. He still had it.

__  
I rode my bicycle past your window last night  
I roller-skated to your door at daylight  
It almost seems like you're avoiding me  
I'm okay alone, but you got something I need 

_Well, I got a brand new pair of roller skates_  
You got a brand new key  
I think that we should get together  
And try them out to see  
I been looking around awhile  
You got something for me  
Oh, I got a brand new pair of roller skates  
You got a brand new key 

_I ride my bike, I roller skate don't drive no car_  
Don't go too fast, but I go pretty far  
For somebody who don't drive  
I been all around the world  


Shannon smiled to himself, fumbling with the controls that was on his little 4 track recorder. He was starting to bob his head to the beat of the song he was singing when suddenly the piercing sound of the house phone ringing startled him.

He jumped, cursing to himself as he stopped the tape, setting the 4 track in front of him on the bed. He picked the phone up carelessly that was on his nightstand near his side of the bed and he answered.

"Hello?"

He waited, and he couldn't hear anything on the other end.

"Hellooo?" He said again.

He furrowed his brows as he waited for someone to speak. He thought he could hear the faint noise of a television in the background.

"Hello is anyone there?" Shannon said one more time, waiting for a few seconds.

He frowned, slamming the phone back down.

"The fuck was that about..." He frowned, grabbing his 4 track again and turning it back on, continuing to listen to the song that he had just recorded himself playing.

He smiled to himself. He could still sing. Maybe he would think about writing some original stuff pretty soon.

Suddenly the phone started to ring again and Shannon groaned, cutting the 4 track off again and setting it down, leaning over and grabbing the phone.

"Hello?" He said again.

There was silence again and Shannon definitely heard a television in the background this time. He frowned. If it was one thing he couldn't fucking stand, it was someone playing on his fucking phone.

"Listen, I don't know who the fuck this is, but you better quit calling my fucking house. You must have the wrong number, stop calling here!" Shannon spat into the phone.

He was about to hang up but suddenly he heard a gruff voice.

"Don't hang up, please."

Shannon furrowed his brows, putting the phone back to his ear.

"Excuse me?" He asked.

"Is this Layne Staley's residence?" The voice asked.

Shannon's heart started beating fast. He sat up on the bed, phone pressed to his ear. He swallowed hard. He frowned.

"Well who the fuck's asking? Who is this, and how did you get this fucking number?" Shannon frowned.

He was pissed that someone would just randomly call his house and ask about his husband. It was no one's fucking business. He was thinking maybe after this he needed to get their phone number changed. He didn't want to take any chances of anyone bothering them. They had a nice and quiet life, no time for this bullshit.

"I'm his father, Phil Staley..." The voice on the other end sounded.

Shannon didn't mean to, but he gasped into the phone. He sat there, phone pressed to his ear, not knowing what to do. He was silent, his heart beat fast. He couldn't muster any words. He heard Phil speak into his ear.

"Hello? Are you still there? Are you a friend of Layne's? Does Layne live at this number?"

Shannon furrowed his brows, slowly taking the phone away from his ear and he hung it up. He sat there, rubbing his forehead. Well if that wasn't the biggest music boner killer ever. He got up off the bed and put his guitar and his 4 track away. Just as he was closing their closet doors, the phone started to ring again.

Shannon furrowed his brows, walking back over to the phone and picking it up.

"What?" He asked, without saying hello.

"Shannon? What the hell? You alright babe?"

Shannon's chest burned, his heart raced, his face was flushed. He stuttered.

"Oh, Layne, yeah, yeah I'm fine babe. Just a little frustrated about uh, something at the studio." Shannon made something up.

"Oh, well you don't usually answer the phone like that babe. Listen, we just got out of the movie babe." Layne smiled into the phone.

"Oh yeah, how was it, did the boys behave?" Shannon asked, biting his lip.

Layne started talking and Shannon's heart raced again. He could hear a beep on the phone, someone was trying to call while he was speaking to Layne. Shannon's mind was gone, it was racing.

"Shannon babe? Shanny? What do ya think?" Layne asked into the phone.

"Um, what?" Shannon asked, sighing.

"Shanny, you sure you're okay? I said the kids wanna go out for pizza. I said why don't we take a break from cooking tonight and go to the Pizzeria? We'll come back and pick you up." Layne replied.

"Oh, alright, yeah that's cool." Shannon replied.

"Good, we're on our way..." Layne replied.

Shannon could hear the kids hollering in the background.

"Ugh babe, the kids have something to tell you." Layne smirked into the phone.

Shannon smiled as he heard his babies scream into the phone.

"We love you daddy!"

Layne came back to the phone, chuckling.

"We'll be there to pick you up in a minute babe." Layne smiled.

"Okay." Shannon smiled.

They got off the phone and Shannon hung it up. He stood there, staring at the phone, heart racing.

This was fucking crazy. He had actually heard Layne's dad's voice. The man that had apparently caused Layne so much fucking pain in his life. The man that Layne had pretty much pushed aside, pretending he didn't exist. Layne wasn't even interested in getting any answers out of his dad as to why things were the way they were.

Layne's dad had somehow gotten their number. Shannon was curious and wondered if Layne's mom had given it to him. Layne didn't play any games anymore. If Layne found out, he wouldn't hesitate to cut his mom off in a second. He was really discreet about his new life and he wasn't ready to speak to anyone from the past yet. No Alice in Chains members, no old buddies from Seattle. He was barely speaking to his mom and his sister.

Shannon sighed as he walked around, putting his shoes on, changing his shirt to a nice button up shirt and washing his face, brushing his teeth and styling his hair. He splashed on some cologne to smell nice for the dinner tonight.

Shannon made his way downstairs to sit on the couch and wait for his family to arrive to pick him up. When he got downstairs, the phone started to ring again.

Shannon walked over to the phone in the hall downstairs beside the answering machine and picked it up.

"Hello?" He sighed into the phone.

"Hello? Please, please I'm begging you, don't hang up on me!"

Shannon's heart rate picked up again. He tensed. It was Phil again.

"Listen man, how the fuck did you get this number?" Shannon asked, brows furrowed.

"Please tell me if my son lives at this number! Please just tell me! Who is this? Are you a friend of Layne's? Are you his room mate?" Phil asked desperately into the phone.

Shannon was silent, unsure. Phil continued to talk.

"Please, if you know my son, please just tell him that I called and I really want to talk to him!"

Shannon was sensitive to other people's feelings. Phil's voice was cracking. Suddenly Shannon blurted something he shouldn't have.

"Oh believe me, he knows you've been calling and he's not very happy about it..."

Shannon winced, hitting himself in the forehead soon after he made that remark.

"Oh...I know, I know I haven't really been a very good father to him...I just wish he would stop this resentment and just talk to me. I just want to talk to him. I just want to know how his life's going and that he's okay. That's all I want to know." Phil sounded like he was choking up.

Shannon sighed.

"Look, I think it's best if you stop calling here. Please, don't call here ever again. I don't know how you got our number, but I'm gonna change it. Layne's not ready for this right now. He doesn't need this right now." Shannon sighed.

"Wait! Please don't hang up. I'm begging you! Just please...do you know him? Please tell me he's okay. Tell me about his life! I wanna know he's okay, if he won't speak to me, just tell me he's okay!"

Shannon stood there on the phone, silent as he listened to Layne's dad sob on the other end. He sighed, looking down.

"He's fine." Shannon said bluntly.

"Really? Is he off the drugs? How's his life? How do you know him? What's he doing?" Phil asked.

Phil was asking all of these questions. Shannon sighed. His mind was telling him no but in his heart, he felt sorry for the old man. Phil sounded lonely. He sounded sincere to Shannon. He sounded like he really missed his son.

Shannon was taking a chance here. He sighed. He had did this with Layne's mom when Layne wasn't speaking to her. Hell, he would do it with Layne's real father as well.

"Listen. I'll talk to you about Layne. I don't know how much you know about him, but I'm gonna tell you this right off the bat. If you can't accept this then you should just go the fuck away forever. You know your son, you know he's gay right?" Shannon asked.

Phil was silent. Shannon heard a sniffle.

"Ok." Phil replied.

"I'm his husband, Shannon. We're married. Both of us, we totally rebuilt our lives. It's a long story man. So are you disgusted by this? We have children. We both carried our children, male pregnancies. You still want to know about your son now?" Shannon said into the phone.

He heard more silence.

"Layne has kids? Layne has children? It's true? Oh my god..."

Shannon rolled his eyes as he heard Phil sobbing again on the other end. He tapped his foot impatiently.

"Well what do you think about your son being gay and with a man?" Shannon asked.

"I don't care. I don't care, as long as he's happy. I just want him to be happy. He was so unhappy...he's happy now, right?" Phil asked, sniffling on the phone.

"Yeah...he's happy." Shannon smiled, looking down at his wedding ring.

"Good. I don't care. I don't care..." Phil repeated.

"Listen Phil, I've got to cut this short. Layne's gonna be back any minute. He was really pissed the first time you called and left that message. I tell you what, I'm gonna give you my cell phone number. But you gotta promise never to call this house ever again. I'll talk to Layne, see what I can do, see if I can get him to talk to you. I can't promise you anything. He harbors alot of resentment towards you. I'd like to talk to you anyway, see your side of things. But only call my cell phone."

Phil sighed into the phone.

"Alright. Give me the number. I've got a pen and paper." He replied.

"Alright, my name's Shannon." Shannon reminded him.

He gave him his cell phone number.

"Never call this house again Phil." Shannon replied.

"I won't. I won't." Phil replied.

"What's Layne's children like? How many children does he have?" Phil asked.

"Me and Layne's children. Well, we have three kids together..." Shannon began.

"Three? Wow, three grandkids...that's just...amazing." Phil smiled into the phone, sniffling.

Shannon smiled lightly. He had to admit, it was cute how Phil was intrigued by the fact that he had 3 grandchildren from Layne. Shannon was about to speak again, but suddenly he heard screams.

"Daddy daddy daddy!" He heard the twins screams.

"Shanny? We're here! Ready to go?" He heard Layne's voice.

Shannon jumped, talking quickly into the phone. Everything happened so fast as Layne and the kids walked into the hall, seeing Shannon standing there on the phone.

"I gotta go, remember what I said." Shannon said quickly, slamming the phone down.

His heart was nearly racing out of his chest. His face was flushed. He looked over to see Layne coming near him, lifting his sunglasses up onto his head, brows furrowed slightly.

"Who was that?" Layne smirked, wrapping his arms around Shannon, looking into his eyes, smirking.

"Uhh...it was Rodney." Shannon lied.

"You alright babe, you're all clammy feeling and shaky." Layne smiled warmly at Shannon.

"Yeah, just a little chilly I guess..." Shannon smiled as Layne wrapped his arms around him.

He hugged Layne, sighing and kissing his temple. He loved him so much. Layne pulled away with a smirk on his face.

"The babies are getting a little antsy. Let's get going babe." Layne smiled.

"Alright." Shannon smiled.

He and Layne held hands as they walked into the living room. The children were sitting on the couch, waiting patiently.

Layne dropped Shannon's hand and looked at the kids, clapping his hands.

"You guys ready for some pizza?" He smiled.

Shannon watched Layne with the kids. Layne was an amazing father. Layne loved his children so much. Shannon felt so sorry for Phil. So sorry that Phil was missing out on this amazing human being, who had so much love to give. So many people had hurt his poor husband, but it felt good to know that he was the one who saved Layne. He was the one who pulled Layne out of his depression.

Layne was everything to him. Shannon could feel his eyes tearing up as he watched Layne bending down as Laina and the twins ran over to him, hugging him. Layne kissed their cheeks, smiling and talking to them.

Shannon sniffled and wiped his eyes. Layne was the perfect husband, the perfect father. It was a shame that people were so fucked up to him years ago. Now they were missing out on a wonderful person.

Layne stood up, looking back at Shannon, smiling, brows furrowed slightly.

The children ran over to Shannon now, hugging him.

"Hey guys." He smiled, looking down and sniffling.

They all hugged his legs tight. He looked up at Layne and smiled, pursing his lips.

"Laina, take your brothers and go sit in the car. We'll be there in a minute alright." Layne replied.

"Ok daddy!" Laina said excitedly.

She grabbed Zaine and Shayne's hands and the children ran outside, piling into the SUV and waiting excitedly for their dads so they could go eat pizza.

"Shannon, what's wrong, why are you crying? Don't cry babe...Tell me what's going on." Layne said once the children were outside.

He walked up to Shannon and wrapped his arms around him. Shannon sniffled, wiping his eyes.

"It's nothing Layne. Really." Shannon smiled as Layne stroked his cheek.

Shannon sighed as they held each other, leaning into Layne's touch. Layne leaned down, pressing a kiss to his lips.

"Hey, you don't have any reason to be crying Shanny...something's wrong and you're not telling me. Just tell me..." Layne said concerned, looking into his eyes.

"Nothing's wrong Layne, it's just, I was just thinking about how fucking great you are...great with the kids, just thinking about our family and shit...it's just stupid really. I just got a little emotional. You're like the greatest dad ever..." Shannon replied, looking down.

Layne was silent and then Shannon heard a light laugh escape his lips. When he looked up at Layne, their lips met. Layne pulled away, forehead still pressed to Shannon's, hands cupping his cheeks.

"That's too fucking sweet Shanny...we're perfect..." Layne smiled, heart feeling with warmth.

They stood there, kissing softly, enjoying each other's touch.

Meanwhile, the kids were getting impatient. They climbed out of the SUV and went back into the house. Zaine walked in first, seeing his dads kiss.

"Ewww!" He giggled loudly.

Shayne came up behind him, giggling too. Laina walked in behind them.

The twins giggled loudly. Layne and Shannon had pulled away by the time Laina came in.

"Dads? What's taking so long, we're hungry!" Laina smiled and sighed.

The twins couldn't stop giggling.

"Daddy Layne and Daddy Shannon were kissing Laina!" Zaine giggled.

Shannon laughed lightly looking at his boys.

"You guys are silly..." Shannon smiled.

"We were coming guys..." Layne blushed and smiled at the kids.

Shannon smiled at his boys, who were still giggling.

"I'm gonna kiss you boys!" Shannon joked, running after them.

They screamed and giggled and ran out of the house. Laina ran after them, giggling too. Layne smiled and shut the lights off in the house and locked the door, going outside on the porch to see Shannon running around, chasing the twins.

He caught Shayne and picked him up, kissing his cheek.

"I got one! Layne! Get the other one!" Shannon exclaimed.

Layne smirked and took off running.

"Daddy Zaine's hiding behind the bush over there!" Laina pointed, smirking.

Layne ran over to a bush that was in their yard and jumped, yelling "boo!" at Zaine.

Zaine jumped and giggled and screamed as Layne picked him up, kissing his cheek.

"I got him Shanny!" Layne exclaimed, holding him and walking back over to Shannon who was holding the other screaming twin.

They kissed each twin's cheek, causing an eruption of squirms and giggles. Laina watched, smiling.

They finally set the twins down and both men bent down and kissed Laina's cheeks.

"Let's go eat!" Layne smiled.

The kids piled back into the SUV and Layne got in on the driver's side, Shannon getting in on the passenger's side. The children were chatty on the way to the pizza place.

The adults got to choose the music and they settled on Pearl Jam, hoping the kids would pick up on it. The kids were oblivious as they played clapping games and chatted.

Shannon smiled as he listened to the children. They were normal, happy children who loved their parents. And he loved them. He looked over at Layne and sighed and smiled. Layne glanced over at Shannon and smirked, looking back at the road.

They made it to the Pizzeria and were seated at a table. The kids excitedly scribbled on their paper place mats with crayons. Laina was teaching her little brothers how to write their names, one at a time. Shannon leaned over and kissed Layne as they looked at the menu. They decided on a plain cheese pizza. Each kid preferred different toppings, but everyone loved cheese pizza.

Shannon whispered sweet nothings into Layne's ear after they ordered. Layne blushed and smiled, looking at Shannon.

It was a perfect family outing.

They were stupid, everyone that had taken Layne for granted in his life. They were really stupid. Layne was a great person and Shannon felt sorry for them.


	4. All Your Business

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "It blew my fucking mind. I couldn't believe it. But I was so happy. I felt like this would bring me and Layne closer. I wanted Layne to have more of a presence in my life. It seemed he would only call me up if he wanted to uh, spend some time together. I wanted more than just that."

Shannon sat back in his chair, feet propped up on the mixing board, his beige hat slid over his face, his hands resting behind his head as he relaxed there, waiting patiently.

The intern Rodney was wiping down the mixing board, silent. He lifted Shannon's feet so he could polish the board under them and then continued on his way. Shannon sighed, bringing his feet down to the ground and his hat sliding into his lap. He rested his elbow on the mixing board and stared through the pane glass as the band were arguing. He could hear their faint yells through the glass.

This was one of the most complicated bands he had ever worked with. Would this album ever fucking get finished? It was as if the singer and the bassist disagreed on everything. It was obvious that they were the leaders of the band. Shannon groaned, sucking his teeth. They could argue all day; Shannon was charging them by the hour. It was no shit off his back; if they wanted to waste time arguing and having to stay extra hours to record their material, then they would be charged extra.

"Kinda tense, huh boss?" Rodney replied as he finished up cleaning.

"Yeah man. Kinda fuckin' annoying too." Shannon sighed, scratching his head.

Shannon was just sitting there when all of a sudden he heard his cell phone ringing. He was bored waiting for the band to stop arguing and agreeing on things. He spun in his chair as he grabbed his cell phone, pressing accept and put the phone to his ear.

"Heylow?" He said in a weird accent.

"Hello? Is this Shannon?" A gruff voice asked.

Shannon stopped spinning in his chair, holding onto the mixing board, his heart beating fast again.

"Yeah this is Shannon. Who is this?" Shannon asked.

Shannon already knew who it was, he just wanted to hear the confirmation from the man in the flesh, over the phone.

"It's Phil." Phil replied.

"Oh. Hey." Shannon said, sitting back in his chair, resting one foot against the mixing board, pushing himself back and forth, rocking in his chair.

"You busy right now?" Phil asked.

"Well not particularly. I'm at work." Shannon sighed.

"Work? Ah. What do you do for a living?" Phil asked.

"I own a recording studio. I'm a producer." Shannon replied.

"Oh. Well that's interesting." Phil replied.

"What do you do?" Shannon asked, curious.

"Oh, well I own my own business." Phil replied.

"Oh yeah, what kind of business?" Shannon asked, chewing on his thumbnail, still rocking with his foot against the mixing board.

"I own a construction business." Phil replied.

"Oh so you really made good for yourself after the drugs huh?" Shannon blurted.

He heard Phil's light laugh.

"Yeah. I guess I did." Phil replied.

There was silence and then Phil spoke again.

"I wanna know about Layne, Shannon. Tell me about Layne." Phil replied.

"What do you wanna know exactly?" Shannon asked.

"What's he doing? Is he still into the music thing?" Phil asked.

Shannon chuckled, standing up and walking out of the room and down to the lounge, sitting on the couch and laying back against the leather.

"The only form of music Layne's playing these days is singing nursery rhymes to our children. He's kind of rusty on guitar. He and our daughter are taking guitar lessons together." Shannon smiled.

"A daughter? You guys have a daughter? How old is she?" Phil asked.

"She's 11. Her name's Laina." Shannon smiled.

"Laina? Is that a feminine version of Layne's name?" Phil smirked.

"Yeah, yeah it is." Shannon smiled.

"You said you guys have 3 children? The other ones, what are they?" Phil asked.

"Well we've got our daughter Laina, and we've got two twin boys, Shayne and Zaine." Shannon smiled, biting his lip, rubbing his knee with his hand.

"Whoa, those names...are they identical?" Phil asked.

"Very." Shannon smiled. "The boys are a handful, their so hyper and full of energy."

"How old are they?" Phil asked.

"Oh, 4 years old." Shannon smiled.

"I bet they are rowdy rascals..." Phil chuckled.

There was silence again and Phil asked more questions.

"So did Layne birth all the kids?" Phil asked.

Shannon couldn't help but laugh. It was obvious by the awkward way Phil asked this question that he was uninformed of male pregnancies. He was from the old school generation where they suppressed that shit and tried to condemn it.

"No...I carried Laina, and Layne carried the twins." Shannon chuckled lightly.

"Layne carried twins? Oh man..." Phil smiled into the phone.

"It's a funny story, because when he was pregnant...we didn't even know he was carrying twins. We thought it was just one baby. Sure enough, when it was time for them to come out, I came into the room and Layne was holding two babies. Surprised the hell out of us..." Shannon chuckled.

"I guess that happens sometimes..." Phil smiled.

"Are you remarried?" Shannon asked.

"Oh, no. I live alone. I think I've had enough of being married." Phil chuckled.

Shannon furrowed his brows. "How many times have you been married?"

"I've tried it, 3 times." Phil smirked.

"Wow holy shit. Yeah maybe you shouldn't do that anymore." Shannon smiled.

"Yeah, Layne has a few step brothers. I had 2 sons from my first marriage. My second marriage was to his mom, I had Layne and Liz, and then I married another woman but that didn't work out. I'm just content with being alone." Phil replied.

Shannon sighed into the phone. He didn't know what to say about that. That was interesting though, that Layne had more siblings. Shannon had only met his sister.

"So how'd you guys meet? How long have you been with Layne?" Phil asked.

Shannon smirked to himself.

"That's a long and complicated story." Shannon smiled.

"I've got time, do you feel like telling me?" Phil asked.

"I might have to go back to work at anytime...but I guess I could tell you." Shannon smiled.

"Alright. I'm listening." Phil smiled.

Shannon smiled to himself. Phil obviously loved hearing stories about Layne. He seemed to love his son.

"Okay, well, wow, where to start? Um, well we first met in 1992. I used to be in a band and my band was opening up for Layne's band. Well me and Layne started talking during the tour. We were pretty much on and off in the early 90s. Layne was doing heroin, but it wasn't bad yet. We sometimes did drugs together.

So pretty much we were dating and then we weren't. It's like we would meet up from time to time and uh, spend time together. I've always been in love with your son but I don't think his head was truly in it at first. It was the drugs.

Well around 1994 I realized that something wasn't right with my body. You know male pregnancies are just becoming mainstream these days, even though they've always been around, there's more resources for guys now. But back then, I was lost man. I had no idea what was wrong with my body and I went to a million doctors and they all told me I had a stomach bug or something. Well I finally got answers from one doctor and I was recommended to a wonderful doctor out in California. He's retired now, but he was like, the leading guy in this stuff back then.

So yeah, I found out I was pregnant. It blew my fucking mind. I couldn't believe it. But I was so happy. I felt like this would bring me and Layne closer. I wanted Layne to have more of a presence in my life. It seemed he would only call me up if he wanted to uh, spend some time together. I wanted more than just that.

Well I got up with him and I told him I was carrying his child. He already knew about male pregnancies, so he wasn't freaked out. He was, however, really pissed. I remember he must have snorted some coke or something, because he was real shaky, moving around alot. He went off on me when I told him I was carrying his baby. Those were tough times. He told me he didn't want her, he didn't want me. He basically told me to get the fuck out his life and he never wanted to see me again. That really hurt."

"Oh jesus..." Phil muttered.

"Yeah. Again I say, it was the drugs. I don't even remember how I made it through the rest of the pregnancy staying clean. I was itching to get something to take my mind off of things. Layne had really hurt me. I had this fantasy of us in my head. I was in denial about his drug use. I thought at the time that the baby would bring us together and we could be a happy family." Shannon replied.

"I think alot of people were in denial about Layne's drug use, including me...hell I was on drugs around that time..." Phil replied.

"So I heard." Shannon replied.

Phil laughed lightly, awkwardly. Shannon continued.

"So anyway, well I wasn't ready to tell my mom about the situation yet. I kept my pregnancy discreet. I was still touring with my band. I hid it well. I moved in with one of my guitarists in California, so I could keep seeing this doctor. Well I had her, alone, in a hospital in LA. Phil she looks just like Layne. That's why I named her Laina. She's the spitting image of her daddy. A feminine spitting image. She's so awesome." Shannon sighed.

"That just sounds wonderful." Phil smiled.

"It doesn't get wonderful yet. Well as soon as I had her, I started doing drugs. I don't even know how it got so bad. I started with dropping acid. I remember plenty of times changing her diaper and I was high out of my fucking mind. Thank god Chris, my guitarist, was there, or who knows what would have happened. She might have gotten taken away from me or something. I could have dropped her or something. It was crazy.

The LSD progressed to coke. Eventually I just started leaving Chris to take care of Laina while I walked the streets of LA, searching for a fix. I was so fucked up man. I felt like people cared more about Laina then they did me. I was too young to be a fucking dad man. And then Layne didn't want us, that had a hand in it too. I just didn't wanna face my responsibilities.

The heroin started after a concert one night. I went to an after party, as usual, leaving Chris with my daughter. Chris is too fucking nice man. He didn't realize what was going on at first. I'd tell him I was going to the store or something. I'd stay gone and not come back until early in the morning. I'd come back, feeling like shit from being high, and sometimes still fucking high. I remember I'd hold my baby, and just sit there, fucking out of it.

Well soon Chris caught on, that I was going out and getting blasted, and just using him, leaving the baby with him all the time. Needless to say, he was pissed at me. I promised him I would stop, and I kept doing it. And each time I promised him and he fucking believed me.

And then I remember he had like a fuckin' intervention or some shit. He pissed me off, saying I needed to go to rehab, accusing me of not caring about my daughter. I was so pissed because I fucking loved her, and he was telling me I didn't by doing the drugs.

I packed up all my shit and I took Laina and I moved back home. Told my mom everything. She was freaked out about the fact that I gave birth to a baby at first. She didn't believe me, but I have the scar. I showed her the scar. I think she just coped. She was so glad to have a granddaughter. Eventually she just accepted it.

Well I figured I could get better, without fucking rehab at home. But that wasn't enough. I was still lonely and I still needed to use. So I found myself getting drugs locally. That heroin man, that's some fucked up shit...

Mom started realizing what I was doing. Mom caught on. We were at each other's throats. She was coming down on me hard. I really broke her heart man, but I couldn't stop. I was addicted at that point.

I'm surprised my mom didn't take Laina away from me, get custody. One day I was coked out of my mind, and Laina's diaper needed to be changed. We were home alone and I picked her up and I fucking dropped her man. I dropped her on the floor and I broke her leg." Shannon's eyes teared up.

"Oh man. That's bad..." Phil muttered.

"I know man, it was the fucking drugs. I picked her up and she was crying and I was so blowed that I didn't even care. I changed her and just set her back in her crib. I then took some heroin to come down and I remember the baby was crying for nearly 2 hours straight and my mom came home, saw me fucked out of my mind on the couch. She was screaming at me, going to check on the baby and she realized that Laina's leg was broken.

Mom didn't tell on me. Mom said it was an accident at the hospital. She took the blame. She was crying and shit. My mom is too nice. I can't believe she didn't take my daughter away over that.

Well. Pretty much, one day mom had had enough of my shit. It was like world war 3 in the house. The baby was screaming and crying. Mom was yelling at me. She was tired of my shit, tired of my drug use, tired of me never doing anything but getting high. She was threatening me. Threatening to take my child away. Take my parental rights away. I was so pissed I called her a bitch and I stormed out to cool off. I was tired of her shit, yelling at me about the drugs and shit. The drugs made me feel happy. I was terrified to be sober, to face things, face the loneliness..."

Shannon rubbed his forehead as he thought about the past. He sighed.

"I know what you mean Shannon. I understand completely." Phil sighed.

"So I went out, got this bag of junk. It must have been really pure. I had never taken anything that hit me that hard before. It had cocaine mixed in with it, and I didn't know it at the time.

I was so pissed I came back home, screaming at my mom. I sat in the middle of the floor of the living room and made my shit up and put that shit right into my arm.

I remember looking over to see my mom looking at me, screaming and crying. That's the last thing I remember and the shit after that is just black man." Shannon replied.

"You ODed?" Phil asked.

"Yeah. I overdosed. I was told later that I almost died. I had like this massive heart attack. It was a miracle that I was even saved. I was in a coma for a while. I just remember waking up and seeing my mom.

She was fucking crying and shit. And I felt pretty fucking weak. Pretty fucking bad. I think Laina was 2 at the time. I remember my mom set her in the hospital bed. I looked at my daughter. She looked at me with nothing but love. She knew something was wrong with me and she started crying. I remember I hugged her.

That was when I realized, I had enough of this shit. I was being petty. I was being childish. I realized the world wouldn't stop for me. It wasn't about me anymore. It was about her. Her well being. I was neglecting her well being. I didn't want to be a shitty dad to her.

I had to make a life for us. I had to make things right. It was in that hosptial bed, that I realized that I needed to change my life around.

And I did. I went to rehab. I was gone for months. I was on all these heart medications and shit, only 28 years old. Rehab fucking helped alot. I went to this special rehab center, and actually Layne went to the same one. I was totally rebuilt as a person at that place. They taught me everything. They taught me how to take care of myself, they helped me through withdrawals, they taught me how to eat clean and live clean.

I came out on no more medications. The whole foods diet had healed me. It was a fuckin' miracle man. I feel like all this shit has been a miracle. I'm so fucking blessed.

Drugs fucking suck man. I wouldn't wish that shit on anybody."

Shannon sighed. He had to take a break. These memories fucking hurt.

"Shannon that's a wild story. I know about the drugs. I was on them for a long time too. I feel guilty that Layne was strung out and wasn't there for you. I know I probably had a hand in that...92 was around the time I spoke to him for the first time since he was a small child. I was gone for a long time...I'm sure you've heard this story from Layne..." Phil replied.

"Yeah. I have. They called his house and said you were dead or something. Someone did." Shannon replied, sniffling.

Phil sighed.

"See that, that was a fucking misunderstanding. I actually ODed one time, and I still had their home number on my file and somehow names and paperwork were mixed up and they called the wrong house, saying I was dead. And I think Layne's mom just used that to try and keep me out of Layne's life. I know I was pretty fucked up. I wished things had went differently. I just didn't want to be a father right then. I was tired of taking care of kids...I already had kids from my first marriage who were nearly 10 years older then Layne and his sister and here I was with Nancy, Layne's mother, with two small children. I felt tied down. I know its a fucked up thing to say. But I was hanging around the wrong people, who got me into the wrong things. My priorities were totally fucked up. I wished I coulda been more to Layne.

I was bad in 92. I know I used Layne. I fucking regret it so much. I know I was part of the problem, pushing him into that shit real bad. I wish I could have protected him instead of helping him. I wish we weren't all so fucked up."

Shannon sighed.

"Phil, you've gotta understand. I think it would have been easier for Layne to deal with you, I mean, so many people have fucking used Layne over the years. Layne's so nice. Layne's too nice. Layne is desensitized from Seattle. I mean, I understand that you are sorry and you feel bad. But Layne, Layne doesn't trust anyone anymore. This is gonna be hard to try and get him to talk to you. Because honestly, the mention of your name makes him really mad. Layne just can't seem to get over his situation growing up. I think he really loved you. He was just so sad that you went away."

"I wish he'd just fucking listen to me. I wish he could just forgive me." Phil sighed.

"I know. It's hard for Layne though..." Shannon sniffled.

There was silence and Phil changed the subject.

"So you and Layne are married now? Living a private life? How did that come about?" Phil asked.

Shannon smiled, playing with the hem of his shirt.

"Oh. Well. Okay. I had gotten myself together after rehab. I quit my band. I didn't want to live that lifestyle anymore. I knew it was going to kill me if I kept going. There were too many temptations on the road and I had a daughter to take care of now. So things were rocky for a while as I attended a music school. I knew I couldn't work a real job. I used my savings and I got through music school, learning how to be an engineer and how to use all the gadgets in a studio, and I took a chance, opening up one. I knew everything was gonna be okay when I produced my first big hit album.

I bought this house we're living in now, I built a life for my daughter. For a while, it was just me and Laina.

Well I had pretty much just forgot about Layne. I was so busy working and caring for my daughter. And then one day, I actually saw a picture of you and Layne on the TV. Layne looked bad. He looked skinny and pale...."

"Oh...I think I know what picture you are talking about...I was trying to reconnect with him at the time...that was the late 90s...I was kind of going through this hallelujah thing..." Phil replied.

"So I heard." Shannon smiled.

"I felt real bad you know, seeing how he was living, not taking care of himself, shooting up." Phil sighed. "I cried over it. I never wanted it to end up like that for him."

"He was really mad Phil. He was mad because you were clean and he was so far into it..." Shannon said softly.

"I know...and I wish I could have just made it all go away for him. I feel so fucking guilty. I'd do anything to go back and fucking help him. He made it pretty clear he didn't want to see me anymore. And I just walked away from him. I was brainwashed at the time, and I walked away from my son who really needed help. He needed someone." Phil sniffled.

Shannon didn't know what to say. Layne was a tough one to crack. The man just couldn't let go of his resentment.

"Well Phil, when I saw that picture of you and Layne, I was concerned. They said Layne was nearly holed up in his condo, and he wouldn't come out at all. I also heard he was on drugs real bad. Well I honestly thought it would be a matter of time before Layne died. And I didn't want Laina growing up thinking she never knew her father. I wanted her to have at least one picture, one experience of being with her father. So I went out to Seattle, and I found Layne's address and I came to his condo.

God...it took some time, but he let me in. I nearly left but he opened his door to me. I think he was really lonely. I think he always just wanted someone there, and that's why he opened the door for me, because he wanted a friend who he could trust. Well it was just awful in there. He looked like shit. He wasn't taking care of himself. This was in 2000. He was just awful looking. And I explained to him about his daughter, and he was still in denial, saying he didn't have any children. I hadn't seen him in nearly 6 years. Well he pissed me off and I ended up leaving, leaving a picture of Laina with him. I got a call later that night, it was Layne. Layne was curious and he wanted to see his daughter, so the next day, he came back to Indiana with me.

I think meeting his daughter, changed Layne. Laina was in love with him from the start, even though he looked like total shit. She was so excited to know she had another daddy. And Layne was real guilty you know, because of well, you guy's relationship and all...and I think he realized after meeting Laina that he had really fucked his life up.

Well of course that night he was withdrawing real bad. I called 911 and he was in the hospital. He begged me in that hosptial bed to help him. He wanted to be in Laina's life. He begged and pleaded, and I wasn't sure if it was gonna be worth the effort to help him, because honestly, he looked so bad I thought he was gonna die.

But I took a chance, and I helped him anyway. I sent him to rehab, with the promise that he could live with us when he got better. He could be with me and his daughter.

We fell in love again over his time in rehab. I couldn't speak to him for the first few months. He had to get better and earn that privilege of calling home. But once he did, and he told me he was okay, I was so relieved. I didn't think he was gonna make it. But when I heard his voice that day...I knew he was gonna make it.

Things were rocky for us at first. He was in rehab for so long. He had really damaged himself. And then when I was able to start visiting him, things got so much better. When I saw him that first time, I nearly fell out on the floor. He looked so good. I think it had been nearly a year since he was admitted to the clinic. Phil, Layne had healed himself. It was set in stone that day. He was better and we were gonna rebuild our lives together here. Layne was fucking happy. He told me that me and Laina were the only things that got him through rehab."

Shannon couldn't help but pause to let some tears fall.

"Shannon that's...Thank you so much for saving him Shannon." Was all Phil could muster.

"I love him so much you know? He's the strongest person I know. I won't fucking allow anyone to hurt him anymore. We've got a great life here, with the children. The twins were a surprise from rehab. It was a fucking miracle that Layne could even carry children, given the state his body was in when he first went to rehab. Their miracles, and I love my family, he loves his family.

Layne's just awesome..." Shannon sighed.

"I wish me and Layne could be on better terms..." Phil sighed.

"I'd just give him some time...." Shannon sniffled.

There was silence again. Shannon shifted on the couch. His cell phone had gotten hot from being on it for so long.

"Do you have an email address Shannon?" Phil asked.

Shannon furrowed his brows.

"Uh. Yeah. Why?" Shannon asked.

"If I give you my email, do you think you could send me some pictures of you guys? I'd love to see the children and see Layne..." Phil said softly.

Shannon bit his lip. Phil was asking for a fucking lot.

"Uh, I don't know about that Phil. I don't think Layne would want you to see him..." Shannon sighed.

"Well don't send me any pictures of him then...just show me the kids. I wanna see what my grandkids look like..." Phil begged.

Shannon felt sorry for the man. Shannon was sensitive. He sighed.

"Ok. Alright. Just give me your email address and I'll think about sending some pics your way." Shannon sighed.

"Ok." Phil replied.

Shannon got a scrap paper and wrote Phil's email down, stuffing the paper in his pocket.

"I'm so glad you're talking to me Shannon. I know you just want to protect my son. And I just want to tell you, I swear to you, I'm clean, my life is totally different. I'm not the same person I was back then. I just really hope Layne comes around. I'd like to have a relationship with him." Phil replied.

"I know. I think we've all changed, Layne's just got a few issues left that he needs to sort out." Shannon smiled, looking down.

Phil started talking again, and around this time, Rodney peeked in the room.

"Boss, hey boss, the guys are ready now!" He replied.

Shannon nodded and Rodney went back to the studio. Shannon had to cut Phil off.

"Phil? Phil listen, I gotta go back to work now. Conversation's been great today. It was nice getting to know you. I gotta go alright?"

"Alright Shannon." Phil smiled.

"I'll think about emailing you some pictures of the children. I'll talk to you again soon, okay?" Shannon replied.

"Sure thing. Take care now." Phil replied.

"You too." Shannon smiled.

Shannon ended the call and sighed. Phil didn't seem like such a bad guy. In fact, Shannon was intrigued by Phil's interest in the children. It would be nice for the children to have a grandpa. They weren't close to Layne's mom and step-dad. Shannon had never even met the man. He was just a step dad anyway. Phil was the children's true grandpa. Maybe Shannon just would send him pictures of his grandchildren. He had a gut feeling about this, like Phil could be trusted. He had no idea how he would start talking to Layne about speaking to his father.

Shannon walked back into the studio. He looked through the glass. The band members all gave him thumbs up and smiled.

"Fucking young punk ass douchebags..." Shannon smirked and mumbled as he sat down at the controls.

Rodney pulled up a chair to observe Shannon produce.

* * *

Shannon was wide awake that night as Layne slept. Shannon was spooning him, his arm thrown over Layne's torso. Shannon kept thinking about the conversation he had with Phil. He hoped he was doing the right thing by speaking to Phil behind Layne's back. He felt like he was doing the right thing. This had to be the right thing. This was a new millennium, everyone had changed. The drug dazed 90's were over.

Shannon sighed and kissed the back of Layne's temple. Shannon sighed, laying there and getting ready to fall asleep when he thought he heard the pitter pattering of little feet. He heard light whining and he furrowed his brows, turning over and seeing a figure by his bedside in the dark.

"Shayne? Is that you?" Shannon said softly, squinting his eyes.

He reached over and turned the lamp on. Layne was snoring lightly.

"No daddy, it's me, Zaine...." Zaine cried softly.

"Baby...what's wrong?" Shannon asked softly, sitting up on the bed, rubbing his eyes and looking down at his son.

Zaine sobbed lightly, tears pouring down his face as he clutched his favorite stuffed animal.

"I had an accident..." Zaine cried, coming between Shannon's legs and hugging his waist, pressing his head to Shannon's stomach.

"Aw sweetie, don't cry, it happens. Did you wet the bed?" Shannon asked softly, kissing the top of his head.

Zaine sniffled and nodded against Shannon. Shannon sighed and ran his hand through Zaine's hair.

"It's okay. C'mon, let's get you a change of clothes and I'll get you new sheets." Shannon smiled softly.

"My bear's wet too..." Zaine sobbed lightly.

Shannon frowned slightly. He stood up, Zaine backing up.

"Well I can wash him tomorrow sweetie." Shannon said as they held hands, walking out of the room and to the bathroom downstairs.

Shannon started running some water for Zaine to take a bath in. The house was quiet. Everyone was asleep except them.

"But I won't be able to sleep without him Daddy..." Zaine cried softly.

Shannon looked as his son and sighed.

"I'll wash him tonight then..." Shannon sighed.

Zaine sniffled and smiled.

Zaine took his bath and Shannon got him some clean clothes. Shannon changed his bedclothes and threw the soiled sheets and the bear in the washing machine for his baby.

Shannon and Zaine sat on the couch, watching TV late at night, waiting for Zaine's bear to wash. Shannon had gotten up to put the clothes in the dryer and when he came back, Zaine's eyes were heavy.

When Shannon mentioned him going to bed, Zaine whined about his bear and woke up again. Shannon smiled to himself and shook his head.

Zaine fell asleep against him when Shannon sat back down. Once the dryer cycle was finished, Shannon carefully got up and fetched the warm bear from the dryer. He went back to the couch and lightly shook Zaine.

"Baby, wake up, let's go to bed. I got your bear." Shannon smiled softly at his son.

He turned the TV off as Zaine grabbed his bear tiredly, smiling. Shannon picked him up, kissing his temple as he carried him back upstairs to the twin's room, tucking him into his bed and kissing his forehead. He sighed as he walked out and back into the bedroom he shared with Layne.

He chuckled to himself as he saw Layne sprawled out on the bed, mouth agape, snoring lightly. He shook his head as he turned the light off and crawled into bed beside Layne, moving his arm. Layne shifted in his sleep, wrapping his arms around Shannon.

There was nothing else more grand in the world then having a family. Shannon smiled to himself as he closed his eyes.

He would do some good. He would send some pictures of himself and the children to Phil. He just wanted everyone to be happy.


	5. Emails

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Layne's hand lingered over the mouse. He was curious, but he kind of didn't want to snoop around in Shannon's emails. They loved each other, they trusted each other. They didn't need to do petty things like this.

Nearly a month went by as Shannon secretly communicated with Phil behind Layne's back. They started talking on a weekly basis. Phil would ask Shannon things about Layne and Shannon would tell him. Shannon would tell Phil funny and interesting stories about their family life. Layne had no idea. Most of the time Shannon would talk to Phil when he was at his studio or when he was home alone. He never actually spoke to Phil on the phone while Layne was around.

Phil would share funny and interesting stories about his life with Shannon as well. Phil liked his son in law. He was a nice guy and he cared alot for Layne. Shannon liked Phil. Shannon had a good gut feeling about him. He knew he could be trusted. He had truly changed. The problem now would be getting Layne to try and talk to him.

* * *

There was a cool breeze blowing in the air on that warm, spring, Indiana day. Layne was laid out on the patio furniture on the back deck, relaxing and watching the kids play on the trampoline in the back yard. They were giggling and having a contest of who could jump the highest.

"Be careful!" Layne called lazily, laying back and smirking as he watched his children.

Laina was sort of a mediator between the twins as they both jumped, trying to jump higher then the other. It was so cute.

Eventually Shannon came outside, sitting in a patio chair beside the one Layne was laid out in.

"Hey babe...you look fucking comfortable..." Shannon smiled, looking down at his husband.

Layne smiled warmly up at Shannon.

"I am comfortable...it's nice out here today."

Shannon laughed lightly, reaching his hand over and grabbing Layne's hand. The two lay/sit there, holding hands as they watched the children jumping on their trampoline in the back yard.

Shannon's mind was racing. He had came out here for a reason. He felt like it was time to start trying to bring up Layne's father. He just wanted to see how Layne would react. Shannon sighed as he thought about it, holding onto Layne's hand. He shifted a bit, letting Layne's hand go and looking over at him. Layne looked over at Shannon and smiled at him warmly.

Shannon smiled back. It was now or never.

"Babe?" He asked softly.

"Hmm?" Layne asked, smiling lazily at Shannon.

"Um. Remember when your dad called that one time?" Shannon began.

Layne stared at Shannon, still smiling, but brows furrowing and expression fading.

"Yeah?" He asked, brows furrowed.

"Well, I've been kind of thinking about it lately..." Shannon hesitated and spoke.

Layne stared at Shannon, brows furrowed. He sat up in his seat, running his hands through his curls, frowning slightly.

"What's to think about? There's nothing to think about. It's over." Layne sighed.

"Well yeah but, I think you should have talked to him, you know? Don't you want answers and shit as to why he did you the way he did? Maybe something was going on with him or something...you never know..." Shannon sighed.

Layne was silent for a moment, brows furrowed.

"Shannon what the hell are you talking about? Talk to him? There's nothing to talk about. Where the fuck is this coming from? I don't owe that damn man anything. Not a phone call...nothing. He has fucked me over three times in my life! I'm done! I don't know how the fuck he got our number, probably from a relative on my mom's side of the family...but if he ever calls this house again I'm getting our number changed! Hell no I don't wanna talk to him! I hate him! Shannon...why the fuck did you bring this up? I don't wanna fucking talk about this. There's nothing to talk about. He doesn't even deserve to be a conversation in our household!"

Layne's tone of voice had gotten kind of nasty. Shannon frowned, standing up and getting ready to go back in the house.

"Jesus, sorry..." He frowned, turning to walk away.

Layne quickly stood up and grabbed Shannon's wrists, sighing. He pulled Shannon close to him and wrapped his arms around him, pressing his forehead against his.

"Listen. I didn't mean to get smart with you Shannon...I know you're concerned and all...I know what you are trying to do babe..." Layne said softly, pressing a kiss to Shannon's lips.

"You do?" Shannon asked, heart racing.

He swallowed hard. Layne laughed lightly, nodding against Shannon's forehead. He pulled away slightly, looking Shannon in the eyes.

"I know you just want to make sure I'm okay and you just want me to sort shit out with my dad and move on and whatever, but babe, I'm telling you. I don't want anything to do with that man. I've made my choice. He had his last chance years ago...and I'm done. No more chances..." Layne smiled.

"But Layne, I know you said the last time you saw him, you were in the midst of your addiction and he was clean...are you still harboring that resentment? That's just petty. You're clean now and doing great. I don't see why you just couldn't have spoken to him..." Shannon pressed.

"Shannon babe...you are such a fuckin' dudley do right. You know that? Don't worry about this, it's not gonna happen okay? Don't worry yourself over this. It's nothing okay? I'm gonna be okay. I haven't had a real father my whole life, why should I have one now? I'm a father now, and I'm way better then he ever was. My situation was what it was and I don't even care anymore. I was nothing to him and now he's nothing to me. He doesn't deserve me. Fuck him. Seriously Shannon, stop thinking about it. Please."

Shannon looked own, pouting and nodded. Layne lifted his chin up and kissed him softly. They stood there, arms wrapped around one another, kissing softly.

Suddenly they heard a loud scream from Laina. Shannon and Layne nearly ripped away and looked over at the trampoline to see what was going on with the children. They saw Laina jumping up and down, clapping her hands as Shayne laid out on the trampoline and Zaine was sitting down.

"Everything alright over there Laina?" Shannon yelled, brows furrowed.

"Yes daddy! Shayne just did a flip in the air! Did you see it!" She giggled.

"No...we missed it..." Layne smiled and sighed, rubbing Shannon's back. "Can you do it again sweetie?"

"Layne...don't do that Shayne, it's dangerous..." Shannon said worriedly.

By now, Shayne jumped back up and Zaine stood up too.

"Yes daddy I can do it again!" He giggled.

Zaine and Laina were jumping, giving Shayne more air as he started jumping higher and higher. Layne chuckled. Meanwhile, Shannon's heart was beating fast.

"Honey...I think that's high enough..." Shannon said unsure.

"Babe, chill out..." Layne smiled, wrapping his arm around Shannon and kissing his temple.

Shayne giggled as he was jumping very high and he maneuvered his body and did a flip on the trampoline, landing shakily on his legs and falling over. Laina and Zaine screamed as they jumped and Shayne giggled lightly.

Both parents gasped when they saw their child do a flip in the air. Shannon quickly winced and squealed, hugging Layne tight, burying his face into Layne's neck.

"That was so cool Shayne!" Layne smiled.

Shannon frowned as he looked back over.

"Sweetie, you really shouldn't be doing that. You could break your neck! I don't want you guys doing things like that on the trampoline!"

The kids all pouted at Shannon, stopping their jumping.

"Babe...chill out...their kids, let them be kids!" Layne smiled, turning and facing Shannon, rubbing his shoulders. "You worry too much."

"But I don't want them to break their necks or something..." Shannon pouted.

"Babe...that won't happen...I promise." Layne chuckled, hugging Shannon, shaking his head.

Shannon smiled and nuzzled into Layne's embrace. His smile faded as he looked over Layne's shoulder and thought about what Layne said. Layne's mind was set. He didn't want Phil in his life. What would Shannon do?

* * *

_A few days later_

Layne sat on the couch beside the children. They were watching cartoons and giggling. Layne smiled to himself when he heard their laughs. They were such loved and happy children. He bit his lip and sighed and smiled as he thought about Shannon.

Shannon was at work again. Layne would be glad when Shannon could have a couple of weeks off to spend with the family. He just wanted to lay around all day in pajamas with Shannon and the kids, watching TV together and being lazy. That would be a perfect day.

He sighed and stood up, stretching and making his way upstairs to he and Shannon's bedroom. Layne wanted to look at the pictures that Shannon had taken of the family a few days before. Shannon was adamant on taking pictures of everyone and Layne hadn't even seen them yet. He sat at the computer desk and touched the mouse. The computer was already on. He heard the CPU make a light wind noise as it turned on and the computer came on and loaded. The desktop came on and a picture of the children was on the background. Layne smiled to himself and sighed. He took the mouse and clicked around the start menu, getting to the pictures folder. He rested his chin on his hand as his other hand moved the mouse around, searching and searching until he found the folder that Shannon had made for the pictures he had taken.

Layne opened it and started looking at the pictures. There was one of him and Shannon cuddled together, taken with the timer, making silly faces. Layne chuckled to himself. Then there was a serious one of them, arms wrapped around each other, smiling at the camera. There were more of the children smiling together. Layne's favorite one was one that they had taken on the timer on Shannon's camera. The whole family together, smiling. Layne loved it. They were so perfect. He wanted to print it out or something, but he wasn't sure how to use all the gadgets that came with the computer. Shannon was the one who messed with all that. He would have to tell Shannon to print him out a copy of the family picture when he got home.

Layne sat at the computer and suddenly decided that he wanted to check his email. He furrowed his brows as he looked at the start bar of the computer screen. There was already a window open. Layne yawned as he clicked on it, getting ready to log into his email. Shannon was logged into his e-mail and he left it up on the computer. He probably forgot to close it. Layne idly brought the cursor over to the sign out box. He was about to sign out of Shannon's email and log into his own when suddenly, something caught his eye.

Layne saw that Shannon had a new incoming email. He sat there for a moment...processing what he saw. He blinked. He winced his eyes tight and he opened them, blinking.

In bold letters were the words Phil Staley. Phil Staley?

At first Layne sat back in the chair, arms crossed. His mind couldn't process this. Was this some sort of weird coincidence? Maybe someone in a band that Shannon was producing was named Phil Staley. Maybe this was just some sort of coincidence. This couldn't be....no this definitely couldn't be...could it?

Layne's heart rate picked up. If it was, then what the fuck was Phil doing emailing Layne's husband? And more importantly, how the fuck was he getting Layne's information? Emails, numbers? If this was him, would Layne have to call the police on him for stalking?

Layne's hand lingered over the mouse. He was curious, but he kind of didn't want to snoop around in Shannon's emails. They loved each other, they trusted each other. They didn't need to do petty things like this.

But then again, the window was open. Shannon's email was open and it was just left here out in the open for anyone to see. Maybe it was a sign. A sign that mean Layne should look at that email.

Layne sighed as he opened it. He needed to look at it and kill his curiosity. He wouldn't be okay until he saw what this was. Layne furrowed his brows as he began to read over the email.

_  
Shannon,_

_Thanks so much for sending the pictures of the children and you guys. You don't know how grateful I am. It was a blessing to see Layne. He looks so healthy and happy. You both do. You have a beautiful family. I am so glad you helped him get off of the drugs. You were right, Laina looks alot like Layne and I must say, the twins look exactly like you Shannon! I wish I could come and meet the kids._

_I'm so glad you're communicating with me. I just hope one day Layne can forgive me and maybe I can be able to meet you and the children. I can't get over how healthy my son looks. This was a real treat Shannon! I hope you continue to share photos of you guys with me!_

_Here, I'll send you a picture of myself, so you can see what Layne's old man looks like!_

_Don't be a stranger._

_-Phil Staley  
_

Layne sat back in his seat. His mind was slowly processing this. His brows were furrowed, his heart was beating fast. He wasn't thinking yet. He saw the attachment. He clicked it and he opened it.

He nearly fell out of his chair when he saw a picture of his father and his step brother, Chris. He hadn't seen Chris in nearly 10 years. Layne stared at his father, curiously at first. He frowned.

He clicked out of the photo. He reread the message. He scrolled back down through the sent messages. He gasped when he saw a message was sent from Shannon first, to Phil's email. He scoffed as he read it.

_  
Phil,_

_Hey what's up? This is Layne's husband, Shannon. Here's the pics I promised you I would send. There's some of me and Layne, of the kids and I got one of all of us._

_Hang in there Phil. It's gonna take some time to get to Layne. Layne's a hard one to crack, but I think I have just what it takes to do it._

_Hell I got him out of that condo years ago and now look at us. Just hang in there._

_-Shannon Hoon  
_

To Layne's horror, there were several attachments to Shannon's message. Layne opened some of them. They were pictures of him and Shannon and pictures of their precious children.

Layne sat back in the chair, brows furrowing into a frown, his lips turned down, his bottom lip trembling.

Shannon. Shannon was fucking talking to Phil. How the fuck was this even fucking possible? Layne couldn't even process this. Why was this fucking happening?

Shannon sent the man pictures of their children, of him.

Layne had just told Shannon a few days ago that Phil didn't deserve to know anything about him and here Shannon was, emailing the man over the internet pictures of him. How the hell did Shannon get his email?

Layne was getting a headache. How the fuck could Shannon do this? Shannon went too fucking far this time. This was bullshit! Phil didn't deserve to know shit about Layne!

Layne could feel his eyes pooling with tears when he thought about it. He felt like Shannon had betrayed him. Shannon had sold him out. Why the fuck was Shannon talking to Layne's dad? Layne needed answers.

Layne needed answers from Shannon. This was bullshit. This was not good at all. Layne knew Shannon liked to do shit like this, but this was just too much. Shannon had went too fucking far.

He put his face in his hands as he sobbed. He didn't want his dad to see him. He didn't fucking deserve to see how happy he was. He didn't deserve to see his beautiful family. He didn't deserve to speak to Shannon. Why the fuck was Shannon not on Layne's side here?

Layne frowned and knocked over a cup of pens off of the desk, sighing loudly and running his hands up his face and through his hair as tears fell.

Why would Shannon fucking do this?


	6. The Big Fight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Layne stop breaking shit! Fuck!" Shannon exclaimed, running over and grabbing Layne's waist, trying to pull him away from the desk before he did something really stupid.

Shannon pulled up in the driveway in his Galaxie. It was late in the afternoon. He had finished up early at the studio that day. He would have a couple of weeks off. He didn't have anybody booked until then. He hummed lightly to himself as he got out of the car and walked the small trek over to the porch, walking up the stairs and going up to the door. He shoved his key in the doorknob and unlocked it, stepping into the house. He smiled as he stepped in.

The first thing he saw when he stepped into the house were the children, who were watching tv.

"Hey guys." Shannon smiled as he stood there at the door, closing it and putting his keys on the rack, taking his shoes off and putting his hat on the coat rack.

"Hey daddy." Laina smiled, glancing over and then looking back at the tv.

Shannon walked over and stood there, arms crossed, watching the children watching the tv.

"What'd you guys do today?" Shannon asked, smirking.

"Nothing." Laina replied, glancing over at Shannon.

The twins were entranced with the cartoon. Shannon tilted his head and furrowed his brows.

"Have you guys been sitting here all day watching tv?" Shannon asked.

This time all the children looked back at Shannon and nodded, quickly looking back at the tv.

"Have you had dinner yet?" Shannon asked.

The mention of dinner caught the children's attention. This time the twins spoke up.

"No daddy." Zaine replied.

"Yeah daddy we're hungry!" Shayne replied.

Laina nodded. Shannon smiled and laughed lightly. The children were always hungry.

"Well I'll see what I can do. Where's daddy Layne at?" Shannon asked, looking around, brows furrowed.

The house was eerily quiet. Usually Layne would be down there greeting Shannon when he got home.

"Daddy Layne's in his room." Laina replied.

"Oh, is he taking a nap?" Shannon asked.

Laina shrugged. Shannon smiled and sighed.

"I'll go see what daddy Layne's up to and then we'll come up with something for dinner, okay?" Shannon smiled.

The children nodded, going back to their cartoons. Shannon smiled and started to walk up the stairs. This was odd. Layne wasn't down there with the children. Was he not feeling good or something? Maybe he was asleep.

Shannon made his way up the stairs. As he neared their bedroom, he stopped, furrowing his brows and sniffing the air. He coughed lightly. Something smelled like smoke...like burning...like nicotine!

Shannon's heart started beating fast as he came closer and closer to their bedroom. He came up to the door, and the door was slightly cracked.

"Layne!?" Shannon called, swinging the door open.

He frowned and waved his hand around when he looked into the room and saw Layne sitting on the bed, his shoes on, long legs crossed. He was rested against the pillows, a pack of marlboros and a lighter on his stomach. He looked at Shannon with a sarcastic smirk on his face as he held the cigarette, eyes never leaving Shannon's as he took a drag, blowing smoke out.

Shannon frowned and coughed, slamming the door behind him. He turned around.

"Layne! What the fuck are you doing!? Fucking smoking? What the fuck is this!? Our bedroom smells like a fucking smoke lounge!" Shannon frowned.

His heart was beating fast. He was pissed. What the fuck was Layne doing?

"I forgot how good these tasted. Man they calm me down so good." Layne smiled, sitting up slightly, taking a long drag and watching Shannon.

Shannon stood there, hand pressed to his forehead, not understanding.

"Layne what the fuck is going on? Why are you in here smoking? What the fuck happened to being clean...no cigarettes, no booze...no nothing. Layne I don't understand. What's wrong babe?"

Shannon could feel his eyes tear up. Just what the fuck was Layne doing? Shannon didn't want the children to see Layne with a cigarette and think it was cool to do that. Shannon fucking hated smoke, it made everything stink.

"I'm smoking because I need to calm down." Layne replied, frowning, taking yet another drag.

"Please don't do that...stop this Layne, I don't want you putting that shit into your lungs...please put it out!" Shannon pleaded.

He was worried now. Layne was having odd behavior again. Layne looked at Shannon and frowned.

"You don't tell me what to do. I do what I want. I'm an adult, and I'm smoking cigarettes again." Layne said carelessly, finishing off one and putting it out in an ashtray and putting another one to his lips, lighting it.

As he was in the midst of lighting it, Shannon rushed over and grabbed the cigarette from Layne's mouth and quickly grabbed the pack, backing away.

"Stop it Layne! Stop this shit! You're not smoking! We're supposed to be clean! Clean of everything!" Shannon exclaimed, chucking the cigarettes into the trashcan.

He stood there, tears pouring down his face. His throat burned from the cigarette smoke stench.

Layne rushed up once Shannon had snatched his cigs. He stormed over to the trashcan and Shannon stood in front of it.

"Layne! What the fuck is going on!? Tell me! Why are you fucking doing this!?" Shannon exclaimed, tears pouring down his face as he stood in front of the trashcan.

"Outta my fucking way Shannon. I'm smoking that whole fucking pack. Cigarettes ain't cheap anymore!" Layne frowned.

"No. You're not smoking anymore!" Shannon stood his ground.

Layne frowned and shoved Shannon out of the way, bending down and grabbing his smokes out of the trash. Shannon stood there, scoffing, shocked that Layne shoved him.

Layne looked over at him and frowned, lighting another cigarette and smoking it.

"Layne! Fucking chew nicorette gum! Don't fucking smoke...please Layne stop doing that! I don't want you to smoke...please! Whatever it is...we can make it better...Layne please don't smoke!' Shannon begged, sobbing.

Layne blew out smoke, frowning at Shannon.

"You don't fucking tell me what to do Shannon. I'm an adult. You're gonna do whatever the fuck you want to do regardless right? So I'm gonna do whatever the fuck I want to do and I'm gonna smoke because it calms me down!" Layne frowned.

Shannon was so upset and confused.

"Calm you down from what? Do what I want? Layne what are you talking about? I love you! I don't understand..." Shannon exclaimed, freaking out.

"Love me? Love me? If you fucking loved me then you would fucking listen to me and do what the fuck I say instead of making decisions without me!" Layne spat, getting angry.

He knew saying things like this would fuck Shannon's head up. He was so pissed at Shannon. Meanwhile, Shannon was hysterical and crying.

"I love you Layne! I don't know what the fuck you're talking about! Please stop acting like this! I don't understand!" Shannon sobbed.

"You don't fucking understand! You don't fucking understand!? What the fuck is this shit right here!? Huh!?" Layne exclaimed, going over to the computer and hitting the keyboard, making it come on.

Shannon's email account was still on there with the email from Phil open. Shannon came over, sniffling, wiping his eyes and reading it. His eyes widened. Now his heart was racing. He looked over at Layne.

"Layne I-"

"Ah ah ah...fucking explain to me, how the fuck you're emailing my fucking dad...who I explicitly told you, that I didn't want to have a damn thing to do with! Shannon fucking tell me how the fuck did you get his email address!?" Layne exclaimed.

Shannon winced.

"Please stop yelling at me Layne..." He said softly.

"I'm not GONNA STOP YELLING BECAUSE I'M FUCKING MAD! Explain it to me dammit!" Layne exclaimed, hitting the keyboard.

"Calm down Layne, the kids are downstairs!" Shannon winced and sniffled, hot tears pouring down his face.

"I'm not gonna calm down! Because this is BULLSHIT! Shannon you FUCKING SOLD ME OUT! You sent him pictures of us, pictures with me in it! Pictures of our children! I feel like I can't fucking trust you anymore Shannon! Why! Why would you do this? He doesn't fucking deserve to fucking see us Shannon! He's not a good person! He's a horrible fucking person! And the one person I fucking love with my whole fucking being, is sitting here talking to the one fucking person who I fucking hate with my whole being! This is so fucked up Shannon! You fucking betrayed me!" Layne screamed at Shannon.

Shannon cowered, sobbing.

"No I didn't betray you Layne! I fucking love you so fucking much! Please calm the hell down! I'll explain when you calm down!" Shannon cried.

Layne was breathing hard, still smoking. He closed his eyes and sighed loudly, before taking another drag, blinking slowly.

"Okay, I'm calmed down. We'll try it your way Shannon. Fucking explain to me why and how you're emailing my dad." Layne said calmly and lowly.

Shannon sniffled, wiping his eyes and looking down.

"Well he called again, one day when you weren't here, and I answered the phone..." Shannon began.

"You fucking talked to him?" Layne frowned.

"He tried to call a few times, and yes, I spoke with him on the phone..." Shannon said softly.

"What the fuck did you do Shannon!? Huh?" Layne exclaimed, finishing off the cigarette.

Shannon winced and hesitated.

"He asked me about you...and I told him about how you're doing..." Shannon said softly.

"You did...WHAT!?" Layne exclaimed, face turning red, fists clenched.

"I fucking told him about our life. Layne...this fucking anger's not healthy! I talked to Phil...he's a pretty nice guy, he's changed Layne, I swear to you. He really wants to make amends with you. Why don't you just give him a chance? Why do you got to fucking hold all this shit in and resent? Just fucking let it go babe! Give him one last chance..." Shannon sniffled, trying to assure Layne.

Layne quickly put two and two together.

"So you mean to tell me, that you've been talking to my dad? Telling him shit about me and us?" Layne asked.

"Yeah. He's not as bad as you think Layne. All you have to do is speak to him over the phone, that's all..." Shannon assured softly.

Layne frowned, tears pouring down his face. He started getting loud again.

"You're my husband! You're supposed to be on MY side! How could you do this to me Shannon? How could you fucking do this? I told you I didn't want him to know ANYTHING about me! And you go and fucking tell him everything!" Layne exclaimed.

"I didn't tell him everything Layne! Please calm down!" Shannon exclaimed, walking over to his husband.

Layne frowned and shoved Shannon back.

"Don't fucking come near me! You're a fucking liar Shannon! I fucking know you! I bet you told him every fucking thing! You told him about our past, you told him about rehab, about the children, you told him everything didn't you!?" Layne screamed at Shannon.

"...I told him about all those things..." Shannon mumbled.

That was it for Layne. Layne cried loudly, punching the keyboard again.

"Layne...fucking stop! Calm down! I'm sorry! I'm fucking sorry babe!" Shannon exclaimed.

"I feel like you don't even fucking love me anymore! I fucking told you I didn't want to talk to him Shannon! You don't fucking understand how much I fucking hate him! Now he fucking knows everything about me! This is bullshit!" Layne screamed, yanking the keyboard out of the CPU and throwing it against the wall.

"Layne! Stop this shit! Calm down! Please!" Shannon screamed, rushing over as Layne started knocking shit off of the desk.

"He thinks he can fucking call and talk to my fucking husband and fucking ask about me! What makes him think he has the fucking right!" Layne yelled, kicking the CPU.

"Layne stop breaking shit! Fuck!" Shannon exclaimed, running over and grabbing Layne's waist, trying to pull him away from the desk before he did something really stupid.

Shannon's mind was racing. He was worried about Layne, about the children. This was crazy shit. Why the fuck was Layne so fucking angry about his father?

Shannon and Layne struggled against each other as Shannon tried to hold Layne down on the bed, to try to calm him down.

"Fuck off Shannon, fuck off! Get the fuck off of me! This is your fucking fault! This is your god damned fault! You just don't know when to keep your fucking mouth shut!" Layne frowned as Shannon pushed him on the bed.

Shannon was feeling angry now. He stood there and pointed at Layne as he spoke.

"You've got a fucking problem Layne! This is the second fucking time you've done this shit in front of the children! You fucking say you don't want to be like your dad but don't you fucking realize you're scarring the kids by doing this crazy shit, just like your father scarred you?" Shannon frowned.

Layne's eyes widened, the anger boiling all over him. His skin was hot.

"You don't know WHAT THE FUCK you're talking about Shannon. Don't you DARE compare me to him. I'm NOTHING like him. I fucking love my children! Unlike him! Fuck you Shannon!" Layne frowned.

Shannon scoffed, frowning.

"Fuck me? Fuck me? No fuck you Layne! This shit is uncalled for, this fucking snapping and breaking shit! You need some god damned help! I'm sick of this shit!" Shannon screamed, frowning.

Layne stood up again, getting into Shannon's face. He shoved Shannon.

"How about I go to your mom and tell her about your past huh? Because to me that's the fucking equivalent of you fucking telling all of my shit to my estranged father. Why don't I go fucking talk to your mother behind your back about the things you used to do Shannon!" Layne frowned as he shoved Shannon.

Shannon's heart rate picked up and he frowned.

"That's nothing like this!" Shannon exclaimed

Shannon fucking hated when people brought his wild, partying past up. He was a totally different person and he was ashamed of some of the things he had done.

"I'll go over there right now and tell her some of the shit you used to do, you sick fuck, do you remember? Remember?" Layne frowned, having Shannon against the wall by now.

"Shut the fuck up Layne, you're only fucking with my head because you're angry...please just calm the fuck down! I'm begging you...this is not worth the fighting...I said I was fucking sorry! Babe please..." Shannon cried so hard his throat hurt.

This was a fucking nightmare...they had never argued this bad before. He just wanted this to fucking end. Layne stood there like he was contemplating.

"I need to fucking get away from here. I don't need to be here right now!" Layne frowned.

"What the fuck are you talking about?" Shannon exclaimed, watching as Layne paced around, stroking his goatee.

Shannon sobbed and watched as Layne went into their closet and pulled out a suitcase. He started throwing clothes in it.

"Babe...no you're not fucking leaving! You're not fucking leaving us! Put that shit up! Fuck no!" Shannon exclaimed, running over to the suitcase and trying to take clothes out and put them back as Layne piled it up.

"Fuck off Shannon. I fucking swear if you don't fuck off..." Layne warned.

"No! I'm not letting you fucking leave me over this stupid shit! Layne don't fucking leave me...please don't fucking leave..." Shannon begged and sobbed.

Layne was pissed.

"Oh so now you don't want me to fucking go but you like to fucking talk to people I hate behind my back huh? I wanted a quiet fucking life Shannon, I don't want anyone knowing where I'm at. I don't know why the fuck you do this shit! I'm fucking sick of it! You went too fucking far!" Layne exclaimed.

"I did it because I fucking love you! I fucking care about you! I just want you to sort shit out so you can be happy!" Shannon sobbed as Layne continued to pack.

"I'm happy without that fucker knowing shit about me. You fucking love him so much you can fucking invite him down and have a party after I'm gone! Why don't you just fucking marry him if you love him so much!" Layne screamed at Shannon.

"You're fucking insane Layne! I fucking love you! Don't fucking leave us! Please...oh god Layne please!" Shannon begged and pleaded.

He felt like his throat was going to implode from all of the crying.

"I'm sure he'll be the fucking father of the year! You fucking talk to him all the time, you fucking think he's so great. You be his son. I'm not shit to him and I won't ever be!" Layne exclaimed.

Shannon frowned. A sudden burst of anger washed over him again. He was pissed that Layne was going to fucking leave. After everything that Layne had done for him and Layne was freaking out and leaving him over this petty shit.

"You know what, fuck this. You wanna fucking leave? Then just fucking go!" Shannon frowned as Layne continued to pack.

"I am! I'm going!" Layne frowned.

"Just fucking leave us! Leave your children! You know what, you are such a fucking hypocrite Layne. You fucking hate your father but you're leaving us, doing the same shit that he fucking did to you. I thought you were nothing like your father Layne!" Shannon spat at Layne.

Layne looked over at Shannon with the most evil look that Shannon had ever seen from Layne. He frowned as Layne approached him. He winced as Layne shoved him against the wall.

"You shut your fucking mouth! You don't fucking know anything Shannon. You don't fucking understand. You never fucking will. You had both of your parents! You think it's so fucking easy to forgive and forget. Well it isn't, and I'm sick of you always pushing me into shit I'm not ready for! You don't fucking know anything!" Layne spat.

"I know that you're one sorry mother fucker, fixing to leave his children!" Shannon spat.

Layne had enough of Shannon's mouth. Layne had so much rage built up in him that he punched Shannon in the face.

"Fuck you Shannon!" Layne spat, turning his back on his husband.

Shannon held his eye, crying loudly and sinking down to the floor, a mess. He was pissed, sad, and shocked. Layne had never, ever laid a hand on Shannon. Shannon could feel the bruise forming over his eye. He couldn't hardly hold it and the tears that formed in it stung as he held his eye and sobbed loudly.

Shannon sat there and cried, his hands covering his face as Layne tugged his zipper closed on his suitcase. He mumbled to himself and suddenly Shannon heard a loud crash and he cowered, his head in his knees which were pulled to his chest, his hands covering his head.

"Fuck you! I'm outta here!" Layne spat.

He had thrown the computer monitor across the room, it hitting the wall and making a dent in the wall and shattering and breaking.

Layne snatched his suitcase and rushed out of the room and down the stairs, dragging it, making loud noise as it hit each stair and he cursed to himself.

He didn't see the children in the living room and he was glad because he was just so pissed and he needed to get away from there. He got in the SUV and threw his suitcase in and he just took off, out of there.

He had no idea where he was going. He was just gonna get away from Shannon. Shannon had really pissed him off, prying into this thing. Talking to Phil behind his back. Shannon was supposed to be on his side. Shannon didn't fucking understand. Layne got out of there.

Meanwhile, back at the house, as soon as Layne left, things were silent again. Shannon sat there on the floor, crying, his chest burning, tears pouring down his face. His eye felt puffy from where Layne had punched him.

He was heartbroken. His family was torn apart. Layne had left him and he didn't know where he was going or what he was gonna do. Shannon didn't know what to do. The worry for Layne ate away at him. Where else would Layne go? It had been he and Layne for so long.

Even though Layne had hit him, he was still worried as shit about him. Layne had a problem. Layne needed help. He was smoking again. What if he went out and got drugs or something and started that shit up again?

Everything they worked for would be thrown away. Shannon started sobbing loudly as he thought about it.

Suddenly as he was crying, he was startled when he heard a soft voice.

"...daddy?"

It was Laina and Shannon sniffled, trying to hold in his crying, looking down. He could hear her crying.

He forgot he had a black eye for a moment and he looked up at her. For a second she looked right into her father's eyes, eyes widened.

"Daddy what's going on? Why did you and Daddy Layne fight? Daddy Layne left..." Laina cried

Shannon quickly put his hands back over his face.

"Laina please get out of here right now. Please just go get your little brothers and stay in the living room. Please..." Shannon sobbed.

"But Daddy..." Laina sobbed.

"JUST GO!" Shannon yelled at her.

She sobbed and ran out of the room. Shannon could hear her feet as she ran down the stairs. Shannon sat there, rubbing his forehead.

"Fuck. Fuck!"

He didn't know what to do. He didn't know what the fuck to do. This shit wasn't supposed to happen. It wasn't supposed to happen like this. They were perfect. Layne wasn't supposed to leave him. They were supposed to be perfect and happy together. This was not good. Shannon had never experienced shit like this before.

He cried for a while, just sitting there, until he realized, that he had to do something.

He heard hushed whispers outside of the bedroom.

"...I want daddy!" He heard one of the twins cry.

He heard Laina scold them.

"No! Come on!"

Shannon slowly stood up, reaching for his cell phone in his pocket. This was so fucked up. He didn't want to, but he had to bring his mom into this.

The children needed to get out of here. Shannon needed time to think. He couldn't process this with the children around. He needed time to think about what he was gonna do.

He dialed his mom's number, putting the phone to his ear. He walked over to the mirror and looked up at himself as it rang. His eye was swollen shut and turning dark purple.

He sobbed as his mom answered the phone.

"Mom..." Shannon sobbed.

* * *

"Shannon, please open the door honey! Come out and talk to me! Please!" Shannon's mom, Nel, begged and pleaded.

She had come over to get the children. All she knew was that they were terrified and ran to her for comfort when she walked in the house. She knew that Shannon and Layne had been in some sort of fight. She walked upstairs with the children, telling Laina to pack some clothes and go help her brothers pack because they were staying with her.

She was startled when she saw the scene in their bedroom, a big dent in the wall, a broken computer monitor and shattered glass on the floor, and random things strewn all over the place.

She was standing in front of the bathroom door, trying to coax her son to come out and talk to her.

She knocked on the door again.

"Shannon honey please talk to me!" Nel called.

"Mom please just get the children out of here. I don't wanna talk about it right now. I just wanna be alone!" Shannon sobbed from the other side.

It broke Nel's heart to hear her son so upset.

"Honey do you know where Layne went?" Nel asked.

"No mom I don't fucking know! Please just get the kids and go! I don't wanna talk about it right now! I just wanna be alone!" Shannon yelled and sobbed.

It was no use, he wasn't gonna talk to her. She rubbed the door.

"Just call me when you're ready honey. The kids will be with me." She sighed.

There was no answer and she gathered the kids and they left.

* * *

On the short car ride to grandma's, Nel kept looking in the rear view mirror to look at the kids. The ride was silent. The twins weren't exactly sure what was going on. They just knew that they heard loud screams from their daddies and they heard loud bangs and crashes. They were scared and they didn't understand.

Laina however, looked out of her window, tears pouring down her face, sniffling. She was older. She knew what was going on. She knew her dads were fighting. She heard the curse words. She saw daddy Layne after he left. She looked out the window as he chucked his suitcase in the car, mumbling to himself and took off like a bat out of hell. She had wandered up to her parent's room. She heard daddy Shannon's sobs. She had never heard her daddy cry before. It was weird and it was scary. She walked into the room and she saw her dad Shannon. She saw his black eye. She knew then that daddy Layne had hurt daddy Shannon.

She was angry. She was sad. She didn't know what to think. It was as if some of her innocence had been taken away. This was real. This was happening to her. She always thought her dads were perfect, now she knew they weren't. She was mostly angry.

* * *

Later that night

Shannon was paranoid as fuck. He had on a trucker's cap and big sunglasses that covered his black eye. It was nearly midnight and he was at the store, standing in the beer section. He looked around paranoid.

He prayed he didn't see anyone he knew. He felt numb. His mind still raced. His heart raced. His chest burned, his stomach felt twisted. He hated this fucking feeling.

He was also feeling guilty as fuck because here he was, debating whether or not he should play with fire. Alcohol dependance was one of his problems way back then. He was told that when he was drunk, he was a fucking asshole. He would get mad, and he would say shit he didn't mean.

Well he didn't care. He had changed alot. Maybe he wouldn't be that way anymore when he drank. He hadn't drank a beer in nearly 10 years.

He scanned the aisles. He just wanted something to take his mind off of all this shit. He had debated with himself and he ended up at the store. He slowly but surely chose a brand. He grabbed the case, the bottles clinking. He looked down at it. He used to love this. This used to make him happy. Now he felt like he was holding satan in his arms.

But he needed it though. He wouldn't get addicted. He just needed this to get through the night, and he could figure shit out the next day. Figure out what he was gonna do.

He slowly made his way to the register, looking around, paranoid. When he got up there, he was carted.

He frowned as he shoved his ID into the cashier's face, slapping the money on the table and not even worrying about the change, grabbing the case and walking off quickly. He had to get out of there before anyone saw him.

When Shannon got home he found himself in his underwear, sitting on the couch. The house was quiet and lonely. He had the case in his lap, hesitating, not sure of what to do. He slowly picked one beer up and twisted the bottle cap off, throwing it on the coffee table and he sighed. He held the cool bottle to his sore, itchy eye for a moment before slowly bringing it down to his lips, tilting his head back and tilting the bottle back.

The liquid hit his taste buds for the first time in nearly 10 years.

* * *

Shannon burped loudly after he finished off the last bottle in the case. He dropped the bottle on the floor, it clinking against the other bottles. He forgot how this felt. He felt numb. He felt heavy. He felt warm. He felt dizzy. The good thing was, all the worry had went away. He slowly shifted, slumping over on the couch, laying sideways with his butt still firmly sat on the cushions.

He laughed to himself, drooling slightly. He wiped his mouth and slowly sat back up, against the cushions, looking up to the ceiling.

"You happy Layne?" He called.

"You happy cuz now I'm fucked up again..." He slurred.

"Your fucking fault!" He slurred, throwing an arm out in front of him, it limply falling to his lap.

He turned his head drunkingly, a drunken smile plastered to his face as he saw his cell phone out of his one good eye. The other eye was purple and swollen shut. He reached over sideways to grab his phone and ended up laying there, slowly moving his legs onto the couch and shimmying up so he was laying across the whole couch, like a beached whale.

His coordination was off as he squinted, looking at his cell phone, trying to find Layne's number. He slowly pressed the screen and somehow, through his drunken haze, he managed to dial Layne's cell number. It rang and rang and rang and he got Layne's voicemail.

"Figures..." He mumbled slowly, breathing deeply and slowly.

He waited for the beep and he just breathed into the phone, his senses delayed from the alcohol. He started talking.

"Are ya happy...Layne? You fuckin' ruined us...you fuckin' left...you, I'm drunk! I'm gonna get shitfaced...every fuckin' night! I hope I fucking die of alcohol poisoning...just to fuckin' spite you! I shoulda beat your fuckin' ass! When you fuckin' hit me...

I did it all for you...I fucking..."

Shannon paused to burp.

"I fucking saved you...if it won't for me...you'd be fuckin...dead!" He slurred.

"Everything I did. Fucking not, not appreciated!"

Shannon started hiccuping now.

"Do you even, love your children? You left. You're just like your father. Now come down here and try to beat my ass....I fucking dare you!

Old Shannon's back...this cat ain't scared to fight! I'll kick your ass...if you ever try to punch me again..."

Shannon paused again, hiccuping so hard his chest hurt. He put his hand to his forehead and he started crying, still shitfaced.

"I'm so fucking lonely...s'not fair...why'd you fucking leave me?...come back...Layne...I'm drunk...I need you...if you don't come back...I'll get drunk until you do..."

Shannon was suddenly desperate and crying, but, still drunk. He started talking out of his mind and lying.

"The kids are here...I'm drunk Layne...aren't you worried about the kids?" Shannon sighed.

He slowly pressed end call and dropped the phone on his face, it hitting his eye.

"Fuck..." He slurred, slowly reaching up and knocking the phone to the floor.

He laid there in the dark, on the couch in the living room, in the house, all alone, drunk, with his world totally fallen apart.


	7. Where's Layne?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shannon fucking missed Layne. Shannon fucking hated this fight. Shannon wished he had never started talking to Layne's dad.

Shannon woke up. He felt like a half ton weight, stuck to the couch. He could feel his head pounding already. He had ended up sleeping on the couch on his stomach. His left arm was numb.

He groaned as he slowly rolled over, his arm limp. He laid there, eyes shut tight as he waited for the circulation to come back to his arm. He finally sat up, a little too fast and his head started pounding.

He had the hangover from hell. He held his head as it pounded.

"Fuck..." He mumbled to himself.

His mouth tasted like shit and he felt like shit. He managed to open his eye. His black eye was crusted shut and he couldn't open it right away. He saw the mountain of bottles on the floor...he had downed the whole 24 pack of beer last night. He sighed, slowly standing up.

He walked past the mess in the living room and slowly went up the stairs and walked to the bedroom he shared with Layne. He stood there, looking at the mess that was still in there and he could immediately feel himself tearing up. He remembered the fight that they had. It was a really bad fight and he had no idea where Layne had went.

Shannon slid out of his underwear and went into their bathroom, getting ready to take a shower. He looked on their counter in the bathroom. Some of Layne's things were still there. His cologne sat on the counter. Shannon picked it up and looked at it, sniffling. He set it back down and turned around, getting ready to start the shower when he started feeling funny. He started feeling dizzy and his cheeks started watering and that's when he knew what was about to happen.

He quickly fell to his knees and in front of the toilet, shoving the seat up just in time to spill the contents of his stomach into the toilet.

Shannon had forgotten how horrible this feeling was. The feeling of puking. He hadn't puked in years. He gagged as he barfed, tears pouring out of his eyes, his crusty black eye partially open now.

Shannon fucking missed Layne. Shannon fucking hated this fight. Shannon wished he had never started talking to Layne's dad.

Shannon lingered over the toilet, sniffling and spitting. He held his forehead. This was the worst feeling in the world. He knew why he felt like such shit, because his body was clean and he had put these toxins in it. He regretted it. He fucking hated himself right then. He needed to get it together for the children. He couldn't lose his mind. It was a big mistake last night drinking that beer. If his mom found out, she'd fucking flip.

Shannon stood up, flushing the toilet. He slumped over to the sink and started to brush his teeth, staring at himself in the mirror. He promised himself he would never slip up like that again. He wouldn't want to anyway, he wouldn't want to feel like this ever again. He sighed and spit, rinsing and then preceded to take his shower.

* * *

It was a quiet and lonely day for Shannon. He took a few aspirins and laid back down, taking a nap. He felt a little better when he woke up. He decided to clean up. He cleaned the mess up he had made in the living room, emptying the trash. He cleaned up the kitchen a little bit, running the dishwasher.

He sighed as he went upstairs to the bedroom, looking around at the results of their fight. He set to work on cleaning everything up. He put everything back on the desk in an orderly fashion.

He checked the CPU to see if it was still working. It was okay. He picked up the keyboard, some of the keys had broken off of it. He would have to toss that out. He walked over to the computer monitor that lay upside down on the floor, drywall and glass shattered around it.

He took care of that mess, taking the monitor and the keyboard down the stairs and setting it to the side of the road for the Public Sanitary workers to take care of.

He had to get the glass and drywall up out of the carpet. He would have to get someone to come over and patch the wall.

As Shannon cleaned up, he thought things over in his head. Layne was right, Shannon should have listened to him and not spoken to Phil. Shannon should have respected Layne's boundaries, but Shannon was so used to helping Layne be a better person. Shannon sort of liked the idea of the children having a grandfather in their lives...Shannon wished that this could have turned out differently. He hoped Layne would come back. He didn't want to have the children back home until he knew what was going on with Layne.

Shannon needed to know where Layne was. He just needed to know that Layne was okay. Shannon had finished cleaning up and now he had nothing to do again. He had his cell phone and he laid on the bed he shared with Layne. He stared at Layne's side of the bed and sighed, a wave of emotion coming over him again. He closed his eyes and started sobbing lightly.

He slid over and laid against Layne's pillow, smelling it, trying to smell him. This fucking sucked. It seemed like the seconds were an eternity without Layne here. Shannon thought about his smile. He didn't wanna think about the bad things. He thought about Layne's smile, how Layne would look at him with so much love in his eyes.

It had been nearly a day since Layne left and he fucking missed him already. He sniffled, grabbing his cell phone and looking at it. No texts, no calls from anybody. He opened his contacts and sat up on the bed sniffling and pressed Layne's number. He put the phone to his ear as it rang and rang.

"Please answer the phone..." Shannon mumbled to himself.

It continued ringing and when the voicemail came on, Shannon ended the call. He tried again, with the same results, a few rings and then to voicemail.

Shannon was determined. He sat there for nearly 15 minutes, continually dialing Layne's number and getting his voice mail. By the final attempt, Shannon couldn't help but to cry. Layne wasn't answering his phone. Layne was fucking pissed with Shannon. Shannon fucking hated this, this was a nightmare.

He dialed Layne's number one final time, this time sitting through the voicemail.

"Layne..." Shannon sobbed. "Layne babe, please answer your phone. I need to know where you are and that you're safe...I know you need your space right now...I respect that...I just need to know where you are and that you're okay. Please call me...I'm so sorry for everything...I swear I am...I'll never stop loving you, I'm sorry. I wish you'd just come home. I need you here...I'm so sorry for everything I've done...please call me. I just wanna hear your voice and know you're okay. I'm so worried about you...The babies are at my mom's...Layne I don't know what to do, I don't want to let them come back home until I hear from you...please call me. I love you so much Layne...I didn't mean for it to turn out this way...Fuck, I hate myself so much right now babe...Please just call me..."

Shannon sighed and ended the call, throwing his phone on the bed, running his hands through his hair. He laid back down, staring up at the ceiling and sighing.

He laid there, his hand pressed to his forehead, the silence piercing. Eventually he dropped his hand, almost falling asleep. He was tired from his mind racing, worrying about Layne, about the children, about this whole fucked up situation.

He was nearly asleep when he heard his cell phone start to ring. Shannon sat up quickly, snatching his phone and answering it without even looking at who it was.

"Layne!?" He exclaimed into the phone.

"Shannon? No honey, it's mama." Nel replied.

"Oh...hi mom..." Shannon sighed.

He was dissapointed that it wasn't his husband.

"Honey I just wanted to know how you're doing. Tell me what's going on." She pryed.

Shannon sighed into the phone.

"Things are fucked up mom..." Shannon began.

"Layne called here wanting to speak to the kids." Nel replied.

Shannon's heart started racing.

"He did? Well how long ago was this? What did he say!?" Shannon exclaimed into the phone.

"It was about an hour ago...He told me you boys were having some disagreements and I tried to pry and ask what about, but he just said he'd rather not talk about it right now, and he wanted to talk to the kids." Nel replied.

"Mom did you listen in on him when he talked to the kids?" Shannon asked.

Nel was silent before she spoke. "Yes."

Shannon smiled lightly for a second, his mom had always been nosy.

"Well what did he talk to the kids about?" Shannon asked.

"Nothing really. I put them on the phone one at a time. He just asked them how they were doing and that he misses them. He said he was gonna see them again real soon. The boys were so sweet over the phone with him. They told him they loved him. Laina was a different story. She came right out and asked him why did he leave. Shannon she asked him why did he hit you? Did Layne hit you?"

"Mom...yes...what else did Laina say to Layne? And what did he say?" Shannon said quickly.

Nel gasped.

"He hit you Shannon? Well did you hit him back!?" Nel exclaimed.

"MOM PLEASE!" Shannon frowned.

"Ok ok...well all Layne would tell Laina was that it was complicated and an adult matter and he apologized to her and she wouldn't hear it. She told him she hated him for making you upset and leaving and she hung up on him. I hung up too...I didn't want him to know I was listening in...he didn't call back..." Nel replied.

Shannon sighed.

"Jesus Laina...my poor daughter...she's not stupid, she knows what's going on...I hate this mom. I never wanted to put something like this on my children. I remember how it was when you and dad used to fight..." Shannon said sadly.

"Aw Shannon I know dear...I'm sorry...well what in the world is this whole fight about anyway honey?" Nel asked.

"...Layne's father." Shannon sighed, tears forming.

"Layne's father?" Nel asked, brows furrowed.

"Yeah. He has a close to none relationship with him. It's complicated. Recently his dad somehow acquired our phone number and he started calling the house. He left a message one day and when Layne heard it, he went berserk, throwing things. He gets so angry at the mention of his father. His father wasn't there for him and he's so angry. Laina called me, terrified the first time this happened, and I rushed home from work to find the children scared and crying and Layne was upstairs, upset. I tried to get him to get some help but he refused."

"Oh my god Shannon..." Nel gasped.

"Yeah. Well, one day I was home alone, and his dad tried to call again, numerous times. I answered the phone at first and I hung up on him when I realized it was him and he kept calling back, so I talked to him. Mom he was desperate to speak to Layne. He wanted to know how he was doing so bad. I couldn't help it, I told him. And I gave him my number and I had been talking to him on a weekly basis, behind Layne's back..."

"Shannon what were you doing, trying to make amends for Layne?" Nel asked.

She knew her son well.

"Yeah...ended in shambles. My dumbass left my email up yesterday and Layne saw it. Layne's dad gave me his email address and I sent him pictures of us and the kids. I had tried to ask Layne a few days ago about talking to his dad but he was persistent in telling me he wanted nothing to do with him...I should have listened to him. I shouldn't have sent his dad anything...I wouldn't be sitting here alone and fucking worried about him...the fight was so bad mom...we were screaming at each other...we both said things that we didn't mean...well Layne probably meant everything he said to me...I feel so fucking bad mom...I'm so stupid..."

Shannon was crying again.

"Honey...you're not stupid...you meant well..." Nel tried to comfort him over the phone.

"I did...but he doesn't realize that...he's so pissed with me...mom he fucking punched me because I told him he was being just like his father by leaving me and the children. I think I pushed him away. Mom I miss him so much..." Shannon sobbed into the phone.

"I know honey, I know you do...Shannon maybe Layne just needs a few days. He'll contact you soon enough I'm sure...you boys are so great together, I'm sure he won't stay mad at you forever. Shannon you just need to stop trying to be a hand of god honey. You need to let Layne sort some things out for himself...you can't fix everything for him..." Nel replied.

"I know mom...I know..." Shannon sighed and sniffled.

"Hang in there honey. Do you wanna speak to the kids?" Nel asked.

"Nah...not right now mom. I'll call tomorrow. I don't wanna bring them home yet until I find out what's going on with Layne. You don't mind keeping them do you?" Shannon sniffled.

"No of course not, take as much time as you need. I love having my grandkids over." Nel smiled over the phone.

Shannon smiled slightly.

"Thanks mom...well tell the children I said hi and that I love them and that everything's gonna be alright...I'm gonna get off the phone now." Shannon sighed.

"Alright honey. It's gonna be alright you know." Nel assured.

"Thanks...talk to you later mom."

Shannon ended the call and sighed as he sat there. Poor Laina. He hated that she had to witness shit like this at her age. He hoped his daughter would be okay. He laid back down, arms thrown out on the bed and sighed as he looked up at the ceiling, sniffling.

* * *

A few days passed and Shannon didn't hear anything from Layne. Shannon hadn't ate a decent meal since Layne left. He wasn't worried about himself, he was worried about Layne. He talked to the children over the phone, trying to assure them that things were okay. The twins were easy to assure, but not Laina. She asked the tough questions. She asked Shannon had he spoken to daddy Layne. She asked Shannon when could they come home. Shannon assured her that soon enough, things would be worked out and the children would be back home and they would be a family again.

Shannon just didn't know when that would be. Every night he'd lay there, crying, feeling numb, worrying about his husband. He prayed Layne wasn't using drugs again. His mind threw evil scenarios at him. Shannon was fucking terrified. When he drove in town, he'd find himself looking all around for their SUV, hoping to see that Layne was in town. This was crazy, why couldn't Layne just call him? Layne was calling Shannon's mom's house every other day to speak to the children!

Shannon did things to try and keep himself busy and take his mind off of this. Watch tv, play guitar, sleep, obsessively and compulsively clean the house and rearrange things; anything to take his mind off of this horrible rift between he and his husband. He wondered if Layne was even thinking about him.

* * *

Layne finally calls, nearly 2 weeks later

Shannon lay under the covers on Layne's side of the bed. He couldn't sleep. He hardly could sleep anymore. It was as if he was in a never ending nightmare and he just wish he could wake up. He wished he could just wake up and Layne would be beside him, smiling at him, leaning in to kiss him.

He wish this all would just go away. All he wanted at this point was his husband. He wanted his husband home so the kids could come back and they could be a happy family again.

Shannon lay there, closing his eyes and sighing deeply, trying to force himself to sleep. It wasn't working. His mind continually raced.

The kids would be starting school soon. The twins would be starting Kindergarten. Layne needed to be here to help Shannon with the children. Layne didn't need to miss the twin's first day of school. Shannon's eyes teared up just thinking about it. What if Layne still wasn't here when school started and Shannon dropped the twins off by himself? They'd be sad that Layne wasn't there.

"Fuck..." Shannon mumbled to himself, laying on his back and staring up at the ceiling as the tears started again.

He was alone too much now a days. He had too much time to think. He sniffled, looking up into the darkness.

Suddenly as he lay there, he heard his phone start to ring. He was such a basket of nerves he didn't even flinch when it rang. So much shit was happening and he didn't expect this to be Layne, or be good. He reached over, picking the phone up and looking at it as it rang. It was a number he didn't recognize.

He furrowed his brows and sniffled, answering the call.

"Hello?" He asked softly.

Who the hell would be calling him at 3 in the morning?

"...Shannon?"

Shannon shot up in the bed when he heard that voice. He couldn't breathe. He was wide awake now. He reached over, turning the lamp on.

"Layne? Oh my god...Layne!?" Shannon exclaimed into the phone.

"Yeah. It's me." Layne replied softly.

Shannon couldn't help but to start crying over the phone. He was freaking out. He was so worried about Layne, he didn't know where to start.

"Jesus Shanny...calm down..." Layne said softly.

Shannon sniffled, smiling a little, wiping his eyes. His black eye was nearly gone, just a small brown bruise under his eye at this point.

Layne called him Shanny. That must have been a good sign.

"Layne...I'm so fucking sorry for everything babe...god I miss you...I'm so glad you called...I was so worried about you...have you gotten my messages?" Shannon asked, sniffling.

"Yeah. I got them. Shannon are you drinking again?" Layne asked.

"No...god no...that was just the night you left...Layne I'm so fucked up without you here...when are you coming home babe? I need you here. I'm so sorry, please forgive me for everything!" Shannon cried into the phone.

"Shannon that fucking message scared the shit out of me." Layne sighed into the phone.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Please tell me where you are Layne!" Shannon exclaimed.

Layne sighed on the other end.

"I'm in Seattle babe."

This made Shannon erupt into a hot mess of sobs and crying over the phone.

"Seattle? You're back in Seattle? Oh my fucking god!" Shannon exclaimed.

"Jesus Shanny, get it together, please calm down!" Layne exclaimed into the phone.

"Are you doing drugs Layne?" Shannon sobbed. "Please don't do any drugs...don't ruin what we built together!" Shannon sobbed hysterically over the phone.

He felt like he was gonna have a heart attack his heart was beating so fast. He felt like he wanted to jump up and book a flight to Seattle and go there and find his husband immediately.

"Shannon, fuck no I'm not doing any drugs! I'll never do that ever again! I'm not smoking either, so don't worry. You promise you're not drinking?" Layne asked.

"I fucking swear to you it was a one time thing...I woke up the next morning sick as hell. I'll never touch it again Layne! Promise me you aren't gonna do any drugs!" Shannon exclaimed.

Layne sighed loudly.

"I promise Shanny. Jesus..." Layne muttered.

"Why the fuck are you in Seattle?" Shannon sniffled.

"I just gotta take care of some things, okay?" Layne said softly.

"What do you mean? Where exactly are you staying in Seattle?" Shannon exclaimed.

"I'm at my mom's house. Staying with her, visiting her side of the family." Layne replied.

"Why don't I get a flight and meet you down there?" Shannon sniffled.

"No Shannon, I'm sorry, I just wanna be alone right now okay?" Layne said softly.

"But I don't wanna be alone Layne, I want you here with me. I wanna be where you are! Layne I fucking miss you! When are you going to come back home?" Shannon cried.

"Soon babe. Real soon. Stop that crying..." Layne said softly.

"Do you still love me?" Shannon asked softly.

"Of course I do. I never stopped." Layne said softly.

"I'm sorry for what I did. I'm sorry for going behind your back...I'm so sorry!" Shannon pleaded.

"I know babe...I'm sorry too...I'm sorry for going off...I'm sorry for smoking in our house...I'm sorry I broke the computer, I'll buy another one when I get home if you haven't already..." Layne said softly. "I'm sorry I fucking hit you. I feel so fucking bad about that...I should have never laid a hand on you. I love you so fucking much. I swear on my life I'll never hit you ever again!"

"It's alright babe...my eye's nearly healed. I'm sorry I said things to make you mad. It was just crazy. I trust you. I just wanna forget about this." Shannon sniffled.

"I know. Me too..." Layne sighed.

"What made you decide to finally call me?" Shannon sniffled.

"I don't know...I just missed you. I've been thinking about you all the time...even though I was pissed at you. I was being spiteful and not calling you...I know your mom's probably told you I've been calling over there to talk to the babies alot...I'm sorry, I just needed time to process things. It feels so good to hear your voice..." Layne said softly, voice quivering.

"Likewise babe...I don't understand why you won't let me come over there and be with you...I need you, I can't wait for you to come home. How long is it gonna be?" Shannon sniffled.

"I just got something I gotta do Shannon. I'll explain when I get home. Probably 2 more weeks. Listen, why don't you bring the kids home? I swear to you I'll be home in 2 weeks." Layne said softly.

"I guess I could do that...you promise right?" Shannon smiled.

"I just said I did, didn't I?" Layne said softly, chuckling.

"Was your mom glad to see you?" Shannon asked.

"Yeah, yeah she is. I didn't tell her about our fight though. I just told her that you were busy and you couldn't come and that I didn't feel like dragging the kids all the way over here by myself."

"Good excuse..." Shannon smiled and sniffled.

Layne laughed lightly. There was silence on the phone.

"Maybe, maybe things happened for a reason." Layne said randomly.

"What?" Shannon asked.

"Our fight. Maybe it happened for a reason..." Layne said softly.

"What do you mean?" Shannon asked.

"Nothing. As I said, I'll explain when I get home..." Layne muttered.

Shannon didn't want to continue questioning him about that. He didn't want to make Layne mad again. Layne said he would explain later and Shannon trusted him.

"You're gonna call me right? Over this 2 weeks...you're gonna call me everyday?" Shannon bit his lip, eyes pooling with tears again.

"I'll try to call you everyday babe...probably every other day...I'm gonna call. Don't worry..." Layne said softly.

"So our fight's officially over?" Shannon sniffled. "You forgive me?"

Layne chuckled into the phone.

"Yeah babe. I just wanna move on from this. I was pissed at you, but I never stopped loving you. I'll never stop. You saved my fucking life, you gave me a beautiful family. I would never throw all of that away..." Layne spoke into the phone.

"Aw babe, that makes me feel better..." Shannon sniffled.

"I'm worried about the kids...especially Laina...I think she's pissed at me. Every time I call she doesn't hardly speak to me Shannon..." Layne sighed.

"She's just a kid Layne. I think she is kind of mad at you..but you're her father...she'll get over it eventually babe. It's just one of those things, I wouldn't worry about it too much..." Shannon sighed.

"2 weeks is a long fucking time Layne. It'll be nearly a month since I last saw you...this really fucking sucks...I miss feeling you..." Shannon sighed after a moment of silence.

"I know babe, I know, I just gotta do this thing and I'll be back, I swear to you. You're the best thing that ever happened to me you know. I can't tell you that enough. Sometimes you make me mad as hell, but I love you." Layne pressed on.

"I love you too Layne..." Shannon smiled into the phone.

* * *

The boys talked on the phone for nearly 5 hours, professing their love for one another, continually apologizing, assuring each other that they were okay, talking about the children, talking about family.

Shannon didn't want to get off the phone but he was falling asleep. Layne promised he would call again.

Shannon felt like a weight had been lifted off of his shoulder. He could finally rest, knowing where Layne was and that he was safe. Shannon still worried a little bit about Layne being in Seattle.

Layne hadn't been to Seattle since he was living in that condo. Once Layne had left Seattle with Shannon in the year 2000, he never went back.

Shannon had crazy scenarios going through his head. What if some of Layne's old drug dealers recognized him on the street and harassed him? What if anyone out there recognized Layne and bombarded him or overwhelmed him? Shannon wished Layne would let him come out there with him so he could protect him.

He wondered what Layne had to do. Layne kept saying he had something he needed to do. Shannon couldn't fathom for the life of him what in the world Layne was talking about? Was he going to talk to Jerry Cantrell and make amends or something?

Maybe that was it.

Shannon couldn't wait until Layne was back home in Indiana and their life returned to normal. This nightmare was nearly over.


	8. I Need You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Shannon I fucking need you here...I can't do this alone...I thought I could...I need you here, you and the babies, I need you here with me. Please come over here..." Layne sobbed.

"Daddy!"

A chorus of happy squeals and screams sounded as Shannon walked into his mother's house. He kneeled down as his twins ran towards him and wrapped his arms around them and they both wrapped their arms around him, hugging him tightly.

"Hey boys, I missed you so much! You guys ready to come home?" Shannon smiled, looking at them, back and forth.

"Yes daddy!" Shayne giggled.

Shannon made them squeal as he pressed a kiss to Shayne's cheek and then to Zaine's cheek. He stood up and the twins hugged his legs. He patted their heads as he stood there, looking around.

"Mom!?" Shannon called. "I'm here to get the kids!"

"I'll be there in a few minutes Shannon!" His mom called.

"C'mon guys..." Shannon replied lightly pushing the boys off of his legs.

He walked over and sat on the couch and the boys sat on either side of him, hugging him. They had really missed their father. They were homesick.

"Did you guys have fun at grandmas?" Shannon asked as he waited for his mom to come into the living room.

"Yes..." Zaine blushed, nuzzling his face into Shannon's chest.

Shannon smiled and held them tight. They started watching tv, and a few minutes later, Nel walked into the living room. Shannon stood up and walked over to his mother, hugging her.

"Hey mom..."

"Hey son..." She smiled as she wrapped her arms around him and squeezed tight.

She kissed his forehead and put her hands on either side of his face and furrowed her brows as she examined his eye. The bruise under his eye was light brown by this point.

Shannon shrugged out of her grip.

"Ma, cut it out..." Shannon said looking down.

"Shannon don't let this become an everyday thing. Next time you hit him back!" Nel exclaimed.

"MOM! It's over with. We talked about it, everything's okay, alright?" Shannon replied, looking down.

"Well where is he? Did he come back home?" Nel asked.

"No. He's in Seattle mom, visiting his mom. He's coming home soon though." Shannon smiled at the thought of Layne being back home.

"So everything's okay?" Nel asked, just wanting to be sure.

Shannon finally looked into his mother's eyes.

"Yes mom, I swear, everything's fine now. We're okay. Thanks so much for keeping the kids during these hard times, I don't know what I'd do without you ma..." Shannon smiled, hugging his mother again.

She laughed lightly, patting his back before pulling away.

"It's not a problem Shannon, I love them and they are so precious and they were so well behaved." She smiled.

Shannon furrowed his brows and looked over Nel's shoulder and then back at her.

"Where's Laina?" He asked, tilting his head.

Nel's eyes widened for a second and then she sighed. She stood beside Shannon, putting her arm around her son's lower back, rubbing it.

"Shannon, there's something I gotta tell you..." Nel began.

"Tell me what? What's going on now?" Shannon replied, heart beating fast.

"It's nothing really, but Laina started her period last night honey." Nel replied.

Shannon stood there processing this. He ran his hand through his hair and looked at his mother.

"Her period?" Shannon mumbled.

"Yes. And don't you worry yourself about this, I explained everything to her..." Nel replied, kissing Shannon's cheek.

"Well is she alright?" Shannon asked softly.

"Yeah, she's just a little cramped. It's like that sometimes, it hurts really bad. I gave her a Tylenol, she's laying down. I'll go get her." Nel replied.

"Mom, her period started?" Shannon asked again, softly, biting his lip.

Nel looked at her son and sighed, hugging him. Shannon was feeling kind of emotional. His daughter was blossoming into a woman. His little girl was growing up too fast. He hugged his mom tight.

"Shannon she's gonna be okay honey. Just relax." Nel smiled at him before walking off.

Shannon stood there, shoving his hands in his pockets and looking down, idly kicking the carpet. His daughter had been through this life changing experience and he wasn't there for her. Layne wasn't there. Shannon felt extremely guilty. He wanted this to happen at their house, so he and Layne could have talked to her. Maybe it was supposed to happen this way; the explanation probably would have sounded better coming from a woman anyway.

Shannon looked back at the giggling twins and smiled at them. They were watching tv and laughing. A few minutes later, Nel came back in the living room with her arm around Laina. Shannon looked at his daughter.

She was pale and she looked like she didn't feel good. His heart broke. Laina frowned and shrugged Nel off of her.

"Gramma I'm okay, I don't need help!" She said, irritated.

"Sorry honey!" Nel replied, pouting and glancing at Shannon.

Shannon walked up to Laina and wrapped his arms around her.

"Hey sweetie..." He replied, getting teary eyed as he hugged his daughter.

"Hey." Laina mumbled hugging him.

She frowned when she heard Shannon sniffling and she ripped away from him, frowning.

"Jesus daddy, why are you crying for?" She frowned.

She already knew why and she was pissed and felt like it was stupid.

"Because...grandma told me about what happened...you're not a little girl anymore baby. You're growing up so fast..." Shannon wiped his eyes and sniffled.

Laina rolled her eyes and crossed her arms.

"Oh my god I'm not even a teenager yet daddy! Why is this such a big deal! This is no big deal! You guys are acting like this is a national holiday or something!" Laina exclaimed.

"Sorry honey...I'm sorry..." Shannon pouted, squeezing her shoulder.

He glanced at his mom and Nel shrugged. Laina frowned and looked up at Shannon.

"Where's daddy Layne?"

"Daddy's at his mom's house honey. He's coming home real soon." Shannon smiled.

"So he's still not here!?" Laina frowned.

"He'll be home before you know it honey." Shannon smiled warmly.

Laina groaned and stormed out of the room. Shannon sighed and looked at his mom.

"The irritability comes with the territory honey. The cramps and bloating make us like that." Nel smiled.

Shannon looked down and shrugged his shoulders, sighing.

* * *

During the car ride, the twins would not stop talking about all the fun they had at grandma's. Shannon would glance at them in the rear view mirror every now and then and smile. He glanced over at Laina for a second and she was slumped down in the front seat of the Galaxie, head pressed against the window, holding her stomach.

"You hungry Laina? You think you feel good enough for pizza?" Shannon asked softly, glancing at her and smiling.

She lifted her head, looking at Shannon and was about to speak but suddenly the twins started screaming and clapping.

"Pizza daddy! We're going to get pizza!?" Shayne exclaimed.

"Yeaaaaah!" Zaine exclaimed.

Shannon sighed and shook his head.

"Boys quiet down. I don't know yet, it depends on how you're sister's feeling. You feel like getting pizza?" Shannon asked softly.

Laina looked back at her brothers, frowning slightly. They looked at her and started begging.

"Please Laina please say yes!" Zaine pouted.

"Laina pizza make you feel better!" Shayne begged.

Laina smiled a little bit through her mean demeanor, slowly looking back at Shannon. She sighed.

"Alright. I guess I can eat a few slices daddy." She sighed.

"Alright, we'll go get some pizza before we go home then." Shannon smiled.

The twins squealed with excitement and Laina covered her ears and smiled, shaking her head.

Before they knew it, they were at the Pizzeria, sitting at a table, waiting for their order to come in. Shannon sat there and watched his children converse. He smiled to himself and sighed.

He thought about the last time they were here, and Layne was with them. He looked down at the table and reached into his pocket, pulling out his cell phone. He looked through the contacts and pressed Layne's name.

He stared at the blank message box for a second. He bit his lip as he sent his husband a text.

I miss you.

Shannon sent it and sighed, putting his phone back in his pocket.

"Daddy look, they wrote their names all by themselves!" Laina smiled, sliding the twin's paper place mats over to Shannon.

"Oh my god...that's so wonderful! You boys have a smart sister teaching you! You guys are gonna be so advanced when you start kindergarten!" Shannon smiled, looking at their messy hand-writings.

After a few minutes of talking with the kids, Shannon was thinking again. He kept thinking about Layne. His chest felt warm. He bit his lip and got his phone out again, sending another text to his husband.

Got the kids back, wish you were here. We miss you.

Shannon sighed and put his phone back in his pocket again. Before they knew it, their pizza was ready and they were eating and giggling.

But it just wasn't the same. Someone was missing.

* * *

Later that night, things were almost back to normal. The kids were back in the house and Layne just needed to be there and then they could resume their lives.

The house was still quiet without Layne. Layne tended to always have the kids in stitches, laughing and giggling. He was a great father. Shannon hated the distance between them. Shannon hadn't really understood the effect that Phil's absence from Layne's life really had on Layne until this whole horrible situation.

Shannon laid in bed, idly looking through his phone. There was nothing from anybody. He sighed and put the phone on the nightstand and just laid there, when he heard his name.

"Daddy?"

Shannon jumped and sat up, turning the lamp on. He furrowed his brows.

"Laina?" He asked. "You okay?"

"My stomach hurts really bad." Laina pouted, coming over to the bed and climbing in beside Shannon.

Shannon smiled lightly and turned around, facing Laina.

"Aw baby, I'm so sorry...do you want another aspirin?" Shannon asked softly.

Laina clutched her pink pony doll that Layne had gotten for her and nodded. Shannon smiled and kissed her forehead before getting up and going downstairs to get some water and a pill for his poor daughter. When he returned, she took the pill and drank the rest of the water and laid her head in Shannon's lap. Shannon stroked her hair and smiled.

"Daddy I hate this period thing. It makes me feel so tired and it hurts really bad." Laina sighed.

"I know honey. I know, I wish I could make the pain go away...but it's nature..." Shannon smiled.

"Gramma says that this is normal, but I can't help but feel like a freak. I don't think any other girls in my grade have theirs yet." Laina pouted.

"Well you don't know that honey...when you go back to school they might have...I understand that it happens to everyone differently..." Shannon said softly, still stroking her hair.

"Yeah and it decided to hit me when I wasn't at home..." Laina pouted.

"I'm so sorry baby...but I think it's good it happened at grandma's...you had a woman to talk to..." Shannon smiled softly.

"But I'd rather talk about it with you and daddy." Laina said softly.

Shannon's chest pooled with warmth. He felt horrible that this had to happen at a time when he and Layne were fighting.

They laid there in silence, Shannon's back resting against the headboard of the bed, Laina's head in his lap and he still running his fingers through her hair.

A few minutes later, Laina spoke again.

"Daddy, why did daddy Layne leave? What were you two fighting about?"

Shannon bit his lip, sighing.

"It's not important sweetie. He's coming home." Shannon replied.

"How do you know? He's not here right now." Laina observed.

"I talked to him sweetie. He told me he was coming home soon. We made up over the phone." Shannon smiled.

"Why is daddy being this way? Daddy sounded so mean when you two were arguing. I heard it. Daddy was breaking things wasn't he? Just like the other time. Why?" Laina asked.

Shannon's heart sank at her questions. How do you explain a situation like this to a child?

"Laina honey...Layne didn't mean to be that way...he was just upset..." Shannon began.

"Upset about what?" Laina asked.

Shannon hesitated.

"Well, his daddy wasn't really there for him growing up. He's really angry about that...and his dad recently tried to call him baby. It made daddy so mad."

"I know that, but why did you two argue? Why did daddy hit you?" Laina asked.

Shannon frowned.

"You're very observant, you know that?" He sighed.

"I just don't get it. Daddy's always so nice. I don't like seeing daddy be this way..." Laina pouted.

"Well I kind of talked to Layne's daddy without him knowing, and when Layne found out, he got really mad at me, okay?" Shannon sighed.

Laina could tell by the sound of Shannon's voice that it wasn't wise to press the issue. She sighed, clutching her pony and closing her eyes. Before she knew it, her eyes were filled with tears and she started sniffling.

"Baby what's wrong?" Shannon said softly, rubbing her forehead.

"I miss daddy Layne." Laina sniffled.

"Baby he's gonna be home really soon. I promise you. He loves you guys. He never stopped thinking about you. He's coming home, we're okay. I promise." Shannon said softly.

"But I need him right now and he's not here..." Laina said softly, crying.

It broke Shannon's heart. He didn't know what to say to the child. He shifted slightly and she laid on the bed and he laid down and pulled her to him, holding her and kissing her hair.

"It's gonna be alright honey. Let's just go to sleep and you'll feel better in the morning." Shannon whispered.

Laina nodded against him and started to get comfortable. Shannon could feel a lump in his throat as they laid there. He wished he could just make all the bad feelings go away from his daughter. He held her as she started to fall asleep. Eventually he turned over and turned the lamp off and laid there, sighing and holding Laina as she slept soundly. Eventually he fell asleep himself.

* * *

Shannon could barely sleep. He opened his eyes and was surrounded by complete darkness. He sighed as he sat up slightly and his foot brushed against something at the foot of the bed. He furrowed his brows and turned the lamp on.

He looked back over and Shayne was laying across the foot of the bed, stuffed animal in tote, sleeping. His cheek was pressed against the bed and his mouth was open and he was drooling.

"Awww..." Shannon said lightly to himself and then looked over to see Zaine and Laina cuddled up together, sleeping soundly.

The twins must have wandered into the room at some point during the night and crawled into bed with he and Laina.

Shannon smiled to himself. These were the moments he lived for. His smile faded when he thought about Layne. Layne was missing this.

Shannon was fucking fed up with this. Layne just needed to fucking come home. This was frustrating.

Shannon sat there frowning, lost in his head when his phone suddenly started vibrating loudly on the nightstand. Shannon was startled and quickly grabbed it before it woke the children up. He looked at the phone.

His heart skipped a beat. It was Layne. He furrowed his brows, it was nearly 3am. Why was Layne always calling so fucking late?

Shannon answered the phone.

"Hello?" He said softly, looking around at all of the children to make sure they were still asleep.

"Shanny?"

Shannon heard Layne's desperate voice. He furrowed his brow.

"Yeah babe? You don't sound too good, what's going on?" Shannon asked.

"Shanny I'm so fucking stupid. I'm such a horrible person!" Layne sobbed into the phone.

"What? Babe no you're not..." Shannon said softly.

He slowly got off the bed and walked out of the room. He went downstairs as Layne continued to talk in his ear.

"I shouldn't have fucking gotten so mad at you. I shouldn't have left, I shouldn't have hit you Shannon. I'm so fucking sorry! I miss you so much!" Layne rambled, sobbing.

Shannon plopped down on the living room couch.

"Babe calm down and tell me what's wrong." Shannon said calmly.

"Shannon I fucking need you here...I can't do this alone...I thought I could...I need you here, you and the babies, I need you here with me. Please come over here..." Layne sobbed.

"You want me to come to Seattle?" Shannon asked softly, his heart racing.

He couldn't help but smile a little.

"Yes...please, as soon as possible. Bring the children. I miss you guys, I need you. I'm so stupid, I should have just stayed in town. I should have never left you guys..." Layne sobbed.

"It's gonna be alright. I'll book a flight as soon as possible. We'll see each other again Layne. I love you so much!" Shannon said into the phone, feeling a lump in his throat again.

"I love you too Shanny. I wish I could blink my eyes and you guys were here. I need you so much..." Layne rambled. "I miss your kisses, I miss your touch...I'm so lonely..."

"Babe I miss you so much too...I'm gonna get there no matter what it takes." Shannon smiled and sniffled.

"Good because I can't do this alone...I need you to go with me. I need you!" Layne pleaded.

"Need me for what babe? What can't you do alone?" Shannon asked.

There was silence and then Layne spoke again.

"To go talk to my dad..."

Shannon gasped.

"What? You're gonna go talk to him?" Shannon exclaimed.

"Yes...I was...but I don't wanna do it alone. I want you there." Layne sniffled.

Shannon bit his lip.

"Yeah that'd probably be a good idea for me to be there babe. I'll do anything for you. Of course I'll be there with you." Shannon smiled.

"I feel like such an ass, because of how I blew up at you...and now I actually want to talk to him Shannon...I'm so sorry..." Layne sobbed.

"No honey, it's okay. Like you said, it happened for a reason, so you could go to Seattle and realize you actually do wanna talk to your dad babe. It's gonna be alright. Once we see each other again, everything will be okay. I promise. The children really miss you ya know. They're gonna be so psyched to see you." Shannon smiled.

"I miss them too." Layne sniffled.

"So have you spoken to your dad over the phone any?" Shannon asked.

"No...I was just kind of going to go over there..." Layne sniffled.

"Oh. Alright. Whatever you want to do babe, I'll be there right behind you." Shannon smiled.

"I don't deserve you. I take you for granted Shannon. I'm so fucking sorry. I hate this distance...if I were there right now, I'd fucking kiss you, I'd fucking touch you. I need you so bad. I don't know what I was thinking coming over here all by myself...I don't wanna be alone anymore!" Layne started rambling again.

Shannon chuckled lightly.

"Your mom's not gonna mind us coming over there?" Shannon asked.

"No of course not, she'll love to be able to see the kids." Layne sniffled.

"Layne don't you worry. We'll be there as soon as we can. I'll book a flight tomorrow and hopefully we can fly right out tomorrow. We're gonna get there baby. You should see the babies. I know they really fucking miss you because their all sleeping in our bed right now." Shannon chuckled.

Layne sniffled.

"All of them?" He asked softly.

"Yeah. It's so cute. I wish you were here so you could be in the bed too." Shannon smiled.

"But wouldn't it be cramped with all of us in it?" Layne smiled.

"Yes but it'd be so cute..." Shannon laughed lightly.

Layne laughed too and sniffled.

"You nervous about talking to your dad?" Shannon asked softly.

"Yeah..." Layne said softly.

"I won't let him hurt you again Layne. If he does, that's it. This is the last chance. But I seriously think this will be good for you. He does seem like he's really got himself together Layne. I think this will be good for you." Shannon said softly.

"Maybe." Layne said softly.

* * *

The boys talked into the early morning hours. Shannon didn't get any sleep. He couldn't book their flights over the computer since Layne had destroyed their monitor and he hadn't purchased a new one yet. He set to work, getting on the phone, calling the airport in Indianapolis and reserving a flight for noon. He needed time to get the children up and let them know what was going on.

Everything was coming together. He would see his husband again soon.

* * *

During the flight, Shannon thought about how Layne had changed his mind about his father. Shannon smiled to himself. Layne knew that Shannon had good judgement about things. When had Shannon ever been wrong about something? Never. Shannon cared about Layne deeply and he just wanted him to live a normal, carefree life.

This would be good for Layne. This would be good for the kids. He kept telling himself this.


	9. Going To Seattle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Phil was starting to freak out. He sounded kind of like Layne. In a way, that was sort of cute...Shannon couldn't help but smirk to himself. Like father, like son.

Everything was worked out. The flight left at noon. Shannon woke the kids up around 9am. They would be staying in Seattle at least for 2 weeks. Shannon helped the twins get ready and helped the kids pack their bags and he had to pack his own bag. To eliminate a bunch of unnecessary situations, he got his mom to drive them to the capital of Indiana to the airport. They were dropped off and he picked up the tickets, put the bags in the bag area and the ball was rolling. Things went smoothly. Before he knew it, they were on their flight to Seattle, Washington. It was a 4 hour flight from Indiana to Washington.

Shannon felt jittery during the flight. He looked over to the right to see Laina playing her pink gameboy. He looked over across the aisle to see the twins playing their green and blue gameboys. He sighed and sat back in his seat. He couldn't wait to see Layne.

He got his phone out of his pocket and started looking through his contacts. He stopped when he got to Phil's number. He still had Phil's number. He hadn't talked to him in a while because of all the shit that had went down. Shannon hesitated. He looked around at the children again who were all consumed in their electronic toys. He sighed and pressed Phil's number and relaxed in his seat.

He fumbled with the hem of his shirt with his free hand as the phone began to ring. For a second, he figured that Phil wasn't gonna answer the phone. Just as he was about to end the call, he heard a gruff voice answer the phone.

"Hello?"

"Phil?" Shannon asked.

"Shannon? Hey Shannon!" Phil smiled into the phone.

Shannon smiled to himself a bit, Phil remembered his voice. He hadn't spoken to him in a while.

"Hey Phil, how's everything been going?" Shannon asked, looking down at his lap.

"Good, real good. Just working and paying the bills. You know how that goes..." Phil chuckled.

"Yeah. I do." Shannon smiled, stretching his legs out and slumping down in the seat.

Laina looked over at her father and furrowed a brow, quickly going back to her gameboy.

"I haven't heard from you in a few weeks. What's been going on? I didn't call because I wasn't sure if you guys were on vacation or what. I didn't want to impose." Phil replied.

Shannon sighed into the phone, sitting back up.

"Yeah, well me and Layne kind of had a fight." Shannon said softly.

Laina heard him and was glancing over at Shannon, nosy. Shannon glanced at her and then back towards the front.

"A fight? Is everything alright?" Phil asked.

"Yeah, it's fine now. It was sort of over you." Shannon replied softly.

"Over me? I don't understand..." Phil mumbled.

"He found out I was talking to you, to make a long story short, and he wasn't very happy about it. He left." Shannon sighed.

"Shit Shannon. I'm so damned sorry. I feel bad. I should have just left things alone, I shouldn't have tried to contact him...he doesn't wanna see me...I guess I'm reaping what I sowed...I'll leave him alone forever then...that's what he wants. He-"

"Whoa whoa, Phil, calm down!" Shannon exclaimed into the phone.

Phil was starting to freak out. He sounded kind of like Layne. In a way, that was sort of cute...Shannon couldn't help but smirk to himself. Like father, like son.

"Phil, we're fine now. Layne's in Seattle, and me and the kids are coming out there to meet up with him." Shannon smiled.

"Seattle? Layne's here? Right now, in the city?" Phil asked.

"Yeah. He's staying with his mom and we're coming too to meet up with him. Do you know why he came to Seattle?" Shannon smiled lightly.

There was silence. Phil then spoke.

"No. Why?"

Shannon smiled sheepishly. He loved shit like this. He loved being the "hand of god" as his mother had so delicately put it.

"Because he was thinking about you. Even though he was pissed off, he was thinking about you. I gotta say, he definitely wants to see you Phil." Shannon smiled.

"Really?" Phil asked softly.

"Yeah. I really think he does. I'm just gonna give you a heads up. We're probably gonna be coming over there within the next few days. But don't act like you know when we show up at your doorstep. I don't know how this is gonna go down...I don't know how Layne's gonna be...he's real unstable these days. But I have this gut feeling that things are gonna work out. And if things go smoothly...well then maybe you can meet the children." Shannon smiled.

"I'd like that." Phil smiled.

"Phil, just promise me that if this turns out to be good...promise me that you'll stay in Layne's life this time. Promise me you won't fuck up anymore. Layne's too old for this shit. He's been through too much shit. He can't take much more. He's not taking any shit off of anybody anymore. And I won't sit there and let him either. So many people have treated Layne wrong...and you gotta be very special for him to forgive you. And I just think Layne's leaning towards forgiving you Phil...but you gotta be real with Layne. No more showing up for a while and leaving. Because I'm just gonna tell you up front, if you leave this time...that's it Phil. No more. You'll never see Layne again. We've no time for that bullshit anymore."

"...I understand Shannon...and I swear to you I'm nothing like I was back then. I'm nothing like I was...You seem like a wonderful person from our conversations Shannon. I can't wait to meet you. You seem to have really gotten my son straight, from what you say. I'm so glad you came into his life. I wish I could have helped him, but I wasn't in a good place back then either. But I am now. I just hope that Layne doesn't get too mad when you guys come over.

I can't believe he actually wants to see me. I thought he'd never come around..." Phil replied.

"I don't know what goes through that head of Layne's. He's a mysterious man sometimes. He was really pissed when you started contacting him again, but now all of a sudden he wants to see you. I love him to death..." Shannon smiled.

"That's just great Shannon." Phil smiled.

Shannon laughed lightly and bit his lip. He glanced at the children again to make sure they were okay. They were still entranced in their electronic toys.

"I wish I could let you talk to the children, but I better not do that until Layne speaks to you first. Me and the kids are on a plane right now on the way to Seattle." Shannon smiled.

"That's okay. You're right, I don't wanna impose too much. I'll just talk to Layne first. And I hope everything works out." Phil replied.

"Yeah. Me too. Well, just remember Phil, be expecting us soon. I just wanted to give you a call and let you know what's going on." Shannon smiled.

"Alright Shannon. I guess I'll see you soon then." Phil smiled.

"Yes. Alright, bye."

Shannon ended the call and held his phone to his chest and smiled. He looked over at Laina and smiled, nudging her lightly with his shoulder.

"Hey, you ready to see your daddy?" Shannon smiled.

Laina never looked up from her gameboy.

"I guess." She mumbled.

"He'll be glad to see you." Shannon smiled softly.

Laina smiled lightly, never looking up at Shannon. Shannon sat back in his seat and smiled, looking over at the twins. Shayne was leaned over in his seat asleep and Zaine was still playing his gameboy. Shannon sighed and closed his eyes. The family would be reunited soon.

* * *

The flight seemed like it took forever. Shannon fell asleep. He was awoken by a flight attendant when it was close to over and was instructed to put his seat belt on.

It wasn't long after he was woken up that the plane was landing in Seattle. There was a 3 hour time difference so the time was 1pm when they landed.

The kids were gathered and they filed off the plane, going in and getting their bags out of the baggage claim area. Shannon's heart beat fast as he and the kids walked through the airport and to the lobby. Shannon had his phone to his ear with one hand as he dragged his suitcase behind him with the other. The kids quietly walked around him. Shannon was calling Layne.

"Hello?" Layne answered the phone.

"Babe, we're here!" Shannon exclaimed into the phone, looking around. "Where are you? I don't see you, there's a shitload of people in here today!"

"I'm here in the lobby babe, near the entrance..." Layne said into the phone.

"God I can't wait to fucking see you, it feels like I'm so close but so far...Fuck..." Shannon muttered into the phone as he continued to walk.

Layne instructed Shannon over the phone which ways to go and turn to get to the lobby. At one point Zaine had stopped to stare at something and they had to stop and collect him so he wouldn't get lost. In a matter of minutes, Shannon was standing there, phone to his ear, face to face with his husband who was yards away from him, his phone to his ear as well.

Both men smirked, slowly ending the calls and putting their phones away, staring at each other.

"Daddy Layne!" Zaine screamed, dropping his bag and running towards Layne.

Shayne screamed as well and lunged towards Layne behind his brother. Laina stood beside Shannon, just looking.

Layne kneeled down and wrapped his long arms around his boys, blushing and smiling when both boys kissed his cheeks.

"Hey guys! I missed you so much! Oh it's so good to see you! I love you guys!" Layne cooed hugging his boys.

Shannon smiled as he watched them. After a few minutes of hugging and talking with the twins, Layne stood up, taking their hands and slowly making his way to Shannon. Shannon looked at Layne and smiled and Layne smiled back at him. Layne dropped the boys hands to look at Laina.

Shannon looked over as Layne came up to her and kneeled down. She frowned and looked away from him. Layne grabbed both of her upper arms and rubbed them up and down.

"Hey Laina...hey baby...I missed you so much..." Layne smiled at her, trying to get her to meet his gaze.

"I'm real sorry honey. I'm so sorry." Layne said softly. "Please don't be mad at me."

Laina frowned, looking down at Layne.

"C'mon sweetie...I said I was sorry. I promise you, I'll never leave again...everything's okay now. I swear to you...I love you so much baby girl...please don't be mad at me...it breaks my heart." Layne pleaded looking into his daughter's eyes.

Laina tried to keep frowning but she couldn't help but smile a little. Layne looked up at her and smiled and finally Laina gave in, wrapping her arms around Layne's neck tight and hugging him, burying her face into his neck.

Shannon smiled as they embraced. Finally, Layne stood up and looked at Shannon, biting his lip. He stepped up and wrapped his arms around Shannon and pulled him into a hug.

Shannon hugged him back tight, pressing his nose and lips to Layne's temple, kissing him. Layne pulled away, arms still wrapped around Shannon.

"Hey babe..." Layne smiled.

"Hey." Shannon smiled.

He was so fucking relieved to finally see Layne again. He felt like a weight had been lifted off of his shoulders.

* * *

The car ride was silent as Layne drove their SUV, steering with one hand, his other hand on Shannon's thigh, dangerously close to his groin. Every now and then, Layne would squeeze. Little was said between the two and Shannon stared out of the window silently.

Layne conversed with the kids during the drive to Layne's mom's house. Once there, Layne helped them get their bags and they all went into the house. They were greeted happily by Layne's mom Nancy, who was ecstatic to see that Shannon had came, with the kids. She was excited to see Layne's children; she hardly ever got to see them. The children were a little scared as Nancy hugged them tightly and placed kisses on their face; they didn't hardly know her.

Nancy greeted Shannon with hugs and kisses as well. It was obvious she didn't know what was going on. She didn't know that Shannon and Layne had just gotten over a fight. Shannon wondered if Layne had told her that he had planned on going to speak with his father. It didn't seem like he had told her anything about that. After about an hour of catching up and conversation with Layne's mom, Shannon and Layne left the kids in the living room with their other grandma and they slipped away to the back of the house, carrying all the bags to the guest room.

Shannon sat on the bed and bounced on it a bit, looking around.

"Where are the children gonna sleep?" Shannon asked.

"We'll make pallets for them in the living room to sleep on." Layne replied, locking the door and turning around, his hands behind his back as he stared at Shannon sitting on the bed.

"What?" Shannon smirked, watching Layne watching him.

"Why don't ya get more comfortable babe?" Layne smirked, walking over to the bed and sitting beside Shannon.

"For what?" Shannon asked, brows furrowed.

Layne slid closer to Shannon, wrapping his arms around him and pressing his lips to Shannon's neck, placing soft kisses on the sensitive flesh. Shannon shrugged his shoulders, sighing lightly, before finally relaxing and tilting his head, letting Layne kiss his flesh. Layne kissed up Shannon's neck and placed a kiss behind Shannon's ear, then darted his tongue out along Shannon's ear lobe, sucking the tender flesh into his mouth. Shannon shivered, shrugging his shoulder, his eyes falling closed.

"Babe...what are you doing?" Shannon asked softly, sighing when Layne pulled away, his forehead still pressed to Shannon's temple.

"Shannon I'm so glad you're here...I never wanna fight again. I'm real fucking sorry. I need to show you how sorry I am babe." Layne said softly, kissing Shannon's cheeks.

Shannon's face flushed. Layne saw the light bruise under Shannon's eye that was barely visible, almost gone. He placed kisses under Shannon's eye, muttering an apology.

"But Layne...this, I just got here...your mom and the kids are right in the other room...this isn't our home...." Shannon stuttered.

"Mom's not worried about us, she has the kids to entertain her. They'll be alright Shannon. Just relax...you know what the best part about having a fight is?" Layne nearly whispered in Shannon's ear, making Shannon shiver.

He sucked on Shannon's earlobe again, driving the man wild.

"...what?" Shannon managed to belt out, shrugging his shoulder.

Layne bit Shannon's earlobe lightly as he pulled away, laughing.

"The part where we make up." Layne said softly, his hand moving down to palm Shannon's crotch.

* * *

A towel was laid out on the bed for courtesy. Clothes were in a pile on the floor beside the bed. Shannon was on back, holding his legs up as Layne pushed into him. Layne was leaned down, his lips pressed against Shannon's, his hands on either side of his husband, flat on the bed as he ravaged him. Their bodies were pressed together in hot, sweaty passion and light moans escaped Layne's lips as they brushed against Shannon's.

Layne pulled away slightly as he slowly and quietly fucked his husband, keeping his forehead pressed against Shannon's.

"I'm sorry...god I felt like we haven't done this in forever...it feels so good, as always, even better this time..." Layne whispered quickly.

He buried his face into Shannon's neck, pressing hot, wet kisses to the flesh and sucking as he moved against him. Shannon bit his lip and closed his eyes, sighing deeply as he enjoyed his husband's embrace. It was immienent that they were going to do this. Both men were practically pining for each other.

Layne lifted back up again, looking down at Shannon as he fucked him, looking deep into his eyes. He was getting close. He tried to keep his eyes open.

"I love you..so much..." Layne whispered, hitting Shannon hard.

Shannon arched his back, sighing as he held his legs up. He opened his eyes and stared into Layne's eyes. Layne kept his eyes open as long as he could, until finally the pleasure was too much for him. Shannon watched with a smirk on his face as Layne's brows furrowed and his mouth opened slightly, a light moan escaping his lips.

His thrusts became uncoordinated as he pounded into Shannon, shaking and gritting his teeth, eyes shut tight, curls bouncing on his forehead as he released inside of his husband.

Shannon laughed lightly, dropping his legs when Layne was finished. Layne pulled out of Shannon, still straddling him, breathing hard. He ran a hand through his sweaty curls, matting them back slightly. He wasn't done yet. He shakily brought Shannon's arms up over his head, holding his arms above his head as he leaned down, kissing Shannon.

Shannon arched his back and moaned as their tongues touched. Shannon lifted his head back as Layne kissed down his chin, Shannon's lower lip being tugged by Layne as he pulled away and kissed down.

Layne held Shannon's arms over his head as he kissed down his neck, down his chest, and when his lips made it to Shannon's stomach, he brought his arms back down, kissing his way down Shannon's stomach to Shannon's thighs. Shannon sighed, looking down at Layne as he ran his hands through Layne's curls. Shannon moaned lightly as Layne nipped and kissed at his thighs.

"This shouldn't take long..." Layne smirked up at Shannon.

Shannon's hands were still intertwined in his curls as Layne buried his face into Shannon's lap. Shannon immediately started arching his hips into Layne's mouth as Layne bobbed his head up and down his cock, working the pleasure spots with his tongue. Layne stroked Shannon's hips as he worked his mouth around his husband's cock.

Shannon continued to keep his hands intertwined in Layne's curls, and Layne knew he was close when Shannon started pulling on his hair lightly. Layne smirked around Shannon's cock, reaching down and stroking him now, his lips still wrapped around the tip and tongue pressing against the urethral opening. Layne started moaning lightly around Shannon's tip, his eyes flickering open to glance up at his husband through his curls.

"Fuck don't stop babe...I'm almost there..." Shannon breathed, quickly bucking his hips towards Layne's face, making Layne's head bounce even fast over his groin.

Layne's brows furrowed as Shannon shook with pleasure, biting his knuckle and filling Layne's mouth with liquid lust.

Layne pulled his mouth off of Shannon, wiping it and crawling back up his relaxed husband.

Layne laid on top of him, kissing his neck and running his fingers through Shannon's hair.

"Feel good?" He smiled brightly.

Shannon finally opened his eyes, looking at Layne with nothing but love in his eyes.

"Hell yes, better then ever." Shannon sighed and smiled.

"Good." Layne smiled, placing kisses all over Shannon's face.

"I love you." Shannon smiled.

* * *

About an hour after they disappeared, they reappeared in the living room. Nancy was talking to the kids. They all looked up when Shannon and Layne walked in, hand in hand.

"Oh Layne, Liz is coming over later for dinner. She's bringing Oscar. He's gotten so big!" Nancy smiled.

"Really? That's cool. This'll be like a family reunion!" Layne smiled.

They joined the kids and Nancy, sitting around on the furniture. Shannon and Nancy got to talking with the twins and Layne sat beside Laina, putting his arm around her.

"Daddy Shannon told me what happened to you. Are you okay?" Layne asked softly.

Laina blushed, looking at her daddy before wrapping her arms around his torso and hugging him.

"Yeah I'm okay. It doesn't hurt as much as it did on the first day." Laina smiled, squeezing her daddy.

"I wanna take you guys up in the space needle. It's this really tall building, it takes you way up into the air, it has shops and restaurants at the top. It's really neat, what do you think about that?" Layne smiled, kissing her head.

"That sounds fun daddy, as long as I get to be with you!" Laina smiled.

Layne smiled and looked around at Shannon talking to his mother. He had never seen his mom so happy. He sat there as he held his daughter and started thinking about Phil.

His smile faded. What did he really want out of the man? Layne was grown with his own family now. He already had the answers of why Phil wasn't there for him when he was growing up. It was because his dad was a fucking junkie.

He would want to know why Phil was always coming and going out of his life. Why Phil didn't come back to help him in the late 90s, when he was far gone on the smack and Phil was clean.

He always, deep down, wanted a relationship with his dad. He wanted a normal relationship. Maybe they could be friends now. Shannon seemed to really want Layne to talk to him. Layne knew that Shannon really wanted the children to meet him. Layne wasn't stupid; he knew his husband well.

He stared at Shannon as he was processing all of this and Shannon glanced at him and smiled, puckering his lips at him. Layne smiled and then looked into space again.

Maybe it was time to try being understanding instead of angry.


	10. Mind Fuck

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Hey." Layne said softly, brows slightly furrowed as he looked down, then back up at Phil.

The first part of the week was spent with family. Layne and his mom and sister, and all the kids, going around Seattle so Layne and Shannon's children could see the sites. They went to the Space Needle and the children were amazed. It was sort of like an unexpected family summer vacation. Layne and Shannon wore caps and sunglasses when they were out on the streets, in fear of anyone recognizing them. Seattle had been a dark place for them. Shannon always knew that they'd be back here one day, somehow.

* * *

Layne had broke down and spoke to his step brother Chris, whom he hadn't spoken to in a long time. That's how he got the address to Phil's house. Phil lived on the outskirts of Seattle. Layne didn't know that Shannon had already spoken to Phil before he arrived in Seattle. Shannon sure did hope Phil would be home. It had been a week since Shannon arrived. Layne was finally ready to go see his dad.

Shannon was driving the SUV and Layne was silent, arms crossed and looking out the window. The GPS blurted out directions and Shannon would follow them. After a few minutes of riding in silence, Shannon spoke to Layne.

"You nervous babe?" Shannon asked.

"Hm?" Layne asked, looking over at Shannon.

"I said, you nervous about seeing your dad?" Shannon smiled.

"Oh. Not really. Maybe just a little." Layne sighed, looking back out of the window.

"Everything's gonna be alright Layne. If you aren't comfortable with this, just squeeze my hand and I'll take that as a cue for us to leave. I'll tell him we have to get going. Whatever's comfortable for you babe. I'm so proud of you for doing this. I know it's not easy." Shannon sighed as he continued to follow the directions the GPS screamed at him.

"I fucking love you so much Shannon." Layne sighed.

Shannon smiled, glancing over at Layne, who was still looking out the window, arms crossed over his chest, brows slightly furrowed. Shannon looked back at the road.

"I love you too Layne." Shannon smiled.

Layne continued talking.

"You were the only person who I felt like ever gave a fuck about me when I was bad off. I don't think I could ever fucking fully repay you for what you done for me. Shannon my family is so fucking fucked up. I love my mom, but she's so fucking full of shit. I hate how she sits there like everything is peachy fucking keen. She acts like things never happened, like nothing ever set into motion why I did the things I used to do." Layne sighed.

Shannon bit his lip, silent as he listened to his husband.

"Mom fucking lied to me when I was little. She fucking lied to her little boy. She told me my dad was dead. That's the fucking shit that started this cloud of gray." Layne frowned.

Shannon furrowed his brows.

"She told you your dad was dead?" He questioned.

"Yeah, when I was fucking 8 years old, dad had left us, because he was fucked up on H. I found this out when I was a teenager. Instead of fucking telling me the truth, she fucking lied to me and told me my dad was dead. I fucking loved him when I was a kid, even though he was fucked up. I knew he wasn't dead. The way things had happened Shannon, I knew my dad wasn't fucking dead. It wasn't until I was a teenager that I started to look for him and try to find out what happened.

I had always missed my dad and I wanted him around. When I was a teenager and I started to be in bands, I looked around for my dad, and what I found, I didn't fucking like. I found out that he was a fucking junkie. So I said fuck it for a while and I fucking forgot about him." Layne sighed, slumping in his seat.

"Layne babe, I'm so sorry about that." Shannon sighed, not really knowing what to say to his husband.

"It's alright Shannon. You're right, it's just the hand I was dealt. There's no use in harping on about the past. I just have to move on I guess. But Mom did some fucked up shit to me too to fuck my head up.

She's not a fucking saint. She's my mom, I have to love her but she's not a fucking saint." Layne sighed.

"What did she do?" Shannon asked, wanting to know.

"Well, first there's the thing about telling me my dad died instead of saying daddy left and hes not coming back. Then I can remember when I started music, I just remember in high school she was all for it, she acted like she supported me.

You know how hard it is at first when you're starting out your career babe. Well I was still staying at home, going out with the band all night, partying to take my mind off of all the bullshit with my broken, suppressed feelings family, and coming home and sleeping all day, just to go do it again.

I reckon she felt like I wasn't doing shit with my life. After high school we butted heads a lot. We were always arguing. She always screamed at me to get a job. I had a job, I wasn't getting paid much, all the money I was making had to go to the band. We just had to wait to make it big. This was my band before Alice in Chains mind you...but it was like Mom didn't fucking believe in me anymore. All she saw was the drinking and the drugs I was doing at the time.

I was actually fucking working. But I loved what I was doing with my job.

The final straw came one day, when I was home. I remember I was getting ready to go out with the boys in the band. We were gonna practice or whatever. And I needed a dress, because we were gonna wear dresses or some shit. I decide it's easier just to snag one of my mom's dresses. So I go to her room. I was getting ready to take a shower but I needed to pick out a dress first.

So I see she has some clothes laid out on her bed. She wasn't in her room at the time. I can't really remember what she was doing. But I fucking remember that I sifted through the clothes she had on her bed, looking for something and I didn't see anything.

I looked in her closet and I didn't see anything. I was in a fucking hurry. I rushed out to go to the bathroom to take a shower. Now I don't remember that I left the clothes on her bed a mess.

She claimed after the fact when we talked about it, years later, that I pissed her off because I wasn't doing anything with my life but mooching off of her and my step-dad and being lazy. She claims I strewed the clothes on the bed.

Well I get out of the shower and my mom rushes in my face and starts screaming at me Shannon.

She told me to get dressed and get the fuck out.

Shannon we screamed at each other and she called me lazy and she told me I wasn't going anywhere with this music thing and that it was just all stupid and that I needed to get a job.

She threw all of my clothes in the front yard! All of my clothes and all of my belongings! Shannon who the fuck does that?

To this day, I still process it in my mind. Why would you fucking do that to your child? Why wouldn't you support them and help them with the things they want to do?

I wanted to do the music thing. I literally had to make it on my own. Mom fucking kicked me out. It was like a white trash world war that day, I was in the front yard, picking up my belongings. Mom had kicked me out. She didn't even come outside to help me.

This was all because she claimed that I had moved the clothes around on her bed. It pissed her off, and she went off like that on me.

Shannon who does that? To their own fucking child?"

Layne sighed, running his hand through his curls, looking down at his lap, a stern frown on his face.

"I don't know babe. I'm really fucking sorry. I'm really fucking sorry that you're mom had to be that way." Was all Shannon could muster.

Shannon didn't know what to say to that. Shannon's mom always supported him in whatever he did. Shannon was his mom's pride and joy.

"Mental illness runs in my side of the family I fucking swear. Mom's fucking mental when she wants to be. And she never tried to understand my music. Not like your mom understands your music Shannon.

She just never cared. I wanted her to care. I wanted her to hear what I was writing about. Shannon she never cared. She said to me one time she just couldn't get into it. That fucking hurt you know?

My mom, she's so fucking, what's the word...uh uhm...its like she doesn't talk about feelings. She holds all that shit in. She doesn't like to talk about what she did wrong. It's fucking annoying.

And I'll tell you another fucked up thing she did Shannon. Before I went into seclusion in that condo...I had tried to go to rehab. I never told you this..." Layne began.

Shannon gasped.

"What? You did?" Shannon asked, glancing over at Layne and then back at the road.

"Yeah, I did. It was always a series of big ups and down for me. A lot of people acted like they cared about me, but I just could tell that they really didn't care. Not like you care babe...but yes I tried to go to rehab once before I shut everyone out.

I had it all set up and everything. I had taken that first step...alone. I was tired of being alone. It was as if everyone expected me to do this shit myself. I couldn't do that shit alone. I just couldn't. I didn't have the balls. I needed someone to be there for me.

I turned to Mom.

Do you know what Mom said to me when I asked her to fucking go with me to rehab on the first day, to fucking support me...do you know what she fucking said?" Layne asked.

"What babe?" Shannon asked softly, a pout on his face.

He figured this would not be good.

"She fucking told me she didn't feel comfortable going to a place like that. She said that she didn't have a problem and there was no point in her going there? Can you fucking believe that Shannon? That she said that?

My own fucking mother. Her son is there, fucking struggling, fucking wanting help. Fucking wanting his mother to be there and she says some shit like that.

Shannon your mom is honestly more of a mom to me than my own mother.

The only fucking reason I came out here honestly was because I wanna speak to Phil, see what he has to say. Mom's house was just a place to stay at.

I reckon I need to let her see me every few years. I'm content with a few phone calls a year and maybe a holiday visit every few years. I just wanna get this shit over with and get my children out of that house as fast as possible.

I hope she's not over there poisoning my poor babies minds. Shannon my side of the family is so fucked up."

Layne sighed and the tears started. He put his hands over his face and he started sobbing. Shannon's heart ached for his husband. Layne had never told him any of this stuff about his mother before. This thing was deeper than Shannon had thought.

Shannon's brows were furrowed as he sat there driving for a second, listening to his husband cry. He finally decided to pull into the parking lot of a convenience store so he could embrace his husband. It broke his heart to hear Layne cry.

Shannon quickly parked the car and took his seat-belt off, getting out of the car and rushing out. Layne had realized what Shannon was up to and by the time he got out of the car on his side, he met up with Shannon.

Shannon wrapped his arms around Layne and Layne embraced him. Layne buried his face in Shannon's shoulder, sobbing lightly. Shannon sighed, running his hand through Layne's curls, pressing kisses to his temple, trying to calm him down.

"Babe...babe it's okay. That shit's over now. I'm sorry your mom acted that way. It's okay now. Everything's okay. You're around people who love you. I love you, our kids love you. Like you said, you have my mom. She loves you." Shannon nearly whispered.

Layne looked up into Shannon's eyes as they continued to hold each other, tears pouring down his face.

"Your mom probably knows I hit you. She probably doesn't like me anymore. She'll act like she does, but she probably thinks I'm gonna start beating on you or something. I just know it." Layne cried.

"Layne I promise you my Mom doesn't think that about you. Stop assuming crazy shit babe. You have a place where you're needed and loved and wanted...with me, in Indiana. This place, don't let it fucking get you down. I'm here with you, just remember. I fucking love you so much Layne, you should think about that when these bad thoughts creep into your head. I fucking love you." Shannon replied, looking straight into his eyes.

"Aw Shanny...I fucking love you too..." Layne sniffled, leaning in and kissing his husband softly.

Layne pulled away, pressing his forehead against Shannon's. He bit his lip and his shoulders shook as more tears fell. Shannon sighed, holding him tight, waiting patiently for Layne to get this ball of emotion out of his system.

"I'm so fucking sorry I hit you. That was the most stupidest thing I've ever fucking done. I feel so fucking bad that I fucking hit you. The one person who truly cares, the father of my children, I fucking hit you. The man who carried my beautiful daughter, the man who fucking saved me, who fucking supported me through my whole fucking ordeal, who took me in, without judgement, who fucking made me who I am today, and I fucking hit you.

I'm so fucking sorry Shannon. Fuck I hate myself for hitting you." Layne cried.

"Babe...my eye's practically healed now. I forgive you. I know you didn't mean it. Things were just crazy that day. I wish you hadn't found out I was talking to Phil that way. I was trying to build you up, to get you to talk to him, then I was gonna tell you I had been talking to him. You were just angry. It's okay, people make mistakes." Shannon sighed, kissing Layne's lips as their foreheads stayed pressed together.

"You're such a forgiving person Shannon. I wish I could be more like you. It's hard for me to let things go. You forgive so easily. You forgave me for fucking abandoning you. You forgave me for turning my back on you when you told me you were carrying Laina. I was so fucking stupid. My head was so fucking messed up for years. I wish I could go back and change how I was. We would have been together sooner, I could have seen Laina as a baby..." Layne sniffled.

"I wouldn't change the way things went down for anything. Things worked out for the best. This shit happened for a reason Layne. You're a great father. Our children are so normal and loved. Despite all the shit that happened to you, you made out good baby. You're a great dad." Shannon smiled and sighed.

Layne laughed lightly, sniffling, smiling as they started to kiss again. Shannon pulled away slowly, holding Layne's hands and smiling.

"This fight is over Layne. Don't fucking think about it anymore. It's over. Let's just focus on now. Are you gonna be okay babe? Do you still want to go talk to your father? You let out a lot a while ago. As I said, that is fucked up how your mother mind fucked you like that, but you need to remember that I fucking love you. Are you gonna be okay?" Shannon asked, smiling.

"Yeah. Yeah I think I am. Yeah, I still wanna go." Layne sniffled, wiping his eyes.

"Good. Get yourself together baby. Everything's alright." Shannon smiled, rubbing Layne's shoulders.

Layne smiled as he looked at his wonderful husband. Shannon was his everything. He felt like Shannon was the only sane and stable person in his life who hadn't done something to fuck Layne's head up. Shannon truly cared.

* * *

 

Arriving at destination.

 

The GPS screamed at Shannon. Shannon nearly passed the house as the GPS screamed out. Shannon nearly slammed on breaks, he and Layne jerking forward slightly. Shannon threw an arm over Layne's seat, looking back as he backed up quickly in the street and pulled into the small drive way, beside a white Ford F150 truck.

Shannon shut the SUV off and looked over at Layne who looked at him, brows raised.

"Well um, babe this is apparently it." Shannon sighed.

"Yeah, I guess it is." Layne sighed.

"You ready to go?" Shannon asked.

"Yeah. I guess." Layne said softly, biting his lip, looking down.

"Let's go." Shannon said softly.

They slowly got out of the car, meeting up at the back of the SUV. Layne had his hands shoved into his pockets. He looked around the neighborhood where his dad was living.

"Nice, quiet neighborhood huh?" Layne sighed, squinting his eyes for a few seconds.

"Yeah. Seems like a nice, quaint little house too." Shannon smiled.

Layne's head whipped over to Phil's house. It was small and had white siding on it and black shingles. A normal, middle class looking house.

Shannon smiled warmly at Layne and held his hand out. Layne looked at Shannon's hand and let out another deep sigh.

"Nerves?" Shannon asked as Layne took his hands out of his pockets, putting his hand into his husband's.

"Yeah." Layne said, voice cracking slightly.

He held onto Shannon's hand and they took a few steps towards the porch.

"Layne? You have a death grip on my hand. Does that mean you wanna leave already?" Shannon asked, smirking.

Layne was nervous and holding onto Shannon with the jaws of life.

"Uhm, babe I think we should change that signal, should I need to use it. How about I squeeze your thigh if I get overwhelmed? Okay?" Layne laughed nervously.

"Alright, that'll work. Just calm down babe." Shannon smiled.

He leaned over and pressed his lips to Layne's kissing Layne softly. Layne sighed into the kiss, blinking slowly as Shannon pulled away.

"It's gonna be alright." Shannon assured his husband with a warm smile.

Shannon held Layne's hand, leading him onto the porch. Layne was silent as they stood there. Layne nearly held his breath as Shannon leaned forward, pressing the doorknob. They could hear the cliche ringing of the doorbell.

Shannon stepped back, straightening his shirt and grabbed Layne's hand, holding it. Layne's heart rate started to pick up.

Each second seemed like an eternity as they waited for Phil to come to the door. In reality, it was not long as they heard the door knob being fumbled with.

Layne's eyes darted down to the doorknob as it turned, nearly in slow motion. The door was pushed open. Layne's eyes were still at the same spot, staring at blue jeans.

Meanwhile Shannon has a big smile on his face as he saw Layne's father, up close and personal for the first time. Phil furrowed his brow as he looked at Shannon, a bit confused at first.

"Can I help you?" He asked quickly, looking from Shannon and then to Layne.

Layne slowly brought his eyes up, looking into the eyes of Phil. There was an awkward silence between the three.

Meanwhile Shannon stared at Phil in awe. This was the man that he had been conversing with over the phone. He had seen one or two pictures of him through emails, but this was him in the flesh. He had the same stature as Layne, tall and skinny. He had the same smirk, similar facial structure, except he was much older than Layne.

His cheeks and nose were red, most likely from working in construction.

The silence was getting awkward as they all stood there. Layne stared at his father and his father stared at him. Shannon looked at them, back and forth, brows furrowed.

Shannon was going to speak, but Phil spoke first, looking at Layne.

"Hey Layne." He said softly.

He recognized his son immediately.

"Hey." Layne said softly, brows slightly furrowed as he looked down, then back up at Phil.

Shannon could feel Layne's grip on his hand tighten. Phil smiled softly and looked from Layne to Shannon.

"You must be Shannon." Phil smiled, holding his hand out.

"Yeah. I'm Shannon." Shannon smiled, dropping Layne's hand to shake Phil's hand.

"It's nice to meet you finally." Phil replied.

His replies to Shannon were short. He was scared to mention anything about how they had been talking. He had no idea what was going through Layne's mind or if Layne would snap if he mentioned it.

"Nice to meet you too." Shannon smiled.

As soon as he brought his hand back down to his side, Layne grabbed it again.

"So, uh, what's up? This is a um, surprise..." Phil said cautiously, looking back at Layne.

Layne's gaze was intimidating. Phil had no idea what Layne was thinking.

"Are you busy right now? We could come back later if you're busy." Shannon replied quickly, trying to play it off.

Phil looked back to Shannon.

"Oh no, I'm not busy, I was just watching TV and cleaning up a bit. Uh...come on in, if you want..." He said softly, stepping aside the thresh hold, welcoming Shannon and Layne into his home.

Shannon smiled, looking over to Layne, who was still staring, not a trace of emotion on his face.

Shannon was surprised when Layne took the first step forward. He followed behind Layne as they walked into the house, brushing past Phil.

Phil closed the door behind them. They were here. This was it. Layne was going to talk to Phil.

Tensions were high.


	11. Phil and Layne

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Layne frowned as he looked around. "Where's your bible at Phil?" He said a little loudly, sarcastically. Shannon elbowed Layne

Phil rushed over to the coffee table in his living room. He blushed as he quickly organized messy magazines and papers that were strewn across the table.

He held his hand out, gesturing to the couch.

"Have a seat guys...as I said, I was just in the middle of cleaning up. I apologize for the mess." Phil blushed.

Shannon and Layne looked around the living room, stuck together like they were joined at the hip as they both took a seat on the couch.

The local news was blaring from the TV. Phil had walked out of the room for a second. Layne frowned as he looked around.

"Where's your bible at Phil?" He said a little loudly, sarcastically.

Shannon elbowed Layne.

"Baby! C'mon..." He nearly whispered.

Layne sighed, pursing his lips as he sat back against the cushions of the couch.

Shannon stared at the pictures that were on Phil's living room walls. 

"Babe, is that you?" Shannon said quietly, pointing to a picture of a blue eyed, blonde haired boy hanging on Phil's wall near pictures of other kids.

"Yeah. So what." Layne said bitterly.

"Those pictures over there look recent...they must be your stepbrother's kids or something. There's your nephew's picture." Shannon observed, pointing.

Shannon frowned slightly. He felt a little jealous. He wanted their children's pictures on the wall. He looked at Layne and patted his knee.

"Give him a chance baby. Please." Shannon whispered, leaning over and kissing Layne's cheek.

Just as Shannon was pulling away, Phil rushed back into the room, running his hands down his shirt, raising his brows and looking at them.

Shannon felt giddy inside. They had the same mannerisms. Layne would do that with his eyebrows a lot as well!

"Sorry. I had to go finish what I was doing right quick. Uh...are you guys hungry? Thirsty? I could whip something up right quick if you want." Phil offered.

"We don't drink anymore. We're sober." Layne said coldly, a frown on his face.

Shannon's eyes widened, looking from Layne to Phil. Phil chuckled awkwardly.

"Well I don't either...I'm sober too." He replied.

Layne was about to open his mouth to speak but Shannon quickly interjected.

"I'd like something to drink. What do you have?" He smiled warmly at Phil.

"Water and juice." Phil smiled at Shannon.

"Water's fine. Get one for Layne too." Shannon smiled.

"I don't want one." Layne frowned.

Phil hesitated, before walking out of the room again.

"Baby! C'mon!" Shannon wined lightly after Phil left the room, pouting at Layne.

"I'm sorry. I'm really trying." Layne sighed.

Shannon was about to open his mouth again, but Phil came back in with two waters, handing Shannon his and holding one out to Layne. Layne hesitated and snatched it from him, leaning over and setting it on the table, sitting back in the couch. Shannon meanwhile eagerly opened his and started sipping on it, looking back and forth from Layne and his father.

Shannon was intrigued by how much they were alike, yet they were so different.

Phil finally sat down in the armchair that was adjacent to the couch.

"So...how long have you guys been married?" Phil hesitated and asked, trying to start a conversation.

"About 5 years. But we've been together for a while." Shannon smiled politely.

Phil was about to speak but Layne cut him off.

"Oh cut the bullshit. I know you already know everything that happened between me and Shannon dad. I know you've been talking to Shannon over the phone and I know Shannon told you everything." Layne frowned.

Phil winced and sighed.

"I'm really sorry about everything that happened son." Phil said softly.

"Don't even...just don't!" Layne frowned, sitting up and holding his hand out, turning his head and shaking it. 

He frowned and crossed his arms, sitting back against the couch.

"What I wanna know is, how did you get my fucking number in the first place? See, me and Shannon were living a quiet life in Indiana. I had got out of Seattle. I didn't tell anyone where I was. I don't want anyone fucking bothering me. I'm through with everyone's bullshit!" Layne rambled.

"Well I called your mother and-" Phil began.

"MOM!? Mom fucking gave you my number!? Oh my fucking god! She just won't quit! Fucking unbelievable!" Layne exclaimed, standing up.

"Shannon let's fucking go! Let's get the kids and get the fuck out of here! Fuck you all!" Layne exclaimed.

Shannon furrowed his brows, standing up, putting his hands on Layne's shoulders. He looked deep into his husband's eyes.

"Layne. Please calm down. Just sit down and please calm down babe. Just hear him out. Please." Shannon said softly to Layne.

Layne's brows were furrowed. He looked into Shannon's eyes and a sense of calm came over him. He sighed and sat back down, leaning forward, his hands intertwined in his lap. Shannon sat back down and rubbed Layne's back, looking over at Phil with a sympathetic look.

"You didn't let me finish Layne...I was going to say I called your mother and she wouldn't even talk to me. So I called Liz. I talked to Liz and she gave me your number." Phil said softly.

"Liz...fuck Liz...how could you?" Layne said out loud to himself, sighing.

Another awkward silence fell over the three. Phil kept looking at Layne, who wasn't looking at him, with a sad look on his face.

Shannon decided to cut the tension in the room.

"You have a nice house Phil. I like the colors. Everything goes together well." Shannon smiled.

"Oh, thanks, I repainted all the walls myself, redid the carpets myself." Phil smiled back at Shannon.

Shannon nodded and listened intently as Phil began talking about how he fixed up the house, explaining in detail.

Meanwhile Layne sat there, rocking back and forth slightly, thinking about how Phil was gone from his life for 15 years, and showed up again all of a sudden when he had become famous and had taken advantage of him. It made him angry. He gritted his teeth as he sat there, listening to his husband converse with his estranged father.

Finally, Layne interrupted their conversation with another angry ramble.

"So dad, you still reading the bible?" Layne blurted randomly, frowning.

Phil and Shannon got silent.

"Because I remember the last time we talked, Christmas '99. Remember? Remember how fucked up I was? How skinny and pale I was? How fucking sick I was? Remember how you told me how God had helped you? How you were clean? Remember dad?" Layne spat sarcastically.

Phil sighed, rubbing his temples with his hands.

"Layne. I'm fucking sorry. I don't know what else to say son. Yes, it was really fucked up what I did. I can only imagine how you felt. I was going through a weird fucking phase back then. I was brainwashed. But at the time, it did help me get out of my addiction. I'll give it that. I just wish you wouldn't be so angry with me. I had good intentions back then, I swear..." Phil sighed.

"Yeah but you were fucking clean! You were fucking clean dad! How the fuck did you get fucking clean and I was nearly fucking dying?! You're the one who fucking got me hooked in the first place dad! That time when you fucking found me on the magazine cover. You found out I was a rockstar and you fucking contacted me and convinced me to buy that shit! All I was doing was coke, but you wanted your shit that you were addicted to! And by getting me on it in the process, you could get your shit because you had me buying it! You fucking ruined my life dad! You fucking ruined my life!" Layne exclaimed, pulling at his hair.

"Layne I-" Phil tried to interject.

"You were fucking using me, to get your fucking high. I thought we were actually going to have a fucking relationship! I needed you dad! I fucking needed you growing up and you weren't there! They told me you were dead! It's not fair! I thought you actually wanted to fucking know me but you found out I was rich and you wanted to get your fucking fix! Why did you lie to me dad!? Why did you lie and say you were clean for 6 years!? You were ecstatic that you found a gateway to your fucking drugs! But I cut that shit off quick...and I was left fucking addicted!" Layne exclaimed, tears forming in his eyes.

Shannon wrapped his arms around Layne, holding him tight as Layne put a hand to his forehead as tears fell down his face.

"Layne. I was really fucked up for years. I thought we had this conversation before. Layne I don't know how to sugarcoat it for you. I don't know what you want to hear son. I had my priorities in a fucking knot for years. Most of what you said is true. Drugs make you do crazy fucking things. I wish so bad I could have went back and changed what I did Layne. 

Layne you don't know, but I kept up with you all these years. Through your mom's brother. Rest his soul. He always sent me pictures of you and things. I mean Layne, your mother was so much younger than me.

I already had kids by someone else when we got together. I wasn't ready to settle down. I don't know why I got married. I'm not cut out for marriage. I just wanted to party. It got really bad and I abandoned my children. I'm fucking sorry for that. You don't fucking understand how sorry I am. And I know you're angry.

It's a fucking disease Layne. My dad had it, I had it and you had it." Phil exclaimed, voice cracking.

"It's ended with us." Shannon threw his 2 cents in.

Layne sniffled, smiling a little, nodding his head slightly. Shannon continued to rub his back.

"I swear Layne, the last time we talked, even though I was caught up in religion...I swear I really wanted to make amends with you. You looked so fucking bad. I really wanted to help you Layne. I really wanted you to get better. I wanted to rebuild our relationship." Phil sighed.

"Then why did you fucking disappear? Why did you fucking give up on me!? You fell off the face of the fucking earth. If it wasn't for this man right here, I'd be fucking dead. This man is the ONLY one who gave a fuck!" Layne exclaimed, pointing to Shannon.

Shannon smiled sadly, glancing at Phil and looking down.

Phil sighed, shaking his knee nervously.

"Well son, you wrote that song about me...Get Born Again. I figured you just didn't want me around. I mean, I didn't want to impose on you. You were just so angry. That song was pretty much a big "fuck you" to me. I figured you just never wanted to hear from me ever again. I just...I know I should have kept trying to get through to you...but...I don't know why I just backed off. I should have kept trying. I'm fucking sorry Layne. I wish I could change what happened..but I can't. I know it's all fucked up and we were all just so very fucked up Layne. 

Shannon I can't thank you enough for saving my son. I'll always be grateful for that. You're an awesome person." Phil sighed and smiled at Shannon.

Shannon blushed, shrugging his shoulders slightly as he still held onto Layne.

"No problem..." He said softly.

"That's just it. Everyone in my fucking life gave up on me dad. You, the guys in the band, mom, Liz. Everyone fucking gave up on me. I cut everyone off. And no one fucking called. Mom and Liz would call but they wouldn't mention anything about fucking helping me.

Hell I had already tried that with mom and she refused to fucking go with me. Everyone fucking gave up on me and left me to die. The harder I pushed the farther they went." Layne sighed and sniffled.

"But Layne. You're blaming everyone else for your issues...but ultimately son, you made the decision to do what you did." Phil said cautiously.

"What? What the fuck did you just say!? This all fucking started with you!" Layne exclaimed, standing up and pointing at Phil.

Phil winced and jumped back slightly as Layne screamed at him.

"You had some kids with a woman and you decided that getting fucking high and drinking yourself into oblivion was more fucking important than your fucking family!

I remember that shit dad! I fucking remember that I was sitting in the living room by myself, rolling a ball around. I remember mom coming in and saying 'oh hey Phil, why don't you go throw the ball around to your son for a while? You never spend time with him.' I remember you sitting on the couch with a beer in your hand, watching TV, rolling your eyes and groaning when Mom asked you to play with me. I remember you dragging your ass outside lazily, with the beer still in your hand, sipping it. I rolled the ball to you and you'd throw it at me, over my fucking shoulder and I'd go fetch it and you just stood there with your fucking beer dad! 

Then you fucking left! You fucking disappeared. I fucking loved you! Even though you were a piece of shit. I fucking loved you and then my family decided you were a shitbag and told me you were dead! 

They'd rather say you were dead then tell your children that you were a fucking crackhead!" Layne screamed at Phil.

Phil's eyes were watering now at Layne's harsh words. Shannon stood up and tried to calm his agitated hubby down.

"Layne...Layne babe....calm down sweetheart. Tone it down babe." Shannon said softly.

"No Shannon! No! Because it's not fucking fair! It's not fucking fair the fucking hand I was dealt! Mom fucking remarried that piece of shit so quickly. Meanwhile I was confused about where my fucking dad was! And why no one was upset that he fucking died!" Layne screamed, looking back at Phil.

"You know I fucking looked you up when I was a teenager. I didn't want mom or anyone to fucking know about it! I know mom fucking hates your fucking guts for leaving her with 2 children to raise! I looked you up dad! And I found out where you were! You didn't know that huh!?" Layne screamed.

"No. I didn't know." Phil said softly, looking down at his hands. 

He looked as if he was holding in his emotions.

"Yeah. And you know what I fucking found? I found out that you were a piece of shit! I was already smoking weed by that age and drinking! By that point, I didn't know you were a fucking junkie. I had no idea why you left and I wanted answers. Maybe to reconnect with you. I found out that you were a fucking junkie! 

Imagine how a teenage son feels when he finds out that daddy fucking left because he'd rather get high then be with his son. I was fucking crushed. I found out you're a piece of shit and I fucking moved on. You were fucking dead to me after that!" Layne screamed at Phil.

Phil had his hand on his forehead, his shoulders shaking. Shannon's heart broke at the scene. He wanted to hug Phil but he knew that he better stay where he was because Layne was a time bomb that was going off.

Phil looked up at Layne finally, tears pouring down his face.

"But you changed your last name. You wanted me to find you. I did. It may have not been for the right reasons..but I found you. You became a rockstar because you wanted me to find you. Deep down you always wanted me to find you." Phil sniffled.

This comment threw Layne back. He furrowed his brows, scratching his head.

"That doesn't mean shit! How the fuck do you know that!? Yeah. I changed my last name back to Staley. I'd rather have your name then that fuck's name that my mom married. And yeah. Maybe deep down I thought that maybe you'd change and find me. But so what. You just always continued to fucking disappoint me and be a fucking scum of a father!" Layne exclaimed.

"I read about it. I kept up with you. No matter how fucking bad things got. I kept up with you." Phil said softly.

"Fucking bullshit! You fucked me over numerous times! You left, you used me, you got me addicted to your shit and then you quit, you fucking made a mockery of me with your fucking Jesus bullshit, and then you fucking abandoned me! And now all of a sudden you want to fucking see me again! 

This is some major bullshit Phil! You can't fucking do this! You don't have the fucking right. You fucking impose on _my_ husband. You interrupt my happy life!

Why do you want to fucking know me now? You weren't hardly there before! All of a sudden you want to fucking know me? Just how do you think you're gonna make up for all the years of fucking bullshit!? Huh?

NOTHING can ever make me forgive you! I blame everything on you! Everything that went wrong in my life, all _your_ fucking fault! I'll never fucking be okay! 

I fucking love my children. I love them so fucking much. I started out like you. I was fucked up. I missed the first 6 years of my daughter's life. 

And I fucking hate myself for that. I fucking hate myself. I never wanted to be like you. I never wanted to be _anything_ like you!

There are hardly any pictures of her when she was a baby. I blame myself for that. I wasn't around. Shannon was fucked up. I should have been there, clean and sober to help Shannon. Our daughter would have taken a lot of fucking baby pictures. We'd have a whole fucking album.

I missed my daughter being a baby. I never got to change her fucking diapers. I never got to see her learn to walk. I never got to see her as a toddler. 

It's because of YOU! It's your fault for giving me this so called fucking disease!

Why don't you just fucking die already! Fucking die because that's the only good thing you can fucking do! Because you don't mean shit to me! 

Before you started calling my fucking house, you were fucking dead to me anyway!" Layne screamed, eyes tearing up.

Shannon gasped at Layne's words. Shannon was shocked. Layne was seriously fucked up about this whole fucking situation. Layne was being unfair! 

The drugs.

That was _really_ the cause of everyone's fucking problems. The 90's were a crazy time. Everyone was doing drugs. And a lot of people died. But a lot of people also pushed through it.

Phil was crying at this point. He didn't know what to say to Layne. Shannon stood there, watching the man with his hands to his face, sobbing loudly at Layne's harsh words.

"Oh you're fucking crying huh? Now you know how it feels. Now you know how it fucking feels to be alone and fucking needy and no one's there for you! Because that's how I fucking felt!

Good fucking riddance. I don't know why the _fuck_ I let Shannon convince me to come over here. I don't wanna fucking know you. You'll just do the same old shit again. I'm not letting you break promises to my children. My children have perfect lives. Way fucking better then when I was growing up. I'd like to keep it that way." Layne spat at the man.

He turned to Shannon, a frown on his face as he wiped his eyes and sniffled.

"C'mon Shannon. Let's get the fuck out of here. I just wanna go home, back to our paradise. Enough of this fucking place. Let's get the babies away from my basket case of a mother and just go the fuck back home." He spat, before storming out of the house, slamming the door as hard as he could.

Shannon stood there, still in awe at how the situation had went down. This had not went down as he had planned at all. He thought things would go good. He really thought Layne was going to let this go.

Shannon sighed as Phil rushed up and ran out of the room sobbing. Shannon rubbed his forehead.

This thing was really fucking bad. So bad that even Shannon couldn't fix this. Shannon would just have to accept it. Layne would never forgive his dad. Shannon couldn't force him.

Shannon felt bad. He wanted his kids to have a grandpa. Phil seemed like such a nice and caring dude. Shannon didn't care about his past. He didn't judge people from their pasts. Shannon's past wasn't so nice either. He wouldn't want someone judging him from that.

Shannon sighed, walking through the house, following the sounds of Phil's cries. He made his way to Phil's bedroom. Phil was sitting on the edge of his bed, face in his hands, sobbing.

Shannon sighed, walking in hesitantly and standing before Phil.

"Hey." He said, a sad look on his face.

Phil removed his hands from his face, looking up at Shannon with red eyes and a flushed face. 

Shannon sighed and sat on the bed beside him, patting his shoulder.

"So...I guess we're leaving now. I'm really sorry Phil. I'm really sorry." Shannon sighed.

He didn't know what else to say.

Phil sniffled, wiping his eyes.

"I fucking care about him. I wish he wasn't so fucking angry with me. He blames me for everything. He doesn't understand how fucking guilty I feel. He acts as if I don't have any fucking feelings! I know what the fuck I did and I fucking hate myself for it! I know how special he is! He was always my special boy! I knew he'd do something great with his life.

Yeah I was fucked up. Yeah I did some fucked up shit. But I always loved him. He was always so special. Everyone liked him. I read about him. I listen to his music. He just won't fucking hear it.

Honest, I tried to help him last time. I just don't know what he wants me to fucking say, or do. I don't know what else to do. I guess it'll never fucking be.

I really fucked up. My son Chris and my daughter Liz are barely talking to me. I just know if Layne started talking to me, they'd see and they'd want to talk to me more. I know I fucked up.

It's not like I'm sitting here thinking I'm a fucking saint. I know I'm not. 

I just really wanted to fucking know Layne. I heard from his sister that he was clean, and that he had a family. Now next time Layne talks to Liz he'll tell her what happened and she won't wanna talk to me anymore. She'll cut me off from my grandson. I will be alone then." Phil sniffled.

"Fuck Phil. I'm sorry. I know. Layne's pretty hardheaded sometimes. Honestly I've done everything I can do. If I can't get through to Layne, then no one can.

I just wished he would let this shit go. I really wanted you to meet our children. Laina's a little hotheaded, and our twins, I think they'd love you. I really wanted you to meet them. But I can't. I can't because I can't go against my husband's wishes.

I'm really fucking sorry. I mean. We can still keep in touch if you want. Just don't email me." Shannon laughed lightly, joking.

Phil sniffled and laughed lightly.

"I guess so. I don't think I'll be calling that much seeing as Layne doesn't want me around. He fucking hates me. I just don't know what else to do. I wish I could meet your children too. My grandchildren really make me happy. They only know the new me. They don't know about my past. They're all so happy and innocent." Phil smiled.

Shannon smiled, rubbing his back.

"I guess I better go now. Layne wants to get out of here. Seattle is a tense place for us. A lot of bad memories. I sort of can't wait to get back home either. Away from this place." Shannon said softly, standing up.

Phil stood up too. Shannon smiled lightly.

"I guess I'll see you around." Shannon said softly.

Suddenly Phil wrapped his arms around Shannon, pulling him into a tight hug, taking Shannon off guard. Shannon squealed lightly as Phil embraced him. He hesitated, wrapping his arms around him. They hugged for a few seconds before Phil pulled away, putting his hands on Shannon's shoulders.

"Shannon you're a really good guy. I'm glad that Layne got up with you. I guess I'm left with that. Knowing that you turned his life around for him, helped him get out of that funk. We all really thought Layne was going to die, but he's still here. He seems real happy with you. Thank you Shannon." Phil smiled.

"No problem...I love him." Shannon blushed and smiled.

Phil stepped back and Shannon turned around. Phil followed Shannon as Shannon made his way through the house and to the front door.

"Bye Shannon." Phil said softly before Shannon left out of the house.

Phil peeked out of the window as Shannon walked outside. He watched them leave.

Meanwhile Shannon walked off of the porch and came up to the SUV which Layne was leaning against, frowning, arms crossed.

"What the fuck took so long? Were you in there fucking him?" Layne frowned.

"No Layne! Just telling him goodbye. C'mon, please just calm down. We're gettin' out of here." Shannon frowned, getting in the driver's side.

Layne got in the passenger's side and slammed the door. Shannon started the car and quickly took off.

Layne looked out of the window silently, a frown on his face.

They were silent for nearly 15 minutes before they both spoke at the same time. They laughed lightly together.

"You go first baby." Shannon smiled as they were stopped at a red light.

"I was just gonna say...that I'm sorry about all that back there...I'm sorry but I just don't forgive him Shannon. I'm just so angry." Layne said softly.

Shannon was silent for a moment. He gripped the wheel as he started to drive again.

"But Layne, you gotta give him a break. He was strung out for years...you know how crazy drugs can make you babe. I think the cause of all our problems was the drugs. The 90s were just a really fucked up time for everyone." Shannon said softly.

"Shannon I know you mean well and all...but you just don't fucking get it. You had both of your parents, up until they divorced...and even then, they divorced when you were nearly 20. It's not like they split when you were little. You just don't understand and I know you mean well baby. And I'm sorry. I just can't. I just can't." Layne said softly, putting his hand on Shannon's thigh.

Shannon smiled sadly and sighed.

"It's alright. I can't win 'em all. I fucking love you Layne. So fucking much. I'm really sorry I forced you to go through that. Are you okay? Are you gonna be okay?" Shannon asked.

"Yeah babe. I'm fine. I fucking love you too. It's okay. Don't worry about it. I'll be perfectly happy and fine once we get back to our house and our world. When things get back to normal." Layne smiled.

"We'll be back before you know it hubby." Shannon smiled.

"Shanny." Layne smiled softly, squeezing Shannon's thigh.

Shannon giggled as he drove. The ride became silent again.

Layne stared out the window, feeling a stinging emotional pain in his chest. His face fell into a frown. He was fighting back tears. What had just happened was fucking intense. He remembered Phil crying as he yelled at him.

Layne frowned, a burning feeling in his throat.

Phil fucking deserved it for the shit he had done. What was the fucking deal with deadbeat parents anyway? Thinking they can just miss years of their child, their flesh and blood's, life and think they can just waltz right on back in like nothing ever happened.

Phil fucking deserved it.

Didn't he?


	12. Them Feels

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was bittersweet to make him feel like shit for being a fucked up dad, but for some reason, Layne couldn't help but feel a little guilty.

3 Months Later

The time was nearly 5am. Layne hadn't gotten much sleep that night. Shannon snored away beside him, hogging half of the blankets and the bed as usual, but Layne just couldn't sleep. He couldn't stop thinking about Phil.

It had been a couple of months since that intense encounter between he and his estranged father. Shannon had really wanted him to make up with his dad, but Layne just couldn't. Layne was so angry.

Layne had been thinking lately though. He had remembered how he yelled at Phil. How Phil had cried. Layne had never really seen his dad cry like that before. Layne had spewed the words he had thrown at him plenty a time before, but he had never really seen Phil show any actual emotion. Layne sighed in the dark as he laid there on his side, facing the edge of the bed.

He bit his lip, thinking of how he had hurt his father. Sure, it had been bittersweet to finally arouse some sort of emotion out of his dad. It was bittersweet to make him feel like shit for being a fucked up dad, but for some reason, Layne couldn't help but feel a little guilty.

He kind of felt guilty for making Phil feel upset. Really, Layne had just went off on Phil. He didn't really remember them talking much, just a lot of yelling going on on his part.

He was supposed to be going over there that day to listen to Phil's side of the story, but instead he ended up going off on him.

Layne felt bad for having the guilty feeling. Damn this was all Shannon's fault. Shannon had taught him how to be a better person. Layne didn't wanna feel guilty for making Phil feel like shit.

Phil fucking deserved it. Phil fucking abandoned them for drugs. Phil fucking used Layne for drugs. Phil fucking got clean and left Layne in the dust.

Layne frowned when he thought about that. Yeah that's right, Phil was a fucking douchebag.

But then Layne couldn't stop hearing the man's cries in his head. It was as if it was burned into his brain. It replayed over and over during times like this, when he was awake in the middle of the night and couldn't sleep, or when he was in the shower. Layne furrowed his brows, sighing loudly.

So Liz was talking to Phil again. It was so easy for her to forgive and forget. He hadn't really done anything drastic to her.

Layne blinked and sighed, moving his legs in bed a bit. His breathing became shallow when he heard the sheets of the bed rustling behind him in the dark.

Shannon made a light whining noise when he stretched. Layne felt his leg brush against his as he moved around in bed. Layne darted his eyes to the side as if he could see Shannon over his shoulder in the dark.

Layne lay as still as a board. He felt the bed shake as Shannon moved around in the dark. Layne could hear Shannon feeling around on the nightstand for his phone, probably picking it up and checking the time. Layne blinked when he heard the clinking noise of Shannon's phone dropping back on his nightstand.

Layne flinched, startled when he felt a hand touch his stomach and he heard a raspy laugh. He closed his eyes as he felt Shannon slide his body close to his.

Layne sighed as he felt Shannon's hand move up and down his tight stomach. Layne could feel something hard and prodding near his ass. He bit his lip as he felt Shannon's breath lingering near his ear.

"Baby...are you awake?" Shannon asked softly into Layne's ear, flicking his earlobe with his tongue.

Layne shrugged his shoulder, gasping and sighing. Shannon giggled lightly, still rubbing Layne's stomach.

"Baby turn your lamp on so I can see you." Shannon's voice sounded in the dark.

Layne sighed and smiled, leaning over, Shannon's hand pressed firmly on his stomach as he reached over and turned his lamp on. Layne leaned back slightly, his blue eyes meeting Shannon's deep blue, sleepy eyes.

"Morning." Shannon said softly, leaning down and pressing a kiss to Layne's lips.

Layne blinked slowly as Shannon pulled away. He stared into Shannon's eyes, brows slightly furrowed.

"Morning Shanny..." Layne said softly.

"Hey. You doing okay this morning?" Shannon asked softly, biting his lip.

Layne smiled at his husband. His eyes were the brightest blue and he looked so cute with his sleepy face, his pouty lips and his disheveled hair.

"What do you want?" Layne sighed and smiled.

He knew what Shannon wanted, he just wanted to hear him say it.

"Wanna fuck? We have some time before the kids get up. I'm super fucking horny." Shannon nearly whispered, pressing a kiss to Layne's lips.

Layne sighed, looking up at his hubby.

"What the fuck did you dream about last night?" He smirked.

"I don't know. I just know I woke up with this fucking hard on and I need you." Shannon laughed lightly. "Get the lube."

Layne sighed and smiled, leaning over again, with one arm, managing to open his nightstand drawer, fishing around blindly with his hand and grabbing their bottle of lube. He rolled back over, holding it out for Shannon.

"What position?" Layne asked softly.

"Lay on your side." Shannon said softly, setting the lube down and rubbing Layne's thigh up and down.

Layne sighed as he laid on his side, facing the edge of the bed. Shannon smiled and continued to run his hand up and down Layne's thigh, pressing his erection into Layne's ass. He leaned down and started placing kisses on Layne's shoulder, kissing up to his neck. He placed kisses behind Layne's ear. Layne shivered and closed his eyes, flinching slightly.

Shannon ran his tongue across Layne's cheek, over to his lips where they met his with a heated passion. At the same time, Shannon snaked his hand down Layne's stomach and under the fabric that covered Layne's privates, wrapping his hand around the semi hard meat that sit snugly in place.

Layne moaned as their tongues met at the same time Shannon began to stroke Layne's cock behind his underwear. Layne had his head turned over his shoulder as Shannon leaned down and made out with him.

Layne could feel the familiar heat overtake his body as Shannon's tongue prodded his. Layne let out a low moan as he reach down, putting his hand over his lap as Shannon worked him.

Shannon pulled away from Layne's lips, licking his own and smirking down at his husband. He pulled his hand out, resting it on Layne's stomach.

"Take them off please." Shannon said softly.

Layne rolled over on his back, sitting up as he shed his article of clothing, laying back on his side, stark naked, waiting for his husband to do the work. The bed shook slightly as Shannon moved around, taking his own garment off and throwing it to the floor. Layne looked over his shoulder as Shannon laid on his back, grabbing the lube and squirting some on his finger, rubbing it around and coating his finger. Once Shannon turned around on his side facing Layne, Layne bent his knee, his other leg straight and flat against the bed. Layne put his hand under his knee to hold his leg up in a scissor-like position. He lay there, staring at the floor as he waited for his husband to begin preparing him.

Shannon smiled as he slid up behind Layne, reaching his finger down and slowly feeling around until he was at his opening. Layne sighed and closed his eyes as he felt Shannon's finger begin to massage the opening gently. Shannon slid close to Layne, placing kisses on his neck as he slowly started to push his finger inside of him, gently prodding him. Layne bit his lip and sighed, trying to relax under his husband's touch.

Shannon pushed his wet finger in and out for a few minutes before rolling over and getting more lube on his fingers. He quickly returned to his position, smiling warmly at Layne who was looking back at him, still holding his leg up as Shannon gently forced two fingers inside of Layne. Shannon leaned down, nearly shivering as their lips met. Layne moaned lightly into their kiss as their tongues and lips touched, Shannon still working his sphincter.

Finally, Shannon pulled away, chest rising and falling rapidly. Layne laid there, licking his lips and breathing hard as he waited patiently for his husband to finish preparing. Shannon squeezed some more lube onto his hand, coating his cock with it before finally returning to his side, getting in a comfortable position behind Layne.

Shannon stretched his arm out, laying on it. He took his cock with his other hand and guided it along Layne's crevice, sliding as close to him from behind as possible. Layne arched his ass a little as he held onto his leg. Shannon bit his lip as he positioned his tip at Layne's opening. He put his hand on Layne's hip as he slowly thrusted his hips up, penetrating the hard muscle.

A throaty moan escaped Shannon's lips as he slowly started to thrust into Layne from behind, his cock going deeper and deeper with each thrust.

Shannon laughed lightly, biting his lip as he buried his face in Layne's curls, throwing his arm around Layne's stomach and holding onto him tightly as he fucked him from behind.

Layne smirked as he listened to his husband's heavy breathing, their skin rubbing together with each thrust by Shannon. They were silent as they fucked, with the occasional grunt or moan escaping Shannon's lips.

Their bodies moved together slowly, sensually. Shannon bit his lip, his chin resting on Layne's shoulder as he fucked Layne from behind, his hand resting firmly on Layne's stomach. Layne pursed his lips, breathing slowly, quietly enjoying the feeling of his husband filling the tight canal.

Shannon moved his head back down, kissing Layne's shoulder, biting it as he fucked him. Layne shifted slightly, leaning his head back against Shannon's. Shannon roamed his hand up and around Layne's chest, bringing it back down to rest on Layne's stomach.

"Jerk yourself off..." Shannon moaned lightly into Layne's ear.

Layne's eyes were closed and he nodded, still holding his leg up under the knee with his hand. He moved the arm that was resting under him slightly, bringing his hand down and wrapping it around his own, slick erection.

"Good boy." Shannon laughed lightly, pursing his lips and moaning as he slowly thrusted up into his husband.

Layne sighed shakily as he jerked himself off, enjoying the closeness with his husband.

"Fuck this feels so good. I'm real close..." Shannon moaned softly into Layne's ear as he sped up his movements, holding onto Layne tightly.

Layne sighed shakily as he worked himself, getting a good rhythm going, his pre cum coating his cock with each stroke.

"Shanny...I love it when you fuck me..." Layne breathed, shrugging his shoulder slightly.

Shannon let out a light whimper, pressing his lips to Layne's ear, making him shiver.

"I'm fucking close." He said softly before moving his mouth to Layne's shoulder, biting down on it as he fucked him from behind.

Layne continued to stroke himself, concentrating. He could feel the heat radiating off of his husband. He was extremely turned on by the teeth that were sinking down in the flesh of his shoulder. He could feel Shannon's tongue lapping against his flesh.

Shannon could feel himself getting closer and closer to the edge as he thrusted up, Layne's tight canal engulfing his erection. Shannon gasped, his mouth still biting down on Layne's shoulder as he felt that familiar pang in his groin. He shook and whimpered as he reached his orgasm, his face flushing, an overwhelming sense of calmness coming over him.

Layne furrowed his brows, eyes still closed, mouth forming an O as he felt Shannon's love hit his insides. He still continued to work himself slowly.

When he felt Shannon pull out of him and back away, Layne immediately turned on his back, opening his tired eyes, looking over at his satisfied husband who was resting his head in his hand, smirking at him.

"Don't stop...keep playing. Cum for me." Shannon said softly, licking his lips, chest rising and falling rapidly.

Layne looked up at Shannon, straight into his eyes as he tugged at himself. His ass was still burning with a passion. He could still feel Shannon buried deep inside of him.

Layne's eyes fell closed as he felt himself about to reach his peak. Shannon laughed lightly as he watched his husband pleasure himself.

He bit his lip as he watched Layne's fist run up and down the rosy shaft, which was practically begging for release. It shimmered in the light of the lamp. Layne squeezed his tip each time his fist came near the head.

Shannon couldn't resist as he leaned down, pressing his lips to Layne's, rubbing his stomach lightly. Layne jumped as he felt his husband's lips brush against his. He was deep in concentration. Shannon moaned lightly as Layne's mouth parted and their tongues touched.

Layne desperately kissed his husband, their tongues brushing together as he worked himself. He furrowed his brows as he continued to touch himself, jumping when he finally got over the edge.

Shannon smiled into their messy kiss, rubbing Layne's stomach as Layne climaxed, shaking under him.

He spilled his seed onto the comforter, squeezing his shaft as it shot out. Shannon pulled off of Layne's lips, smirking at him.

Layne blinked, breathing deeply as he looked up at Shannon, smiling back at him.

Shannon leaned down, pressing his forehead against Layne's nuzzling their noses together, laughing lightly as he traced circles on Layne's stomach with his finger.

* * *

Layne sat at the kitchen table and watched his family. The boys had started kindergarten and they were so excited about school. Shannon was fixing breakfast and Zaine came up to him, tugging on his shirt.

Shannon looked down at him.

"What sweetie?"

"Daddy what are we eating?" Zaine asked innocently.

Layne laughed lightly as he watched them.

"Bacon, hashbrowns and eggs." Shannon smiled down at Zaine.

"Okay." Zaine smiled.

He sat at the table beside his brother, who was lost in his gameboy. Layne sighed and smiled as he looked around at the children. Laina was scribbling in her notebook, probably finishing up homework.

Layne just happened to look up as Shannon was scraping food onto plates. Shannon glanced over at Layne and gave him the sweetest smile. Layne's heart filled with warmth when Shannon smiled at him. His family was so perfect. He fucking loved them. They were his everything.

Layne sat back in his chair. His smile faded when he started thinking about Phil again. Phil was probably alone most of the time. He could just see the poor bastard at his kitchen table by himself, eating quietly, 4 walls surrounding him.

Layne sighed, brows furrowed. Why was he feeling this way? Phil didn't deserve a fucking thought from him. Phil deserved his loneliness and seclusion. He had brought it upon himself.

Layne still had that pang of guilt deep within him though.

He had no more time to think about it as Shannon set a plate down in front of him, kissing his temple.

"Bon appetite, daddy..." Shannon whispered in Layne's ear.

Layne shrugged his shoulders, blushing and smiling as he dug into his meal.

He smiled as he watched the children devour their plates. They were so hungry all of the time. Especially the boys. The boys were greedy.

Layne glanced back over at Shannon, who was also looking at the children.

"Shayne, Zaine, slow down, it's only going to one place." Shannon furrowed his brows, laughing lightly.

Laina looked at her little brothers and rolled her eyes.

"Ew stop breathing when you eat, that's so disgusting!" She complained.

Layne chuckled lightly. His family was healthy and normal. There was a lot of love in his family. His children were so normal. He sighed and smiled.

* * *

After breakfast, Layne helped Shannon tidy up and the kids finished getting ready for school. They all piled into the SUV. It was an everyday thing for both dads to be present as they dropped the babies off at school.

Layne sat back quietly in the passenger's seat as Shannon drove and conversed with the children, asking them about the things they were doing in school that day and little things, like what they wanted for dinner that night.

Layne smiled to himself as he stared out of the window as he heard giggles from the backseat. It was moments like this that made him think about how fucking lucky he was to be in this life. This life was fucking perfect. He wouldn't trade it for anything.

Laina was dropped off first. Layne and Shannon turned their heads in their seats as she made her way to the door. Before she stepped out, she gave them each a kiss.

It was the same routine with the boys. Once they left Laina's school they went to the elementary school. The boys were used to the routine now. Layne and Shannon didn't have to walk them inside the school anymore. They knew what they were supposed to do now. They dropped the boys off and each got kisses from them before they jumped out of the SUV, running excitedly into their school.

Before they knew it, it was just them again. The children were at school. The ride was fairly silent on the way back to the house.

Shannon finally broke the silence.

"I can't believe our boys are in school already. It seems like just yesterday they were babies." Shannon sighed.

"I know what you mean." Layne sighed. "Time's moving too fast. I want 'em to stay little forever."

Shannon smiled, glancing over at Layne. His smile faded when he saw how Layne was staring out the window. Shannon knew his husband well. He could sense when something was off about him.

He was getting that feeling at that exact moment. Shannon and Layne were silent the rest of the ride home.

* * *

Layne sighed as he sat on the couch, holding the remote up, flipping idly through the channels on the television. He finally just cut the TV off and sat there, arms crossed, looking down at his lap. He leaned forward, running his hands through his curls.

He couldn't get this Phil shit off of his mind. He sort of wondered how the poor guy had been doing since Layne had went off on him.

Layne was feeling fucking guilty. There was no denying it. Perhaps this was because he had matured over the years. He had his own kids now. He had his own family. He could sort of understand how things could get hard at times.

Layne sighed. He felt conflicted. He felt guilty for feeling guilty. He felt like he was supposed to hate his father at this point. The man had done some fucked up things. The man had never been close to him. Layne closed his eyes and sighed, wishing these thoughts would go away.

Suddenly as he was sitting there, Shannon walked into the room. Layne opened his eyes and smiled up at Shannon as Shannon scooted past him and plopped down on the couch beside him. Layne smiled and threw an arm around Shannon and Shannon leaned into him.

"What's up?" Layne asked softly.

"I wanted to ask you the same thing." Shannon said softly, looking at Layne.

Layne furrowed his brows.

"What?" He smiled, laughing lightly.

"Something's up with you. You've been really quiet today." Shannon said softly, squinting his eyes at Layne.

"Really? I didn't notice I was being quiet." Layne smiled softly.

"I did. What's wrong? Are you gonna tell me?" Shannon asked.

Layne stared at Shannon. Shannon looked him straight in his eyes, squinting slightly.

Layne sighed and looked away, pulling away from Shannon.

"Nothing's up. I'm just tired. I didn't get much sleep last night. I'm gonna go take a nap. I just need some sleep." Layne said quickly, standing up.

"Oh." Shannon said softly.

He sat there pouting as he listened to Layne go up the stairs and heard a door slam. Shannon sighed, crossing his arms over his chest and biting his lip.

* * *

Layne woke up from his nap to hear the clicking noises of a computer keyboard. He opened his eyes, stretching quietly and yawning as the room came into focus. He saw Shannon sitting at the desk in their room, on the computer, typing away carelessly.

Layne watched him for a few minutes. It didn't take Layne's mind long to wander back to that subject that he was trying to suppress. He was thinking about Phil. He was curious. He was wondering what the guy was doing. If he was still talking to Liz, seeing her kid.

He wondered if it was worth it to hold on to this anger he had. Liz had let it go. His sister had apparently let it go and was talking to their dad, even though she knew how he had done Layne.

Layne sighed quietly as he thought about it. He rubbed his forehead, shifting in the bed.

He stared up at the ceiling, a knot in his stomach.

"Baby?" He asked.

Shannon jumped, ceasing his typing and looked back at the bed.

"Oh! Hey Layne. You're awake?" Shannon asked, smiling warmly.

"Yeah." Layne smiled lightly, looking over at his husband.

"How was your nap?" Shannon smiled.

Layne rolled over in bed, grabbing his pillow, looking at Shannon with furrowed brows, a pout on his face.

Shannon looked back at Layne with concern in his eyes, pursing his lips.

"Baby do you still have my dad's number in your phone?" Layne asked randomly after a few minutes of staring at each other.

"Yeah. Yeah I do." Shannon said softly.

"Can you like, call him for me?" Layne hesitated and said softly, face turning red as he asked his husband to do this.

"I could." Shannon said softly.

Shannon didn't question Layne. He figured this was gonna be on Layne's mind sometime. He sort of figured Layne would still want to talk to his father. Shannon didn't say anything to Layne. Layne was unpredictable when it came to the subject of his father.

Whatever Layne wanted, Shannon would do.

"Can you like, do it now?" Layne pouted.

Shannon smiled and nodded, getting up and laying on the bed beside Layne. He took his phone out. Layne sat up and wrapped his arms around Shannon's torso, resting his head on Shannon's shoulder as Shannon looked through his contacts.

"Do you wanna talk to him or something?" Shannon asked softly.

Layne shook his head.

"Can you just find out how he's doing?" Layne asked softly.

"Sure babe." Shannon said softly, smiling a little.

Layne closed his eyes as he relaxed against Shannon. Shannon pressed Phil's contact and the phone started ringing. Layne could feel his heart rate pick up as Shannon was silent, waiting for someone to answer.

Layne bit his lip as it kept ringing. Shannon finally ended the call.

"He's not answering babe." Shannon said softly.

"Leave a message. Tell him to call you." Layne said softly.

Shannon smiled and laughed lightly. He redialed the number and let it ring until Phil's voicemail came up.

Layne closed his eyes and rested against Shannon as he listened to Shannon talk on the phone.

"Phil? It's Layne's husband, Shannon. I was just calling to see how you've been doing? Just wanted to know how things are in your neck of the woods. I'd love it if you could call me back. Your grandsons are in kindergarten now. I'd love to tell you about it. When you're not busy, give me call. I'd love to hear from you. Alright, talk to you later...hopefully." Shannon said and then ended the call.

He looked at Layne and smiled.

"Happy?" He smiled.

Layne shrugged, holding onto Shannon tight. Shannon kissed Layne's cheek.

"You know Layne. It's okay. It's okay if you wanna talk to your father." Shannon said softly.

"Yeah." Layne muttered.

"You don't have to keep harboring this resentment you know. It's much more healthier to let it go. Everyone's changed Layne. Everyone's changed." Shannon said softly, squeezing Layne's side.

"I know Shannon. I know." Layne said softly. "I feel guilty." He nearly whispered.

"That's okay Layne. You were sort of mean. Really mean. Your dad's really trying. Well he was. You didn't hear the conversations I had with him. He thinks really highly of you baby. Despite everything you've done to push him away. He thinks highly of you." Shannon smiled.

Layne smiled a little.

"I guess." He muttered.

"I know you're really angry about the way you grew up, but it was just the hand you were dealt Layne. It seems everyone else in your dad's life has forgiven him. Why can't you? I mean, our babies are so happy. You've been nothing but a great father to them. They definitely don't have it hard. Would you want any of the children being angry like this all the time?" Shannon said softly.

"No." Layne sighed, looking down.

"I think you need to set a good example for them." Shannon smiled. "I think they need a grandpa."

Layne smiled and chuckled to himself.

"You're only doing this for your benefit. You get off on this grandpa stuff." Layne joked.

Shannon smiled, biting his lip.

"I think this would benefit you better though. Having some sort of a relationship with him. I think you'd be happier. All I ever wanted was for you to be happy Layne." Shannon smiled.

Layne smiled and kissed Shannon.

"I am happy. I'm so happy with you. You know I'd do anything for you. I know you want the kids to meet him. I can look at you and tell. You want them to meet him so bad. He's not that bad anymore. I guess. He is sober I suppose. He seems to have gotten his shit together." Layne replied, pondering to himself.

Shannon laughed lightly, squeezing Layne's side.

"The question is would he still want to talk to me after what happened though? I was pretty fucking hard on him." Layne questioned.

"I already told you how highly he thinks of you. I think everything's gonna be just fine. So what are you saying Layne, are you gonna talk to him?" Shannon asked.

Layne sighed shakily.

"I guess. Not right now. I just want you to find out how he's doing."

"We don't have to rush this. You take all the time you need." Shannon smiled, squeezing Layne.

"You're such a nice person Shannon. You are so fucking nice. Why are you making me be nice?" Layne sighed and laughed lightly.

"It's not all me. It's you too. I'm so proud of you Layne." Shannon smiled.

"Yeah. Whatever." Layne smiled, blushing and looking down.

"I hope everything works out. Oh my god I want the kids to have a grandpa so bad!" Shannon smiled.

Layne chuckled, shaking his head.

"I think you have a crush on my dad." Layne smirked.

"What!? No I don't! Oh my god Layne!" Shannon giggled, blushing.

"Yes you do. You totally do. You were blushing so much when we were at his house." Layne smirked, teasing Shannon.

"No I wasn't. Oh my god." Shannon blushed, giggling.

"If you aren't crushing on him, then why is your face so red right now? Hm?" Layne smirked, biting his lip.

"Because you're a dork dear. Oh my god I am not crushing on your dad." Shannon smiled.

"You are so full of shit Shanny. Look at you. You love Staley boys don't you? Don't you?" Layne smiled, tickling Shannon.

Shannon writhed and flinched, laughing loudly.

"Layne cut it out! Stop it! Please baby please!" Shannon exclaimed, laughing and trying to push Layne away.

"Just admit it! You love Staley men!" Layne smirked.

"Okay okay okay! I love the Staleys! Okay!" Shannon exclaimed, flinching at Layne's wiggling fingers.

Layne laughed lightly, ceasing the torture of his husband. Shannon gasped for air as they held each other, looking into Layne's eyes.

"I fucking love you Shannon." Layne said, looking into Shannon's eyes.

"I love you too." Shannon smiled.

They leaned in and shared a sweet, soft and passionate kiss. They kept their foreheads pressed together once their lips parted.

"Maybe he'll call back in a few hours or days." Shannon said softly.

Layne sighed shakily against Shannon.

He was absolutely terrified at these new feelings he was having. He was so used to being angry and resentful.


End file.
